So I (M27) have been seeing this woman (F27). We’ve been on 4 dates, had sex on the fourth, I didn’t cum but it was fine. For the fiffth one, she came over to my place, we had a nice conversation and then fooled around.
For context, I had a botched circumsition on my teens meaning my penis is unusual. It is fully functional but it looks weird and it hurts unless it it treated right.
So during sex I didn’t cum (this is normal for me) and she did. After, she felt insecure about me not finidhing and asked if she can do smth. I showed her how to stimulate it, but instead of trying she said something like “I’ve never seen somethkng like this” and started laughing.
This absolutely killed the mood for me, she noticed, so we just cuddled and went to eat smth.
I’ve never had someone make fun of me like this, it felt awful and I think I don’t want to see her again. Am I being dramatic?
41 comments
Wow, lots of gaslighting here. Listen OP, if you feel awful and think you don’t want to see her again then that’s valid. You’re not being dramatic.
Theres a CLEAR bias in this subreddit, against men. If the tables were turned and the man was laughing at a woman’s privates, the comments would be MUCH different. All the comments now are “tee hee, NBD, laughing means many things, it’s totally harmless” meanwhile this dude is clearly hurt.
OP, talk it out with her. Explain what the deal is, why yours is different, and ask if she’s ok with it going forward. Tell her the laughing made you feel bad. None of this is your fault, but I’d at least want to talk to her and get her true feelings about the situation if you truly like her.
As a woman, I’m sorry she treated you that way. It sounds like she was uncomfortable and maybe didn’t know what to say. We get insecure when a man doesn’t cum, like there’s something he didn’t find attractive about us or any number of imagined scenarios. It sounds like she was trying to make herself feel better by making you feel bad.
I think you should do whatever makes you feel comfortable. With that being said, if she didn’t apologize or try to talk to you about her reaction, she may just be really immature. But do what makes you happy.
Trust your gut. Your body isn’t a joke to you, and she failed to consider your perspective and experience with her. Honestly, if the roles were reversed, and she had a cosmetic issue with her vagina, do you think she’ll let that slide?
I’m sorry that happened 🙁 I’ve dated a guy with an unusual birth defect in that area but thought it was cool. (i like uniqueness though.) I would tell her that she hurt your feelings and if she acts rudely just move on to find someone that will accept you as you are.
Yeah I’d say you wouldn’t be weird for feeling like that turns you off to that person entirely, bc wtf?
I don’t know if she made fun of it, but I can imagine that it hurt you when she laughed in that situation.
Did she properly apologise? Like “I’m so sorry I hurt you. I was nervous and didn’t really know what to do, that’s why I tried to lighten the mood.i didn’t realise it would backfire and hurt you.”
If yes,I would probably belive her and see if you can get comfortable with each other again.
If you don’t feel like you can be vulnerable with her again, it is totally valid to end things.
Idk why people are trying to make you feel like being insecure is invalid. A response like that during a close moment is absolutely unwarranted and you’re in the right to feel weird about it. Of course you feel insecure, it’s a very private part of your body you only share with few people.
Have a talk and maybe try to help her understand exactly why you feel bad so it can be avoided in the future, but I definitely wouldn’t blame you for not wanting to hook up for a while, I’d be so uncomfortable being around someone who laughed at me like that, regardless of whether or not they meant it in a harmful way.
What. The. Hell. She asked what she could do and then laughed when you showed her?? A cornerstone of a healthy relationship is loving your partner’s body and making them feel comfortable during intimacy. It’s not dramatic to drop someone who doesn’t do that for you.
No – you’re not being dramatic. I don’t think your date is very attuned to the male psyche.
She sounds like a shitty person. I’m a woman; if a dude laughed at my genitals, sexy time would be over and I’d ask him to leave my home. Sorry this happened to you.
Nah man fuck her. I wouldn’t see her again. I’ve seen lots of different and unusual parts of women and I’ve never laughed. She’s an asshole.
