So I was dating a girl for a couple of months and during the beginning of the relationship (before we were officially together) I was talking to another girl who I had never gone on a date with but talked to frequently for a few weeks. After a few dates with my ex, I knew that I wanted to be committed to only her and we were on the same page about being exclusive. I already had a first date planned with the other girl who I had been talking to very frequently so I told her that I was seeing someone else and things are getting more serious. I told her that it wouldn’t be fair to her or the girl I was seeing as I felt that I would develop an attachment. So I cancelled the date with her and she was very understanding. We wished each other the best and we both moved on. Fast forward to now and I’m no longer with my ex and I’m thinking about what could’ve been with the other girl I liked. Would it be wrong to reach back out? I understand some time has passed and they may not even be single or willing to reconnect anymore but I can’t help but wonder what could have been as I felt like we connected pretty well
9 comments
No one likes being second choice.. you can try?
But prepare yourself to get an answer you might not want.
If this was me. I would not say yes..
You got nothing to lose. Life’s to short. Go for it.
Sure, go ahead and reach out, but don’t be surprised if she isn’t interested.
You can def try, but yeah if you reach out she will prob know most likely things did not work out with the other girl
I’m not sure if there’s any way to make it seem like they weren’t a second option at the time. Unfortunately, I was convinced that my ex was the right person for me and I didn’t feel right continuing to talk to any other girls. It was especially important since they said they had stopped talking to other guys. Nevertheless, I feel like I may have lost the opportunity but I guess I won’t know unless I reach out
Unpopular opinion: No. Leave her be. You chose someone else over her and it’s not fair to her when that didn’t work out to say “yea hey, I liked you all along”. Frankly, if she is smart, she will probably not respond or worse send back “LOL” and never talk to you again. You made the wrong choice, live with it. It builds character.
As a woman, who experienced being second choice twice, it’s not really a pleasant feeling. I appreciated the fact that they told me they were seeing someone else, so they couldn’t pursue something with me. However, once things didn’t work out with the person they were seeing, I felt pretty disrespected when they tried to pursue me. I would’ve pretty much spent a considerable amount of time to move on and stopped thinking about them all together, but once they came running back, it just leaves a bad feeling in my stomach. It’s up to you to reach out, but if she feels anything like I did, she wouldn’t want to pursue anything with you anymore.
Leave her alone. You already had your chance.
You can try but don’t expect her to be available physically and mentally, she may have just moved on