Me 24F and my boyfriend 23M have been together for about a year and a half and went travelling around thailand. One night we had an argument and he stormed out and never came back to the hotel till 6pm the following day. I had tried to ring and text him but couldn’t get through to him as he had no data or a thailand sim. He didn’t bother to send me a text or message to let me know he was okay or to even check up on me. He didn’t care to find wifi which he could have easily done as there is wifi in all bars and restaurants and places around where we was staying or to even think of me to think that I would be worried. I didn’t sleep or eat the whole time. I was out running round the streets looking for him in bars. Was asking places to look at their cctv footage. Went to the police station and filed a report and to look at street cctv footage. Was panicking something bad might have happened to him. When he eventually rolls in at about 6pm the next day, the first thing he says to me is “what’s up” and I said are you messing I’ve been worried sick about you. And then all he could say was sorry. His excuse was that we argued and he needed space. When he got back I saw a girl had followed him on Instagram he said he had been with 2 couples all night and that he had stayed over at their place. I asked him to message this girl and he refused to do it cause he says I should just trust in what he is telling me. I don’t know whether to believe him and if it’s something I should break up with him over? Please give me your opinions
39 comments
Your boyfriend went out and got himself a “lady friend” in an act of petty revenge.
>I don’t know whether to believe him
Absolutely not.
>and if it’s something I should break up with him over?
Absolutely.
What was the argument about? At face value off this one post as a Stanger it’s easy to say break up. After all yea he could’ve sent you a message especially if he had time to add someone.
Add in how you noticed someone followed him on Instagram. I’m gonna say your relationship probably isn’t the healthiest to begin with.
You were wrong that he didn’t think you would be worried, he absolutely knew you would and stayed away as long as he did to maximize your worry. It’s manipulative bullshit and you should absolutely dump the asshat for it.
I think whether he cheated or not is almost besides the point. The fact that he took his space for 24 hours and left you worried sick, and then his callous response is a big fat issue though.
Whether or not you believe him isn’t even the main consideration here – the main thing is he left you alone in an unfamiliar country for a whole day, without checking up on you or having the basic decency of letting you know where he was and whether he was ok.
His silence was intentionally punitive and cruel. He happily left you alone so he could spend an evening with strangers, and after spending an evening at their place, still didn’t contact you until the following evening even after he had time to cool off post-argument.
This is disrespectful and mean, and you should think about whether you want to stay with someone like this.
Long time ago I learned a lesson to be suspicious whenever a person explicitly throws “trust/believe me” at your face.
There’s a lot that probably had happened that night. You shouldn’t decide to leave over the unknown part of it, rather a known one, which is – he knew you will be obviously worried and how that action paints him. He, as a man, has no integrity. A real and decent man would never let other people, especially you, doubt him by his actions.
And yes, that type of men is rare. Which is why you’re dating and breaking up until you find this rare one you will marry.
End it. He is not boyfriend material. Get tested…..who knows what cooties he caught when he cheated.
He started the fight on purpose – everyone know what Thailand is known for. He wanted to partake in the action without you…and he did.
What a shitty thing to do to you. Dump him.
Just the fact that he won’t message the girl he followed on Instagram and isn’t unfilling her…is disrespectful. I would break up for him for that alone.
Thailand is known as adult Disney world. I would put money on it that even he stormed off he met someone for sex. It is so popular and common there, he could have went into any bar and he’d be approached by them. Super cheap prices too.
he either met a girl at a club to have sex with or he found a prostitute. I would under no cicumstances sleep with this man ever again as you have to understand youre opening yourself up to sexually transmitted diseases.
If you feel like he did something he did. You’ll never shake that feeling. I’ve had one bf stay out all night and I knew him well so I knew he didn’t do anything even if I was worried and pissed off at him. I had another bf do the same thing, my first thought was he was cheating, turns out he was a serial cheater. Trust your instincts and how well you know your partner.
Sketchy. I don’t deal with sketchy behavior like that from a partner. He disappeared for 24 hours without calling or texting you? Not cool at all I wouldn’t stand for that. It’s completely appropriate to expect your partner who you traveled abroad with to keep in touch with you. I would dump him.
Yes you should dump him. He knew you’d be worried sick while in the meantime he enjoyed himself with another woman. He’s malicious and I wouldn’t want to be with someone who runs away after an argument and cheat to feel better. Block his ass and and never look back.
He did not go missing, he was playing Grab ass with the lady-boys over there
You’re on r/relationshipadvice, you’re going to receive the only response this board gives, ‘dump them and move on’
The title doesn’t match the story. Your boyfriend didn’t go missing, he went out and had a great time by having a threesome without your knowledge or consent.
Boy bye. My advice to you, you’re in no position to deal with a man who’s willing to leave you in Thailand alone. God only knows what he was up to and he’s clearly not being transparent. He didn’t even care enough to hide it from you by following someone on insta.
Dump him. Did he cause the argument? Sounds like he wanted to be able to leave to cheat.
Break up with him. Believe me, if he’ll disappear and leave you thinking the worst as far as what happened to him because he’s too much of an asshole to let you know where he is and that he’s ok, he’ll do it again.
On the rare chance he doesn’t, his selfishness will surface in other destructive ways. Doesn’t matter if he cheated. The way he treated you by disappearing is a big nope.
Thailand? You mean freaky-deeky sex world?
If you guys argue to this extent just leave.
Ahh the sex tours of Thailand.
Besides that, he’s disrespectful, and lying. Get tested
Thailand is notorious for its, shall we say, women of the night
I think that you need to get tested for STDs if you slept with him after he was gone for that time. He was “with” two couples all night.
Yes this is a dealbreaker.
He doesn’t even have basic common courtesy skills.
Turn the tables…how do you think he would of reacted if YOU had done this?
(Not that it matters, because he clearly does not care about you, your feelings, etc.)
Should have asked to smell his dick right when he got there.
The ladyboys are the captain now
left you worried sick .. ON VACATION … answer is right front of you
Where in Thailand?
Maybe “you guys were on a break”.
This EXACT type of situation happened to me with a friend who I went to Thailand with for 2 weeks. She actually left me at a restaurant somewhere in Bangkok because she was angry about the food options lol. I had no service and I had no idea how to get back to the hotel because I kept having to find WiFi. Worse experience ever. I felt SO alone!
FAST FOWARD. We are no longer friends.
CUT HIM LOOSE. When someone shows you who they are please believe them.
He set that up the whole time. 😎
Even if he’s telling the truth (which I personally don’t believe), he is totally inconsiderate, selfish and childish
🚩🚩🚩
He took you to a foreign country to cheat on you right in front of you. Yeah, you should break up. It would be worth breaking up with someone who took you to a foreign country and then abandoned you alone, but the cheating is the cherry on top.
He probably staged the argument so he could have some sex tourism
Do yourself a huge huge favour and leave him! His character is not good. You will never have a peaceful, respectful, and loving life with someone like this.
Love yourself enough to not put up with disrespect like this
He picked this fight didn’t he??