No. You legit can’t help a botched medical procedure and its side effects. Maybe she was just nervous and laughed out of a reaction to that, not uncommon for people to do in strained situations, but not acknowledging or apologizing? Thats beyond insensitive.
OP, as a woman, I just would never ever comment on someone’s dick like this. I think you felt hurt because it was a hurtful thing for her to say!! like, imagine if you pointed out a part of her body and were like “hahaha i’ve never seen something like this.” it seems like she’s either not a very kind person, or is just kinda clueless… you deserve someone with more empathy! all dicks are different, find someone who celebrates yours
she’s a shitty person for doing that. it’s not your fault & it’s disgusting to laugh at someone’s body. you’re not being dramatic at all
If a woman literally laughed at my penis I don’t know if I could ever be comfortable enough with her to have sex again. Men are deep down sensitive about their penises and women know this. How she could laugh at your dick is beyond me. You’re not being dramatic. What she did was mean and a dick move. At the very least it shows a complete inability to be considerate of your feelings. If she laughed about it to your face there’s a good chance she laughed about it even more with her friends. Does that strike you like a trustworthy person? I certainly don’t think so. Someone who will readily disrespect you like that is more likely to hurt you and be unfaithful.
You’ve only been on 4 dates, this is when she’s supposed to be putting her absolute best foot forward. What will she be like after a year of dating?
In my opinion a woman who would literally laugh at your dick to your face is more likely to cheat on you, disrespect you, hurt you, abuse you physically and/or emotionally, and just be a shitty person in general. Her true self came out for a second, and it wasn’t a empathetic and considerate person.
I’m so sorry that happened. You are NOT being dramatic. You have every right to not move forward with her.
This sub is incredible, what the fuck is wrong with some of these people. I don’t blame you for being upset about this man, people are saying maybe she was nervous but it’s still insensitive of her. It isn’t difficult to control your reaction to sensitive things like that. Don’t let these people convince you otherwise. If you were as insecure as these fuckin weirdos are saying, you probably wouldn’t have the confidence to take that thing out of your pants! But you do, and that’s awesome man. Don’t let this get you down
As a guy, I’d feel just like you so you’re not being overdramatic. She didn’t giggle at a dish you kept in the oven too long or you losing your balance on a slippery surface, she laughed when you were most vulnerable.
It’s hard to move on from that. I think it depends how much you like her, if you feel a strong connection could arise then attempt to move on but if you think the potential isn’t too strong then I’d understand you leaving. A reaction like that doesn’t just go away after a week, it’s a mental hurdle.
I remember a chick giggled when I was soft about 7 years ago and it’s still engraved in my brain.
You haven’t invested that much time in this person. So if you break up you haven’t lost much. Personally I couldn’t get over it if a guy made a rude comment about my body.
I had sex with a guy who was in some sort of accident and his foreskin had fused to the tip in an uncomfortable way. It didn’t bother me, I was more concerned with how we could have sex without me hurting him in some way. He showed me what felt good and what didn’t and we had a great experience. I felt bad after because he wanted a relationship and I didn’t. Besides that, I’m sorry she reacted that way and was hurtful toward you. There are other women who I’m sure would be more understanding and more than happy to learn how to take care of you the way that works for you. I hope you find her one day. 💙
Drop her. For her to say that is absolutely vile
You’re not obligated to stay in any relationship, for any reason.
If you’re uncomfortable and you don’t want to see her or be naked with her again, then that’s reason enough to end it.
Personally, if someone laughed at my body after I’d explained that I had a physical difference, I’d boot them immediately. That’s a cruel and AH thing to do.
it’s completely valid to feel weird or uncomfortable after someone mocked you like that, especially during such an intimate moment about such a private part of your body. i 100% think ghosting is alright in this circumstance but i think the best thing would be to tell her that she hurt your feelings so she *knows* she did something hurtful and wrong. if she reacts in a bad way, block her and find someone who appreciates your body and isn’t nasty about it. if she apologizes sincerely, do whatever you want to with that wether it’s leaving or staying
Sorry that happened, but it was just the wrong person. I personally do not care what genitals look like as long as I can get someone off. I’m not the only person who feels this way lol. You’ll find someone! Definitely worth more than someone who doesn’t respect you though
I am a woman, and I think you should ditch her. She showed her true colors, and she was so disrespectful. I can’t believe she said that, what a biatch. Anyone with integrity and a conscience would know not to do that. There are kinder women out there who will care about ALL of you. Show her the door! She doesn’t even deserve a conversation.
