I am having a hard time with making friends. This is my first year in college and this is semester I haven’t even made one friend. Through high school i haven’t my any friends and I want this year to be different. I tried to go up or sit next to someone and start up a conversation but they don’t seem that interested and don’t keep the conversation going. I sometimes believe that maybe something is wrong with me and couples months later it feels like I was invisible. It gotten to the point where I make fake friends in my mind and start a conversation with them and there is something that I don’t realize that I am talking to myself. I can’t stop it. I have the most comfort with talk to myself than talking to people. What should I do? Should I hire someone to slap the shit out of me lol?
2 comments
Shared experiences is the key, join things, sports, clubs, etc. I read something that it can take 20 hours of interaction to consider someone an acquaintance.
Here are my top 4 suggestions when choosing who to hang out with and who to call your friends:
1- Do you have the same or similar morals and vision for life? If you like to hang out in libraries and enjoy peaceful nature, it is going to be very difficult to be friends with people who regularly drink, do drugs, gossip, spread negativity, etc. Ask them what they do during their off-school hours or during the summer months.
2- Do you like each other? When people have that, they feel comfortable spending more time together.
3 – What are the benefits for you, and does it make your life better? Relationships are a two-way street, so know what you are good at and how it may benefit others. Maybe you are good at math and terrible at other subjects. Trade. Offer to buy what you need and/or sell your skills. You may be very surprised how many students are suddenly willing to pay you to do their homework.
4 – Do you often feel like you have to compete with them in many aspects? For example, two male friends who compete for one female are no longer friends. Friends don’t compete, and you can’t buy true friendships. A healthy dose of competition is good, but overall friends are more accepting of you for who you are and simply support each other.
Hope this gives you some direction!