My [19M] boyfriend [18M] has ruined my life

As the title says, I am having trouble coping with my boyfriend which has led to unfair hatred. Mind you I’m very gullible and came to reddit only after being suggested it by a friend when he was talking about it helping him. I don’t have much social media other than for school or family, but I need public help this time and I’m hoping on civil love for this one. I have always been a very emotional person (I have autism and so its just how I process things) and my boyfriend has always been a very stone cold person when it comes to negative emotions. Due to that we have many problems working out differences. I am the ‘lets talk it out therapy session’ type and he is more like ‘I don’t trust you with my emotions and would rather go to anyone else’. I understand that he has problems he doesn’t understand. That he falls victim to generational trauma and takes it out on me, because that’s the only love he’s ever known. But, I was raised to talk about our feelings and get it all out there. And some of the things he says make me uncomfortable. He says that I am a crybaby. He flirts with girls, which he says isn’t cheating bc its a joke and they are friends. He has commented on my body which caused me to relapse on my eating disorder. And he has made me feel unattractive by commenting how much prettier I’d be if I just dressed femininely. Since then, I’ve started dressing up for him. I think its okay because its not something I mind, but once I start thinking it makes me sad. I know that you change when you’re in love but I feel like I’ve given more than I’ve got. I now wear makeup and scandalous clothes in attempt to make him (and other guys bc of the lack of attention) think I’m pretty. I want to be on the level of those pretty girls he flirts with but I’m a strong, masculine, nerdy dude that will never be good enough for him. I’m starting to think neither of us are ready for a relationship. He really makes me feel like he wants a girlfriend and not a boyfriend. He has made me entirely insecure in myself and for the first time in my life I am utterly and entirely depressed. Am I just not ready for a relationship or does he need to calm down and talk to me?