Not being dramatic
At 27, she should know better than to body shame you. I’ve seen some unusual penises and never ever would I mention it, she’s not worth it
If a woman laughed at my privates, I’d reply “Have you ever considered labiaplasty? Because maybe you should.”
You’re not at all dramatic, you’re entitled to your to your own insecurities. What i would say is say is tell her that it made you feel off, and it is an insecurity of yours. She has a right to know, perhaps she was talking about something else. Like your inabilities to cum. Perhaps she is also being insecure not knowing if you find her attractive or good at intimacy. How she reacts from there will be the big indicator of if shes worth anymore of your time.
Why did you cuddle her afterward? Should have asked her to leave.
Edit: I take it back. Why didn’t you ask her why she laughed? Maybe try that? This way you know if she was laughing from nervousness or laughing at you. Communication is the key here as that way you will know the truth so you can react accordingly.
I’m sorry about that. From the wording, it doesn’t sound like she meant it as an insult, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t insulting. Let her know, maybe she can explain, but you also don’t have to ever talk to her again if you don’t want
No you’re not being dramatic. That was extremely rude and insensitive of her. If a guy I was seeing made fun of my genitals I wouldn’t want to see him again
Sex is such a vulnerable thing. The fact she would say that is terrible. I’d dump her quick. I personally wouldn’t be able to recover from that.
Nah you’re not being dramatic, she’s showing you who she is. If you don’t want to see her again then don’t.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that, she wasn’t being sensitive at all. If i were you i wouldn’t meet her again, that’s so hurtful and i don’t think i could get past someone i date saying something like that to me.
On behalf of women, I am *so incredibly sorry* this happened to you. I don’t think she has a clue how damaging that can be to how you feel about her.
If you don’t want to see her again, don’t. There are women out there who won’t mind at all.
There is *nothing wrong with you or your body*. Please remember that.
I don’t think she was laughing ***at your penis***. You obviously pleased her with your dick. It sounds like you have an unusual ***method*** of stimulating your penis when you masturbate. I suspect that she was quite surprised, and a lot of people giggle as a nervous coping mechanism. Chances are that she meant nothing bad, but I understand if it hurt your feelings and you feel uncomfortable around her.
You shouldn’t see her again if it makes you feel bad, I just don’t want you to feel bad going forward, or anticipating ridicule from your next partner. 🩵
if she TRULY thought it was ugly she wouldn’t have said anything. in her mind the joke was minor but in your mind it’s huge. she apologized too. up to u but in this case i say forgive.
edit: maybe she wasn’t even making fun of you and maybe she was flirting. her statement was so neutral like she didn’t say anything negative. Example: i’ve touched a guy’s thing before and laughed and said something similar like “what’s this” like playful innocent vibes. i wasn’t making fun of him, i was flirting.
what i’m saying is it would be horrible if you ended things when she didn’t mean it that way. not saying ur feelings aren’t valid cuz it’s a sensitive topic but it’s kinda unfair.
Go to the doctor and get this fixed immediately.
She didn’t make fun of you, she laughed. Don’t be insecure. If you have a weird dick you’re gonna have to be confident with it. When someone sees a deformity they become uncomfortable, and often people will laugh when uncomfortable. She didn’t say “it looks like a raisin attached to a peanut.” She didn’t say “your dick is so weird looking I thought it was gonna ask me to take it to my leader.” You have a weird dick, you have to be twice as confident, it’s just a fact of actual reality, and if a girl laughing when she sees it is gonna fuck you up, you’re gonna have a bad time. You should be able to laugh at your weird dick. Here’s a secret homie: *every* dick looks weird. They’re dicks.