I was late to a lecture so I just sat on the first seat I saw which happened to be right beside someone else. I usually just sit wherever because I didn’t think there was any social rule that you can’t? But once I did, the dude beside me cranks his head to directly stare at me, and then he does this every so often throughout the lecture. Towards the end he had to leave early and he politely told me to move. Either this person felt trapped because I sat at the end of the row and knew he had to leave early and me sitting there obstructed the path or I’m missing some social cues and it’s weird to sit beside people you don’t know?

31 comments
  1. I’m not sure. Some people have staring problems lol. If there was an abundance of open space and you sat right next to him, then yeah that’s a bit odd, but I still think him repeatedly staring was unnecessary.

  2. It’s not your job to meet everyone’s approval. The seats are there for you to sit in. You’re good

  3. I’ve been in about one thousand lectures in my life so far. That other dude is weird.

    If he needs to leave early, he should take an aisle seat near the exit and be prepared to make space for other people to get through to the inner seats.

    Aside from that, back rows and any aisle adjacent are fair game for latecomers regardless of who’s already sitting where.

    The right thing to do is for people who arrive early to make sure that aisle seats are readily available whenever possible to accommodate latecomers.

    Latecomers need to disrupt as little as possible so the aim is to get butt into seat as quickly as possible.

  4. Nah, you’re fine.

    People tend to sit as far apart as possible, it’s about time someone came along and stopped caring about it.

    Most people wouldn’t worry about you sitting there. I think you’re right, the other person was just thinking about how to ask you to let them leave.

  5. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with sitting next to someone in a public place like a classroom when there’s nowhere else. However it’s very normal for someone to be irritated if u do. Even if ur not in the wrong

  6. you were already late and that was the first seat available, I don’t see anything wrong. I used to sit beside people I didn’t know in lectures all the time, unless it was a big ass lecture theatre for a small number of people

  7. If there are spare seats with no one next to them then you should use those. I hate feeling trapped in by people but at the same time I would’ve just chosen the isle seat in the first place.

  8. Nah i think your over thinking it, seems like he just wanted a quick seat close to the exit as he needed to leave early. I don’t think he or you is being ‘weird’ its just a mildly awkward thing I bet he doesn’t even think about it.

  9. I wouldn’t care about what he thinks of you. He is in the wrong here. You’re fine. He is the one with a problem.

  10. Sounds to me like that other person has bad social skills. It’s a lecture hall and you can sit where you want. Not sure where you are but speaking from the US here and nobody would have batted an eye to anyone just sitting next to someone when I was in school (2005-2009)

  11. Other guy is an idiot. If you came in late and grabbed the first closest easily accessible seat immediately then you did exactly what you were supposed to do. No reason for him to make a big show about staring at you when he’s supposed to be listening to the lecture in the first place. Hell, the third time dude fixes his head to stare at you just stare right back until he says something. But that might be a bot advanced for this sub lol.

  12. You did nothing wrong. You didn’t do anything intentionally. One thing I’ve learned with boundaries and mental boundaries is it’s others jobs to tell you if they’re upset with you, not you trying to read someone’s mind. I say don’t even worry about it for one more second and just keep doing you.

  13. If there was ample space then yeah but it sounds like you took the only reasonable seat to avoid disruption

  14. dont give it much thought you did nothing wrong. As long as you dont stink and not blocking vision, it’s fine.

  15. Were there more free sits available?

    To be honest, I did hate it if someone sat next to me at uni

  16. It’s perfectly ok to sit next to a stranger in a meeting or conference. It wasn’t you unless you were making noise or smelled bad.

  17. No this isn’t a social rule. There are no social rules – you need to read the room.

    I live in a country where you absolutely often take the empty seats first in the train, but even then that’s not a social rule.

    You did nothing wrong, this person also needs to communicate their discomfort. Sometimes it’s the other person lacking social skills.

  18. That dude is weird, don’t let him make you feel bad. You didn’t do anything wrong and it’s normal to sit next to other people. When I was in uni and wanted to have no one next to me, I’d sit next to the aisle or I’d put my bag in the chair beside me (assuming there were lots of other available seats ofc). He could have done that if he was going to get so bent out of shape over someone sitting in an available seat next to him.

    Also, I met most of my friends in uni because we ended up sitting next to each other. Very normal 🙂

  19. Nope if you sit near the exit then prepare to sit next to anybody. Entry doors to lecture theatres are often right at the front or back which means people will often just run to the nearest visible empty seats. If there are people I know in the room then I will move during the break if I don’t know anyone or it is a busy event I’ll stay put.

  20. It’s only weird if there’s multiple seats available and you sit in the closest empty seat next to someone you don’t know. Running late to class? valid reason to do what you did. That guy was a jerk.

  21. Were you sitting on his lap?

    If the chair is open, it’s available for sitting.

    This guy was weird.

  22. It’s just the vibe of the room. Some people sort of fill in a line and sit together or a seat apart, other groups end up spacing themselves out. It kinda feels weird when u notice it

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