Mom of 2 young children, wife of 3 years. We’ve been together for 6 years. He put effort into the sex in the beginning but now isn’t. I’m the one giving a bj every time, and I’m the one getting on top doing all the work. I’ve never had an orgasm with him. I know it’s different when the kids are little but in our situation I’m a single parent that’s married. I’m frustrated but I know it could be from the lack of sleep. He gets to sleep however long he wants. I do everything for him and the most I get in return is hard nipple pulls, butt slaps and maybe a finger inside me.
So what would you do if you were me?
18 comments
Yeah tbh
Why can’t you tell him the truth? Afraid to hurt him? What about you? You’re human and want to be wanted too! You want to be caressed and loved by him. There’s nothing wrong with telling him what you want or need. You can say it lovingly without causing him to feel uncomfortable. Mom of 3 here. Also a married single parent lol
Is he the father of your children? Being a “married single parent” would bother me enough to divorce on its own, I also wouldn’t want my children to grow up thinking it’s acceptable to treat other people or allow yourself to be treated that way. Not having an orgasm in 6 years would also be enough on its own for a divorce, for me. Does he just not care about you in any way? What are you even getting out of this relationship…?
If nothing changes with you trying to talk to him. Try introducing a fwb. It will allow you to fulfill your sex desires and give your kids a loving home. I’ve seen it work.
Ask him if you can have sex with someone else since he no longer puts effort into your pleasure.
You need to decide if you can live this way for the rest of your life with him. If not, divorce. If you think you can work it out with communication maybe try a counselor. Either way it’s your decision, for me I’d divorce them.
> I know it’s different when the kids are little but in our situation I’m a single parent that’s married.
Your issues are beyond the bedroom. If he doesn’t participate in the marriage as an active partner, then that should be your primary focus. Ask him to go to marriage counseling with you. If he refuses, then you should go by yourself. Therapy will help you prioritize your life, which will help you make better decisions going forward.
I would have a serious, sit down discussion where you let him know that you love him and value your marriage, but your sex life needs to improve or your future is in jeopardy. If he’s at all receptive, I would try reading books about sexuality, especially female sexuality together and discuss them. I would also try to get into marriage counseling. The bad sex goes hand in hand with the emotional disconnect that you have. Personally I would make an effort to try to get him on board as your partner to fix the problem together. You’ve got kids so it’s worth a try if he will buy into it.
6 years and no orgasms? 3 years married means 3 years of no orgasms before you married him. Why did you marry him?
Make the decision carefully. I know where this road is headed if you stay with him. Myself and many other men and women are in sexless marriages. Every divorce is a broken family. Your children will suffer. They’ll also suffer because the two of you aren’t united with a bond that only a healthy sex life can provide. You’ll need to decide. I’ve almost filed twice. The idea of what alimony will do to me financially always pulls my away from the edge.
I get the feeling of rejection, lack of emotional connection, lack of trust and sexual frustration. I’ve felt it for years now. I’ve been married for 16. Wife was never that into sex. In the beginning we only had sex about once a week. Twice if I begged incessantly. Then the frequency became less and less. After a couple years she stopped accepting my advances when I tried to initiate. Then a couple years after that she told me to stop trying. I tried once more but when she said I was practically forcing myself on her(I wasn’t) I stopped. We’ve only had sex twice in the last 6 years and she starfished me both times. I hope that your situation does not turn out as bleak as mine. Luckily I recently found a supportive Facebook group of other sexless spouses. It helps
Have you thought about offering some guys at your job sex? Most affairs are with coworkers . I’m sure you could offer yourself to janitor , coworkers,supervisor. I know it sounds bad but it will save your marriage . Imagine how good it’ll feel to do it with somebody new that wants to ravage you . You could send em nudes while at work and build that tension . Just offer a married coworkers oral sex or sex , I guarantee they will all say yes married or not 🤔
Personally, yes, if he’s unwilling to compromise. This is something I talked with my fiance about awhile ago. Hey if something happens are you willing to compromise so we’re both feeling fulfilled. I love him and want to stay with him but sex is very very important to me. So it’s like what can we do to make this work. We’re not at that point but just something we discussed early on in terms of comfort levels with potentially opening things up if that’s an issue.
Teach him how to make love to you.
I’d stop being the one who gives everything. He’s a selfish prick and you’ve coddled and spoiled him. Time for a little tough love. If he’s not willing to put in some time and effort to learn to please you (and tell him he’s never satisfied you), then you’re not either.
Yes.
God marriage is such a scam
How long has this been going on?
Communication is important in all aspects of a relationship. Especially intimate desires. Just be open and honest. Have a wonderful day ☀️
Demand better treatment, in the bedroom and out.
Communicate your needs to him, including child care, cleaning the home, and your sexual intimacy needs.
At this point in your relationship, forget about his feelings and give him an ultimatum.
Simply put, he steps up or you step out.