I’m in the middle of working with a psychiatrist and a likely diagnosis. It was something I never thought about up until the past few years. I always assumed I was the way I was due to absentee parents, it never hit me that something else could be going on.
Eventually I started researching and listening to some podcast stories and it’s like a lightning bolt hit me.
My dad was 40 when he had me and my mom was 20 (older fathers raises risk rate by a lot).
I hated being touched as a child
I was always overly sensitive to sound, especially as a child
I was always weaker than other children
I was always very clumsy and bad at sports
I spent a lot of time watching people and mimicking behaviours
I’ve always felt like an alien, literally expecting a space ship to come pick me up someday and bring me to where I came from
I spent a lot of time alone
I always had odd behaviours and people would comment on them, from the way I sat to how I acted. I literally thought maybe I was gay or trans but I know I’m just a straight white man and love women but these behaviors had me wondering why I am so different from other men.
I always feel like my interests are more childish than my peers.
On and on and on. Looking at it all now, it’s extremely obvious. Just wondering if other folks have been in this situation and how it went.
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I hear you. And a lot of your experiences and how your brain works sounds similar to me.
I’m not diagnosed with any neurodivergence. However, I have a 7 year old daughter where we’ve started the process of diagnosis for PDA and ADHD. The more I learn about her and her triggers and nervous system disability, he more I realise that I’ve spent most of my life thinking I was broken and different, where as actually I’ve just got a brain that was wired differently.
Initially I didn’t want to go through the process of diagnosis for her, because I saw it as just a label. And a label doesn’t define her. However, a diagnosis goes such a long way towards her helping understand that the way she thinks and who she is isn’t broken. She’s just wired differently, and that’s OK.
I can appreciate the feeling of understanding and relief that comes with a late in life diagnosis for autism. Im on the fence as to whether to get anything official. Maybe one day I’ll do something, but I’m certainly pleased for you that you’re getting help and a better understanding of who you are as a person. There’s a lot of value in that.
I just barely learned I’m autistic and I’m 38.
My whole life suddenly makes sense which has been a big relief, to understand why so many things worked out the way they have. I see all the relationships I’ve had in a new light and now realize I can approach relationships with this understanding and hope they’ll be better for it.
I’ve written a lot about my experiences being diagnosed with ADHD and High Functioning Autism/ Asperger’s as an adult in the past. Feel free to take a look at my comment history.
I very strongly recommend reading the Compete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome by Tony Attwood. It talks about the things you mentioned including sensitivities. I saw it as the complete guide to understanding me and how I was different from others, why things went differently, coping mechanisms I’ve developed, attentional and fatigue issues, so many things.
Feel free to message me on Reddit as well. Glad to chat sometime, although today I’m a bit busy.
I’ll give you some advice, don’t tell your employers (or other coworkers) about it. They will notice your querks but don’t let it get to you. And be careful of autistic burnout, it’s a real thing and sucks. Best of luck to you.