A guy (26M) was overwhelmed for the second time in a month by talking to my overly energetic and happy, cheerful self (24F) that he has taken a 2 week break to stay away from me. He says he has this exhaustion problem only with me. We text only at night for an hour or lesser. Even if I’m exhausted after a long day, when I start talking I keep on talking. I have to be terribly exhausted to say good night and go to bed without talking at all. Despite having occasional mod swings, I understand that my energy levels are higher than most adults my age, and I’m as frisky as a lamb yet.

I don’t think I can change this nature, but I’m also worried that I’ll keep on scaring men off because a guy friend told me that even I wouldn’t like myself if I had to date myself. I love this energetic nature of mine, and how happy I am. Is he right? Does this mean I won’t ever find a man to date? I’ve never been in a relationship yet, so I’m worried.

16 comments

  1. *I love this energetic nature of mine, and how happy I am. Is he right?*

    Given that you’ve never been in a relationship, I’d say he’s right, and you’re…kind of wrong.

  2. Don’t be too hard on yourself! A lot of guys are intimidated by energetic women so the problem might not be you! Just take it slow and let a guy get to know you before scaring him off.

  4. Energetic in what sense? I’m a fairly mellow person by most standards but I like people who are lively as it balances me out. If you mean in the sense that you can’t sit still for 5 minutes then I can see how it could be tiring, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be in a relationship.

    If you make yourself less to please someone else then you won’t be happy. Finding the right person for those of us who are eccentric just takes a little bit more time, but when we find the right people it’s often much more rewarding.

  6. If you’re being your 100% authentic self, then they’re not the right one for you. You know who is? Someone who will love your outgoing energy fueled personality. That simple. Move on to the person that will love you for you.

  7. You’ll find so.eone. I surely have, and I am also extremely bubbly, optimistic, cheerful, and don’t even experience depression. It’s hard to find someone who can enjoy our light if they’re a negative person. But, there are people who can enjoy our light. Someday, someone will cherish that part of you. Just be patient.

    P.S. this guy isn’t worth your time. Dump him. If he’s so exhausted, he can be miserable by himself.

  9. When you find the right person it’ll be one of the things they’ll love most about you. Keep being you.

  11. I dated someone who was always bubbly and energetic and happy and while she was a great person, we weren’t a great fit. I actually found it would often sap me of energy being around her. Not sure why. I read some people saying this guys ‘toxic’ etc but really, not everyone meshes well with people like that, for whatever reason. It doesn’t mean he’s toxic or miserable, etc. it just means they get energized in different ways. No need to shame someone for not matching your energy levels.

  12. Energetic can come across as immature and childish depending on a few things, although i havent text a woman in years so i could be wrong lol

  15. Energetic and optimistic are good, BUT you need to make sure the other person has an opportunity to participate in the conversation.

    If you find that you are doing more than 60 or 70 percent of the talking, try this: stop talking after making a point, and count to 10. If the other person starts talking listen and wait patiently for your turn again. If they dont say anything that’s your green light to carry on.

  16. You seem like a pretty positive person.

    What about your energy do you think is scaring men off?

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