f 29 here. I’m far from being pretty, my face and smile are the perfect example of uncanny valley or Lovecraftian possessed characters. Jokes aside, should I show attention to people and make the first movements?

25 comments

  2. You have said how u feel about yourself.
    Let others decide for themselves
    Give it a shot and try to socialize with people.
    Everything will be an experience

  4. Just go for it. Eventually you’ll come across someone who accepts you for who you are. Not everyone is going to be attracted to us, but for someone out there you fit their definition of pretty or even beautiful

  5. Yes.

    …And since I feel that you and I are in the same boat, I’m going to tell you why and how I do what I do:

    I love humans, and I love interacting with them. Now, because I recognize that I can be “a lot” for folks to handle, (and I genuinely don’t want to freak people out), I’m sensitive about the way I do stuff. I try to “mindfully filter”.

    At a grocery store, in passing, let’s say I see someone wearing a pair of boots that I think are REALLY fantastic— and I’m eager to let them know that I love their boots.

    There’s a subtle-but-important difference in telling the person “I love their boots”—

    i) as I approach them, or,

    ii) as I am walking away from them, well outside their immediate space.

    The world as it is needs more human connection. A lot of folks are suffering from some level of loneliness. Such small connections as described above won’t resolve this loneliness problem themselves… but they will help a little.

    At the same time, the past fifteen years (or so) have exposed sensitivities among some varied groups of people that offer those of us who want to acknowledge/address these sensitivities an overt opportunity to *change our behaviour*.

    The trick is balance.

    We can and should make kind, thoughtful, positive connections with other humans, —regardless of our standing (real or perceived) on the social ladder.
    We just ought to be mindful about it.

    We’ll never “read the room” perfectly, — but we should be considerately and consistently trying for it.

    Again— *balance*.

  6. In person, the vibe you project is even more important than a weird face structure or whatever. I used to have two customers: one was an awful ugly old hag and the other was a sweet angelic woman. They were in together one day and I realized they actually looked and dressed like 95% the same.
    The “ugly” one was always scoffing, scowling, or yelling at us. So that’s how her face was saved in my brain. The one I had thought was pretty always smiled and good to see you, said have a nice day. It blew my mind. Most of the time it’s really that simple!

  8. I’m working on this, just making fixing my face into a friendlier expression, an open smile. Also just taking good care of my clothing and makeup/hair helps both internally and how strangers react to a more put together appearance. Standard attractive women sometimes come off as threatening or cold, what I mean is bone structure isn’t the end all be all of how people perceive someone.

  9. If you are at least mildly attractive as a woman men will overlook a lot of your quirks. Now something a lot of women don’t understand is how to be approachable. You may get attention as an attractive woman but to really open up your options you need to be approachable when you want to be approached. This encompasses multiple social skills. You need to be inviting, friendly, and open. This also doesn’t mean you are a pushover or anything like that just that you are comfortable engaging with someone outside yourself.

  10. Etc. Etc. Someone will love you for who you are etc. Etc.

    But What’s your fashion style like?

  12. Im average men slim in the body department but with a hottie. I tried my luck 6 years ago. Goodluck

  14. Yeah I couldn’t tell you. It’s only the women I actually like that think I’m creepy, same boat here.
    Probably a subconscious thing.

  15. Find solace in subcultures where looks and status are not the primary things.

    There are some neat people out there who don’t place everything on outward appearance, but more-so who people are and what they stand for.

  17. Lmao what!? Socializing is about playing games of cues. You’re only creepy until you’re not. You are (within a short period of time) making a sale of yourself, basically convincing someone that you’re not a weirdo. You don’t avoid being creepy, you demonstrate that you’re not.

  21. Lovecraftian🤔 I’ll admit I’m intrigued. Might I be so bold as to ask if I may be permitted to see your smile?

  23. From your description I’d love to see your face!

    There’s different things you can do to break the ice or introduce yourself. Loan a smoke buy an energy drink offer them alcohol or food. Just say hi or wave. Sometimes it’s easiest to but at the truth go hi my name is x and I think you’re cute or your outfit is cool or that bag is nice.

    One of my best moments was a girl said she liked one of my graphics tees I was wearing and she talked to me. I normally don’t get approached so for me that was instant attraction lol.

  24. Dont talk to yourself that way. Also, Alan Rickman is very charismatic while also not conventionally attractive

  25. I’ve seen your face on amIUgly – you’re really attractive and I’m not apologizing for it.

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like