My friends who don’t drink that much do get worried about me and it seems like I’m the heaviest drinker out of them all. I’ve also been told I get meaner and ruder as the shots keep coming so I’m a bit worried but tbh one night of drinking after working all week is what keeps me sane

37 comments

  1. any alcohol is somewhat toxic (at least in terms of cancer risks)

    8-10 shots weekly on Fridays is grossly excessive imo

  3. I wouldn’t worry about the health implications (yet), but look at it like this – your friends are worried enough to say something, and you know your personality changes for the worse. Two good indicators that it’s time to cut back. You can still have a Friday night drink, but cut back or change to something that doesn’t impact you so badly.

  4. I wish I had partied that much at your age.

    Now I’m 37 and miserable.

    But I have a solid career and make twice what I need. And I’m relatively healthy – I’m not fat, and all my organs work great.

    So, pick your poison, I guess.

  5. You buried the lede.

    If you had said, “My friends tell me I get meaner and ruder as I drink. Should I drink less?” the answer would be a *resounding*, “Yes!”

    If you’re a mean drunk, drink less. And spend time figuring out what’s bothering you. Alcohol doesn’t make everybody mean, it reduces their inhibitions, so they’re more likely to act out in whatever way they’re feeling. Being a mean drunk means you have some issues to deal with, and that you’re currently dealing with them by ignoring them and then taking them out on your friends.

    If you continue to treat your friends badly on a weekly basis, you will find yourself without friends.

  6. Yeah that’s a lot. You should be concerned that your friends are saying it changes your personality in a negative way. Being mean and abusing people while you’re drunk keeps you sane? That’s a major red flag for a drinking problem.

  7. So that’s 15 ounces. Which is over half of a 750ml bottle in one evening. That’s too much at any age.

  8. Sorry I’m not a man. But if your friends are worried and you also change in behavior this much then it’s time to cut back, definitely. Alcohol can be fun but even if you’re so young and may not feel health consequences now you might be setting yourself up for terrible habits in the future and it’s not worth it. It really is a horrible habit to have, so bad for you :< remember alcohol is literally poison from spoiled food and stuff hahahahah

    Also you build resistance by drinking up, so cutting down will decrease your resistance and “need” for alcohol to get drunk, and your wallet will thank you too! No one is saying stop drinking all together, just do it well. Swap heavy drinks for beer or wine, or give yourself a limit. Maybe beer/wine and a shot or two at the end of the evening if you enjoy them so much (?) if you want you can set a limit of drinks and ask your friends to help you respect it. Or track it with an app (?) you do you but just take care of yourself ♥️

  9. yes, you should be worried.

    stop drinking alcohol completely, until you’re able to handle it better.

    stick to water or sprite.

  10. It is trending towards being excessive. I would be worried if you feel you can’t skip a Friday. I would be even more worried if you start drinking on days besides Friday. Maybe do every other Friday?

  11. Yeah, that’s too much to do every week.

    Nothing wrong with winding down on a Friday night with some drinks, but pace yourself. You don’t have to go hard EVERY weekend. Maybe switch to something other than shots some nights – beer or coolers or anything you’re not going to be racing to finish.

  12. Yes. Dial it down before you hurt somebody- or yourself. Try working out or a physical activity to keep yourself engaged and focused.

  13. It’s definitely binge drinking, and is bad for you. Most people would be absolutely shitfaced (depending on the timeline of course), and have a nasty hangover to boot.

    But they key here is it makes you mean and rude. That means your drinking is causing international conflict, which is one of hallmarks of alcoholism. Not saying you are an alcoholic, but it is something to be aware of

    Look, most of us binge drank at one point in our lives. I know I did. I’m sure I drank 8-10 shots in one night multiple times, but it I felt like absolute garbage afterwards and learned my lesson. Every Friday is extremely excessive. This will definitely catch up to you sooner rather than later. I’d like recommend trying to moderate your drinking. If you want to get drunk every once in a while, fine. But maybe try drinking beers/seltzers or other things with a lower ABV between shots

    TLDR; yea it’s an unhealthy amount to drink and is causing interpersonal conflict

  15. “One night of drinking after working all week is what keeps me sane” is a big red flag for me. Alcohol shouldn’t be a coping mechanism for stress, especially at your age. That’s the kind of chemical dependency that gets a lot worse as you get older. I’d address that in therapy.

  16. dont be that person at a bar or any other place to imbibe where you cant control your emotions. that shit is a buzzkill for anybody around you.

  17. There is no “age” when it comes to alcohol. 8-10 shots is way too much for any age.

  18. That’s textbook alcohol abuse. And at such a young age, there’s a terrifying likelihood that it will only get worse as you age.

    Cut back. Show yourself you can, and stick to it. If you find that difficult to do, seek help.

  22. Fuck off. Honestly at this point the most exciting thing about being 39 is I can join r/AskMenOver40 and avoid this god damn non stop existential “my life… “ questions 😂😂.

    Also at 19… probably not? Every Friday? What do you guys do on Saturday? 😂 Does it involve whiskey? Todays Monday… when was your last whiskey shot? Was it Friday? You’re fine. Was it under ten minutes ago? It was wasn’t it? It for sure was 😂.

