Guys, how important is it for you whether your gf/wife had a lot of “backdoor” experience with her ex’es?

22 comments

1. For me… Not important at all. I’ve done anal a couple times and it was nice and all but the reason it was cool in those moments was because the person I was with REALLY loved it. For me, once I’m inside, it pretty much feels the same whether it’s anal or vaginal. However, if the woman I’m with is absolutely into it, now it’s awesome because we’re both having a hell of a good time. If she’s not into it, OK. No big deal for me.

2. Not sure what you mean by that. Anal? If it’s anal, whose ass are we talking about?

3. This is a problem that tends to come up on here every few days.

   Your SO does not need to know your sexual history. You don’t need to tell him details. Forcing the conversation is a great way to fuck you relationship up.

4. What she did before she met me is none of my business 🤷‍♂️

5. I don’t understand the question. Why would it be important to me if they had anal sex in the past/the amount of anal sex they’ve had?

   The question is: do I or she want to have anal sex *now*? Hopefully we’re on the same page, regardless of whether she did or not in the past.

6. I can truthfully say that this question has never once crossed my mind.

7. It’s fine if the seal is broken but If she has a very high back door count that’s going to put me off to anything serious. I’ll just take my turn and be on my way.

8. Rule #1 for any kind of sex is that she needs to be 100% into it. If she isn’t, I don’t want it. It would bum me out and make me feel irrationally jealous if she did anal with others but not with me. But if she doesn’t want it for whatever reason, that’s that. I wouldn’t argue.

9. Absolutely unimportant because I’m not into that kind of stuff.

10. I generally don’t care about anal sex, so there’s no importance to me.

    If she wants to negotiate it, we can talk

11. Is this something she’s done and won’t with you? Or is it something she’s done a lot and your unsure of how you view her now? If it’s the first she maybe never liked it and learned how to express herself. If it’s the second she is the same person you liked before you knew.

12. Probably one of the least important things I could possibly come up with in my wildest dreams.

13. Why would you even want to know? lol

    Dont ask questions like that.

14. My thinking on this tends to go a little against the grain of the rest of the comments so far… though I agree that the intimate details of my partner’s previous bedroom stuff is private and should stay private.

    If your partner did things with previous partners that she won’t do with you, there’s a high chance that she’s just not that into you. And hell… forget about past partners, whatever that thing she won’t do with you, she’d definitely do it with her celebrity crush. When a woman is truly, truly in love with you mind body and soul, she is a lot more adventurous than when she’s just settling because she enjoys your company, protection, agency and money.

    So… if you catch wind that she used to be wilder and is now less wild than she used to be… I’m not saying it’s a deal breaker or absolute proof that she doesn’t like you like that. I am saying that you should consider the possibility. And if you consider it and decide she just isn’t that into you, maybe don’t take the relationship as seriously as you would have otherwise.

    The last thing you should do is be weird and accusatory and pushy about things in the bedroom. If she’s not into it, pressuring the situation isn’t going to help a single thing and will likely undermine your entire relationship.

15. I have zero interest in the sex they had with exes. Don’t want to hear about any of it.

    I remember talking with my college gf once and I joked about knowing a lot about her. She responded with “You don’t know everything about me. I’ve done some things that I haven’t told you about.” It could have been a million different things but it sent me into a panic since I assumed the worst. To this day it still freaks me out.

16. Eww you could possibly get shit on your dick. Said no man ever

17. Unless something directly effects things now. It’s best to leave things in the past. It can turn into a rabbit hole of self doubt or change your view of your partner etc. etc. and you can’t just forget it once you know.

18. I don’t care if it was backdoor or frontdoor. What I care about is what she likes/wants now with me.

19. Only two things are relevant about that (to me):

    1) Are there any medical consequences due to it? If so, no thanks.

    2) Does she still want it? If so, I’m the wrong guy no desire for poop drilling.

20. If anal was that important to me, then I guess it would matter?

21. Doesn’t matter. The number of partners she has had also doesn’t matter.

22. As long as I can fuck her ass too, I dont care.

    If she had a lot of experience, but she didnt want to have anal with me, that would be a mayor problem.