I have a hard time saying no to others, and it’s ruining my life.
I’ve always had trouble denying people’s requests. I just can’t bear to see them disappointed, so I end up taking on everything they ask of me. This has led to me feeling overwhelmed and resentful, and it’s starting to take a toll on my relationships and my work.
I know that I need to learn to say no, but it’s not easy. I feel like I’m betraying people if I don’t do everything they ask of me.
I’m hoping that someone out there can give me some advice on how to overcome this problem. I’m desperate for a solution.
1 comment
1. Practise in the mirror. Literally say “No” out loud, play through some scenarios while fully going through the motions of saying no.
2. Identify specific people and situations where you would prefer to say no. If there’s a specific friend who is always asking for favors, or a family member, or someone at work who is always asking for stuff, it would help if you pre-meditated a boundary that you’re not going to “check their homework” or “just do these forms” or “pick this up for them”.
3. When you are put on the spot, take your time. When someone makes a request of you, stop and think about it. Don’t answer right away, even if you’re going to say yes. “Let me think about it a moment, I might have other stuff going on” “I’m a little busy, maybe later” even just a knee-jerk reaction of “maybe” or “I don’t know”
4. You might have some self-esteem issues. My favorite book on self-esteem is The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden. The sentence completion exercises are very effective