Continously being ignored and treated with indecency by women

18 comments

1. brother, you’re never going to be happy if you’re relying on validation from women.

   I think it’s time to self reflect, get to the root of why.

   why are you giving women who are strangers, so much power over you?

2. Homie there is a lot here to unpack but it is beyond Reddit’s paygrade. Please seek professional therapy. No woman is going to or should treat you like your mom does. That’s the biggest red flag I read in a sea of red flags.

3. Can you give an example of this lack of ‘common respect or decency’?

4. I find most people treat each other with indifference. This is nothing unusual

   Can you give some examples of your being treated with indecency?

5. It’s hard to understand exactly what you think these women are doing to hurt you. Most women are just going about their business, living their lives and not paying much attention to strangers.

   Maybe they’re nervous about an upcoming interview, or they have a stomachache, or it’s their dad’s birthday and they need to find a present. They’re running around doing these things, just busy with normal human life. Women aren’t trying to ignore or hurt anyone, they’re just focused on their own worries, the same as you.

   The best way to deal with your feelings is to speak to a mental health professional. They can provide a neutral, non-judgmental space to talk, and help you get to a place where you’re not worried about random women any more.

6. If it smells wherever you go, check your shoes for shit.

   It’s how you treat them.

7. OP’s history speaks for itself.

8. This is going to be hard to hear, but women don’t owe you anything beyond expressing common socially acceptable norms of being polite. That’s it, full stop. No one is owed attention from the opposite sex by virtue of existing.

   If you don’t want to be an incel, you will need to change your patterns of thought. From the tone of your post this will likely be difficult to do, but it’s necessary.

9. Usually, this is the result of conceiving women as some sort of strange creatures that are not the same sort as you, which is to say not human beings. Maybe you put them on a pedestal. Maybe you consider them as objects to be pursued. Most likely you’ve come up with some sort of idea that keeps you from seeing each woman as the individual human she is instead of a monolithic class.

   Edit: Women don’t owe you kindness or sex or anything, really. They are just people going about their business. How are you trying to connect?

10. On what occasions did that occur? Who were these women? Were you dating them, or were they just random women?

11. Stop listening to incel pundits. Make friends without romantic or sexual expectations. Work on yourself. Respect women as people, not targets.

12. This world class incel trolling. Well done. Now please get help.

13. You sound like the next school shooter.

    Look, if a bunch of women reject something, it means there is something wrong with that thing.

    You aren’t owed attention or anything, and it seems you’re disappointed that you’re not getting it. It isn’t your disability, it’s something else. Whatever that is, you’ll be a better man outright.

14. You are not entitled to a woman’s attention.

15. > Women are treating me with overt to covert indifference.

    That’s the default state for interpersonal relationships, regardless of gender. Why should they treat you differently?

16. Oh bud, I think you’re projecting. You don’t say much here about what you expect and how the people you encounter are treating you with “overt to covert indifference”.

    Examples?

    In your mind, how would it look if you were happy / treated well?

    It sounds like 1. You need some real friends and 2. You need to do some work to help others and kick your compassion / empathy into gear.

    You mention a disability preventing you from working, but you don’t say what it is or how you’re prevented from doing what work.

    The reason that matters is bc if you have a mental health issue / disability that could be impacting your perception of the world and other people. It’s far more likely the people around you are not treating you poorly, but that your brain is perceiving normal behaviour as negative.

    You are not entitled to anyone’s friendship, company, a spouse etc, so the best way to make friends and build relationships is think about what you have to offer and start supporting others. Do you have a good sense if humour? Can you volunteer? Participate in organized group activities?

    The way to get people to treat you well is to treat others well, to give without expectation of reciprocation, and to approach life with openness and generosity.

    My concern for you is it seems you’re religious and many religions have very bad advice for men and women about how to behave. It’s possible you have expectations that are toxic for you and anyone else in a relationship with you, and that could be putting people off.

17. Journaling is great, crying is healthy, praying is healthy. But without action, those things are useless. Journaling should be a way to go over your life and help develop self awareness. Crying helps to modulate emotions. Praying helps with love and support.

    Take a good hard look at yourself and make changes where you can. Seek professional help for the things you want to change but are having trouble on your own.

    Without having any examples of the interactions you have with women, we are unable to help you there. But in my opinion, your mindset is not great. Other people should not be having this much of an effect on you. If you treat them nicely and they are mean, that is on them.

18. If every person you meet is an asshole, you are likely the asshole.