So, I have an extremely sensitive clitoris, to the point where it’s very painful when other people try to touch it. I like the idea of getting head, or having a partner stimulate my clitoris with their fingers, but in reality it lasts for about two seconds before I have to stop.
When I’m masturbating, it’s fine. I know exactly where to touch and how sensitive it is, but it is just so particular and touchy that communicating that to a partner feels nigh impossible. I end up having to push my partners away from touching my clitoris and everyone I’ve been with has seemed rather discouraged and turned off by that.
I think for the reason of how it influences my partners’ behavior and feelings I get kind of frustrated by how the clitoris is seen as a universally easy way to achieve pleasure during partnered sex. That has not been my experience at all. I have never had a really good experience of someone else touching my clit.
I guess I’m just looking for people who have a similar experience because I feel like I can’t be the only person who has this problem.
Additional info: I took Testosterone for a year about the same time I became sexually active. T did make my clitoris quite a bit larger and more sensitive than it was before, but it was already pretty sensitive and touchy before.
6 comments
Well i guess finding very understanding partner who will take time to learn it from you so its not painfull is best choice+ enough lubrication. Let them watch how you do it and then navigate their fingers 🙂
You’ve discovered what works for you when it comes to masturbating. Try sharing your masturbation techniques with your partner so they understand your body preferences so they can better match your needs.
My current gf is also very very sensitive. She stopped me in the beginning and gave my and and used her other hand to demonstrate exactly how she need to be touched how lightly and which motions worked best for her. I was quite surprised at how lightly she preferred it.., almost no posture at all a light circular motions. When things get hot I prefer to use a little saliva on my fingers to get started as that slipperiness is awesome. Note that she’s shown me I can get her to orgasm with my fingers in almost no time, it’s incredible. So being taught exactly how to do it to each woman is essential. Because we’re all very different.
Question, how easily are you able to orgasm via non-clitorial stimulation? Are you able to orgasm from penetration? If you are, then I’d communicate to your partners that. After all, as you said in the post, a lot of guys are used to the clitorus being the easiest way to give pleasure.
Have you tried to demonstrate to them how you masturbate by moving their hand in the specific fashion?
I also have an issue with clitoral pain. I usually don’t let my husband touch it, just when I am in the mood and I tell him what to do. Unfortunately it is not really predictable so no way to teach him.
I also realized using a vibrator on higher setting doesn’t give me pain even though I would suppose the opposite. Maybe you can check it out as well.
So,.my partner is like this. Her vagina is not very… I don’t know the best way to put this, but for lack of a better word “lippy.” I don’t know if I’d say her clit is larger than average, but definitely more exposed and WAY more sensitive than any other partner I’ve had. Fingers are too much for her on her clit, and I have to be gentle with giving her oral.
Initially, when we were first together, she would decline oral from me all the time, which blew my mind and had me feeling very self conscious as I literally never had a partner day no to me eating them out.
Since then we found a few toys that she likes and she has “walked me through” how she wants to be eaten out (very gently). Thankfully, she is also very sensitive in other ways, she can cum and squirt through only penetration, and in certain positions she can achieve a clitoral orgasm from grinding against me in the right ways.
I’ll be honest, it still makes me feel a little inadequate that she doesn’t like me eating her out more, it’s just a hard thing to get past, bit at the end of the day I’m glad I can satisfy her in other ways.