I’m honestly torn right now and have no words. We’ve been talking and went on a few dates, even hooked up once which was amazing. I honestly wasn’t expecting her to message me out of the blue telling me how we should just stay friends. She mentioned why but i feel like it’s for a different reason. The last date we had she mentioned to me how her ex confessed feelings for her after so long. She told me how she thought they were on the same page with being okay with just friends due to the fact she has no feelings towards him anymore and having resentment towards him from him cheating and abusing her emotionally in the past. (They’re also roommates because she can’t afford rent elsewhere at the moment)…
I’m not sure if i’m just overthinking it but I feel extremely stressed. I had hope for this. I really wanted to be with her but she told me how there’s just a lot going on right now and how she feels like she’s “living a crazy double life” with everything going on and doesn’t want to ruin anything between us and how she really likes me and how she doesn’t want things to get “misconstrued” with her not being able to see me anymore due to weather reasons etc.
Can I please get someones opinion? I thought things were going well between us until I got a bunch of those messages… she also said how she still wanted me in her life… but idk i’m so hurt.
7 comments
You will not remain friends. She sounds like a nice, but torn, person. Time to move on
Hold up, she’s roommates with her ex? My brother in Christ, you should’ve shut down any notions of dating right there. Guarantee dude was still blowing her back out. And the fact that she’s friend zoning you in favor of her ex? Don’t fall for it man. Pack her up, kick her to the curb, find you a better woman. Every word she said was an excuse to tell you she likes her ex, she’s on his dick, and you’re being kept around for when shit inevitably doesn’t work out. My words may be harsh, but you need the truth, not to be coddled
Ok this one is easy. Now tune in listen closely. Two parts. Part 1 if you are already having sex with her. Take the W. Its a win. It’s a privilege. But if it’s Part2 and you haven’t been physical with her. Take the L and get outtta there. Why waist your time with someone who’s not into you. SO after you, step back and ponder.which part symbolises your predicament best? And that’s your answer.
It does sound like she’s going through a lot so it makes sense that she doesn’t want more complication and another person that she feels she has to factor into her life.
I would try not to take it personally if you can but I know that’s tough to do.
She seems to think that a friendship would be less difficult to manage but it’s up to you if you are willing to just be friends.
Just drop it and move on. You’ll waste a few years of your life whilst she’s making up her mind, and it may be not in your favour. She could’ve been a bit more wise and not tell you a few things.. but she already put you in a friend zone, so just let her be. There’s someone else out there waiting for you!
There are many fish in the sea. This won’t be your last time going through this. Learn and move on.
Take time to heal and this behavior is like someone who I myself shared a past with.
Your emotions are your own and best I can tell you is to move on and leave her to her situation. It’s her situation and not yours. There is nothing to be done other than regroup your emotions and move on to find someone who appreciates your caring and wants more.