So growing up I was coddled, my parents are immigrants and my mom would do a lot of house chores for me. Not proud to admit that but my culture is like that. This coupled with me living at home until the ripe age of 25 I feel has stunted my independence. I live with a roommate now and have a career ofcourse, but feel like I don’t work as hard as I should. I’m an electrical engineer at a big construction firm and people here work 40+ hours easily. I feel allergic to overtime and do the bare minimum at my current role to stay afloat. There’s certs and licenses I can acquire, but it’s just not my passion. Am I being immature? I’m a single guy, no kids, no mortgage. Graduated last year with my masters and after so much school I’m navigating this adult life haze. Trying to have high standards for myself and succeed in most realms, but can’t help but feel like I need to grow up.
The line of work I’m in isn’t what I studied in college but I’m salary and it pays well relative to my peers. I know if I stay here long term I’ll be fine. Maybe I’m scared of change? I’ve thought about creating a mission or personal statement about what I want in a career. Just feels like I’m lost in that regard. Growing up my parents knew next to nothing about this country and even less about succeeding in academia. My dad on the other hand was and is still a very hard blue collar worker. Whereas I did not have that gift. Now I’m just tryna salvage this investment. I still love science and engineering but feel like there’s no magic of that here at all construction firm.
5 comments
The fact that you’re even thinking about it is a good sign. Self awareness is critical.
The only advice I can give is that there’s no “magic” in professional life. There will be some great people and a couple interesting projects, but 99.9% of all people toiling away at all the jobs around the world are just trying to put food on the table. And that’s okay. There doesn’t need to be a higher goal than that, and I’ve seen a lot of people burn themselves out on that snipe hunt.
Make a plan. Write some goals. Stick to it. You’ll make some mistakes, but wisdom comes in the wake of failure, so no matter what you do, don’t beat yourself up. Just keep going.
I’m sure it will vary from person to person, but it might be worth taking some time to figure out the answer to the question: “*Why are you going to get your work done today?*”
There’s an exercise that was recommended to me where you go through a list of values ([like this one](https://www.berkeleywellbeing.com/uploads/1/9/4/8/19481349/printable-list-of-values.pdf)) and identify your top values, maybe 3 – 5. It’s not easy and I think it’s an exercise that takes a few weeks of thought and reflection, but if you can figure out what they are (realistically), then you can try to see how your living with those values in your current life. Are you working in alignment with those values? Or are you off balance? At least for me, it was useful to figure out part of what I was missing in my day-to-day and gave me some motivation to work on certain areas.
Also, you could start to think about what small steps or actions you can take to get closer to the life you want in 10 years. You say that you, “. . . still love science and engineering.” If that’s the case, what can you do today, this week, this month, and this year to get closer to that? Are there any certs that get you closer? Are there any networking events that can build your network with people working on the projects you want to be involved in? Every decision brings us closer to who we are becoming, so best know who you want that to be.
Hopefully some of that is useful! The values exercise, considering who you want to be in 10 years, etc have been useful for me. Also, getting enough sleep, exercise, and finding a community in person has been useful in keeping me balanced. Good luck!
A few things:
1) No matter what the job is, how cool the job is, it still becomes a job. You might love engineering, but any engineering job is probably going to dilute some of that love.
2) Because a job always becomes a job, where (and with whom) you work becomes important. Are you surrounded by good people you like to work with? Are you being treated well and listened to? Are you able to maintain a good work/life balance?
3) Very few people are motivated to do the best for the simple fact of doing it. Some external factor is usually involved like money, control, competitiveness, etc. It sounds like, for your parents, the goal was increasing the opportunities for their children.
Based on what is in your post, it seems like money isn’t a major motivator for you. I’d suggest finding a place where the people you are with and the work being done helps you stay motivated through the working environment. A good organization (of which there aren’t many, sadly) should recognize and develop people, especially young professionals. If that’s not happening where you are, see if you can find a better environment elsewhere, even if it might mean less money.
Firstly, I have known a qualified doctor who stayed with his parents until the age of 30 and despite some mild background insecurity about staying at home for that long, no-one really cared and it made him more independent for the long-term if anything.
In the end, it’s your choice whether you decide to work harder, apply yourself, and aim for the highest heights of your career, nobody else is going to do that for you. Forget the notion of “growing up”, that’s a social misnomer.
Sounds like you’ll go through a transitionary phase of your career without your Dad to support your direction. Who knows what you’ll discover…
I think a lot of people go through the same experience when they graduate college or grad school. They ended the workforce and it leaves them wondering, “is that it?”
When you’re a young adult I think the focus should be to learn who you are as a person – both personally as well as professionally. Work hard, ask questions, learn as much as you can and be the best engineer you can. Your future self will thank you.
https://youtu.be/2jIia7aXins