  23. Here’s the deal. The amount of drinks may seem excessive, but I’ve been there and it’s fairly common for people your age, but the fact that your friends are mentioning it as being bad is an absolute red flag. There’s a lot of stuff that happens when you’re drinking at that age that aren’t really a big deal, but I never had to talk to someone about their behavior. You need to cut the drinking down until you can get a handle on your emotions.

  24. It’s likely that if you have to ask, it’s too much. If you’re posting online about whether you are drinking too much, you suspect it might be too much. If you suspect it might be too much, it probably is too much.

    Quitting drinking now will improve your life.

  26. Interesting that you posted this question to this sub. I’m not sure if any of my age 30+ peers can even handle that many shots anymore so that is gonna skew your responses, and I know I could hit it harder in college that I can at the ripe age of 36. You’re 19 so you’re in a different boat than pretty much everyone else here.

    But to answer your question. If it makes you turn into an asshole then it’s too much, but IMO that doesn’t make you an alcoholic who should never touch the stuff. Go enjoy your youth and have some fun, and in the process you’ll hopefully learn how much is too much and that you need to draw the line somewhere. If you’re still doing 8-10 shots when you’re in your mid 30’s then that’s a different story.

  28. I realized long ago that instead of spending my time, money, and energy trying to numb myself to a life I hate, I should spend my time, money, and energy trying to build a life I don’t hate.

  29. I did the same more nights than that at your age and turned out OK—it definitely doesn’t have to be a problem, but if people are telling you it is, then it might be for you. If you need a weekly escape, try evening the experience out with something else such as THC or an upper to address the mean/rude situation. There are far more things than solely whiskey to try when the stress burns your brain just like acid raindrops.

  30. Nobody likes a mean drunk. You’re on the wrong path, if I were you I’d stick to non spirits. A close friend was fine drinking wine and beer, but once he drank liquor he was a cruel bastard.

    Change your habits now while you can.

  31. So many dramatic answers here, holy hell. Bro you’re a kid going for drinks with your friends on a Friday. It’s fine. It’s okay. It’s normal.

    Is it healthy? No ofcourse It’s not. Is it too much? Obviously it’s too much! Is it okay? Yes, of course it’s okay! You’re a kid having fun, it’s fine!!!

    Make sure you don’t let it get out of hand and maybe try to figure out why you’re acting like a dick. But honestly if a little Friday night blow out is what you’re doing for fun with friends, it’s fine.

  32. Nobody likes a mean drunk. They often wind up in jails and hospitals and other places where nobody wants to go visit them. I very strongly recommend that you determine the minimum amount of alcohol it takes to push you over the line between relaxed and mean. Then subtract one drink from that and never exceed that limit within 24 hours.

    I quite enjoy a good buzz (and I’ve never been a mean drunk, AFAICT), but I’ve also come around to accepting that alcohol is not actually physically healthy, and that exceeding a 1 drink/day average is probably not sustainable long term. If you can enjoy it within those limits or less, you may be rewarded with an extra decade or more of health a half century from now. Which, as it turns out, matters. Is quite cool, in fact, and will suck to miss out on.

  33. If you turn into an asshat when you drink you should definitely not drink as much.

    But maybe change the drink, maybe it is the shots.

    Some drinks have different effects on how you are when drunk than others. I have experienced this, but have no idea why. I stick to beer these days. If I have spirits it’s cocktails, or G+T. I am much more sociable with these rather than whiskeys, bourbons.

  34. It’s way too much of you want to make something out of your life.
    Rise above your peer group. You will be so much happier

  35. I’m older (52), and have quite a bit of experience with “mean drunks”.

    ALL of the people I knew when I was younger who were mean drunks became full fledged-alcoholics. In my family, both my brother and father were mean drunks. My dad is dead, and when I emptied his home I found 5 large (1500ml) bottles of rum and vodka in his pantry and 3 more bottles in the trunk of his car. My brother has been hospitalized multiple from severe alcoholic withdrawal symptom that caused brain bleeds and month long intensive care unit stays as well as months long rehabilitation where he had to learn fine motor skills like learning how to talk and walk. He has also spend a long time in prison due to his drunk driving infractions. He’s probably lost/spent half a million, to a million dollars or more, in his life due to alcoholism. He’s only not homeless because our grandmother bought him a $10k house in Flint, MI. But he’s almost lost that house four times due to not paying his property taxes which my dad, when he was still alive, would bail him out on. I haven’t had any contact with him since just after our dad died in 2021, and I have no desire to ever have contact with him again. Not a single family member has any contact with him.

    Don’t be like the mean drunks I know.

  36. If one night of drinking is what keeps you sane you need to fix that. Find a better way to cope because this is not sustainable.

  37. As a former 19yo who drank whiskey like it was a competition, slow it down. It can get out of control and turn into something worse. But you also will look back at those years from the perspective of everyone around you and realize how much it sucks to hang out with you.

    Get a handle on the mental side of it, because your are essentially knocking yourself out one night a week rather than experience anything.

    Physically, it’ll takes it’s toll. I spent most of my 20s drinking close to blackout every time I drank. Paired with a gf that drank even more. I didn’t wake up and get out of that relationship and lifestyle until I was 30. I now occasionally have a cocktail or a glass of wine, but I am able to stop. She is on the wait-list for a new liver at 36.

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