Me and my ex lived together for 1.5 years, relationship lasted for two years. The relationship was beautiful and we loved and cared for each other. Two weeks ago she confessed that she had kissed another guy and dumped me, turned into a cold monster, she went out with the guy the very next day. My first week was hell,i was shocked and i couldn’t eat, i cried a lot and couldn’t sleep, couldn’t do anything. I also went full no contact the day she broke up with me and even got rid of the pictures because i want to heal and move on with my life. But at the moment for the past weeks or so, i have taken a lot of time for myself, ive been a lot with friends and family, talked about everything what happened , doing school stuff and saying yes to everything, going to the gym, eating healthy and it feels alright. It was my first relationship and i have realized that, i had lost myself completely. I can sleep normally, sometimes i see her in my dreams but nothing too crazy. I still think about her a lot, sometimes get small mood swings and the memories make me sad, but i just start thinking about all the stuff i didn’t like in the relationship( bad sexual chemistry,my family thought she was cold and she had somewhat bad influence on me and so on) and it goes away.Is it normal that im doing alright( for about 5 days now, haven’t had any major step backs )? I know i still need some time to heal but the future doesn’t seem so bad.
31 comments
I feel as If it is not only normal – but optimal.
you did everything you could to heal and you did.
my man you are just fine!
The trash took itself out. Get back on track and get your head right.
Yeah dude, you got this, just think the new guy got a cheater.
Because that’s what everyone wants to have in a relationship 🤣
Focus on you and enjoy and have a great life.
Seems like you got healthy self-preservation and coping skills and are not the type to linger for long. Congratulations. Keep it up!
She did you a favour !!
Wishing you the best , OP
You’ll be fine.
Post breakup, especially when you’re young, is a good time for self-reflection. Take some time to think about who you are, what your values are, and what you want in a partner. Then analyze the woman you were just in a relationship with. What did you like about her? What behaviours, values, beliefs did you not like about her? This will help you find someone who is more compatible with you in the future.
Nah man you’re good. It just means you’re happier now and the relationship ending was the right thing. Nothing wrong with that at all!
I went through almost the same break up except we had been together 8 years and she waited a week before sleeping with the guy she left me for lol it took me longer to get over it but all these years later I’m still so happy it ended! You’re already there and that’s awesome man!!
Enjoy your freedom!!
She will be back, be strong my brother
You’re doing great. Stay the course.
Sometimes, distance causes nothing but heartache and misery.
Sometimes, distance gives you a bit of perspective.
Looks like the perspective you have is preventing you from feeling heartache and misery, which can only be a good thing.
Chalk this one up to experience and take a breather before you jump back into dating.
Good luck.
>I also went full no contact the day she broke up with me
My man.
Relax man. I know it hurts but trust me she is going to come back begging for your forgiveness. Then you would have healed and she would be in her worst cos maybe karma got her.
You’re reacting in a manner that suggests that you are mature for your age. Everything you listed indicates a healthy progression towards healing. Especially the part where you listed the negatives she brought into the relationship.
Now, beware. The time will come when she contacts you, wanting to “talk”. Her intention is to rope you back into relationship with her. My suggestion for you is to concentrate on the negatives you listed. By viewing her from this perspective, it will be easy for you to bid her farewell in the permanent sense.
‘Nuff said.
You GMH friend! Keep it running!!!!!!! So many people, myself included have very much trouble moving past infidelity related breaks vs. normal breakups.
Cheers~~
I went through a similar thing back in May, I was with my partner for 14 years, and I raised her biological kid as my own over those 14 years. He didn’t know I wasn’t his biological father until a few years ago. She ended up cheating on me with his biological father, and it tore me apart. I did a lot of similar stuff, the gym, changed my eating, got more involved with my church , and found ways to heal. I still have to see her on occasion because of the kid, and it can still be difficult. Though I am much stronger now than I was in May. The best advice is to remember that there is plenty of time for greatness in your future, but continue to focus on yourself for now!!!
Continue to enjoy your lifestyle that you had before her. Honestly, when I read all the disconnects in the relationship, maybe fate kissed you on the lips when she left you, now you have a chance to find a woman who you match up better with.
Congrats and good riddance.
My advice for everyone who has exited a relationship: take stock of what you liked and didn’t like about the relationship.
Make / update a list of things you want from a partner and relationship. Equally important, make a list of things you don’t like. Include deal makers / deal breakers in each list.
In your next relationship, before you fall in love and stop using your logical brain, review your list and make sure your needs and wants are being met.
Also, to be a good partner, try to do unto them as you’d have done to you.
A good tip for something to put on your list and to do for your partner:
** My partner pays attention to and remembers what makes me feel good/happy/pleasure and tries to learn more in this regard and DOES these things for me.
That one item right there is pretty much half the battle to a healthy relationship.
Yea idk why guys usually in my experience get over the break up faster if their partner cheats idk why it’s a thing but it is.
I was like that as well.
Good luck keep your head up you’ll find a girl or guy or person that respects you for you and won’t cheat
Move on and block on. Be strong and be better you
Keep up the good work keep making great habits like you already did and you will be successful
You’re 22……. get used to it…. it’s a cruel world and love sucks (sometimes).
If all you lost was the woman, you can replace her. Be grateful you didn’t lose a share of your home, pension and future earnings. We live, we learn.
Who cares if it’s “normal”! You’re doing amazing! I’m so jealous of how strong you are ❤️❤️❤️ you’re going to find an amazing partner some day =)
Young love never really works out man.
Theres a reason poverty is correlated with getting married and having kids young.
You feel okay cause it wasn’t true love, but get an std check.
It’s awesome that you’re doing alright. You’re not allowing yourself to stay stuck in the ‘pain body.’
You know your worth and have good self esteem and awareness. You seem to be focusing on the future and not staying stuck in the past. You’re also not questioning yourself. These are all good things and it’s great you’re in this headspace, moving forward!
In my opinion, all it means is that in reality, the relationship really wasn’t as meaningful and significant as you thought it was in the moments. She made a choice and you moving on rather quickly proves that she wasn’t the one for you at all, good luck man!
I’m so proud of you. Good for you. You’ve gotten over the worst of it. Being cheated on is really hard to come back from, I’m glad you’re doing so well. Keep at it man. You’ll find someone worthy. Look closer at the signs being showed to you. Family opinions also help to an extent, so I’ve learned personally
This is the way!
You’re doing everything right brother!
Cutting off contact, getting back to how you used to be, keeping yourself busy. All these are great things to cover up the time you would have spent with her and it’ll help you not feel like there’s a void there that she left. Also focusing on the negatives about the relationship is healthy for you to help you understand that you deserve better. There are 3 billion women in the world, it doesn’t matter how great one seems, if she’s willing to cheat and hurt you, there are better ones out there (a whole lot of them).
Take it from someone who has been through long term breakups before, including something similar, you’re doing all the right things and I’m glad you’re feeling ok, you deserve it!
Keep your head up brother!
just like everyone else said. you’re on the right track. it’s like a breath of fresh air man. you deserve it
You got this bro! After what she did to you, it’s understandable that you are making good progress moving on. I just got out of a 4 month relationship which pales in comparison, I found out she was an escort. She tried to put it back on me by saying she has no other way to make money and that I shouldn’t judge except she hid it from me the whole time! Trash really does take itself out 🤣