Men who gave up on dating, what happened?

39 comments

  2. Mom got sick and I had to take care of her for a good few years.

    If some perfect woman fell out of the sky I might reconsider, but for now the concept of being held responsible for the emotional well-being of another person sounds about as inviting as chewing on broken glass.

  4. I took a good long break from all of it recently. Matched with someone. Immediately we had this rare feeling about each other. Had great communication and flirting. Asked her out on a proper date and she accepted. Even sent each other good night texts the night beforethe date.

    Stood up, unmatched, and ghosted.

    So yeah, that one fucking hurt and I just didn’t want anything to do with any of it for a while.

  7. I realised that people don’t actually “date”anymore. People nowadays just want sex and to fuck around with peoples feelings.

  11. What happened? I started to like myself more, became happier, stopped caring what others think of me, started taking better care of myself, started dressing better, started looking better. Basically became a better human being. Turns out the trick to becoming that eligible bachelor that all the women want is to not want them.

  13. I have made the decision my life is more stable and peaceful without women. All of my dates for the past several years ended for one of the following reasons:

    1. She used me for a foodie date.
    2. She started wanting me to pay some of her bills.
    3. She hid a drug addiction and tried to get me to smoke drugs.
    4. She was rude.
    5. She was engrossed in her phone.
    6. She tried to get me to participate in a threesome with another dude!
    7. She was secretly still married!
    8. She brought her kids on the date.

    I am out for now, I got to recover from the disaster that has been my dating life. My mom had a stroke and needs me to care for her for now, hopefully after she don’t need me, I might give it another try. I try to be optimistic but dam it is a dumpster fire.

  14. Girl broke my heart, took me 6 years to recover and start dating again, another girl broke me again.

  15. Went on some dates and realized I could’ve spent the time and money on almost anything else and would’ve been happier

  16. Everyone I know is in a relationship and doesn’t know anyone I could be set up with so I’m stuck with the dog shit that is dating apps. Dating apps if you aren’t above average looks wise will grant you nothing but disappointment after disappointment.

    Most of the women I’ve met through apps just don’t match my attraction. I’m into hockey and getting out to do stuff but most bigger and chunkier women don’t want to do that so it rarely goes beyond a first date. The onetime it did go beyond a first date I felt like I was forcing myself to spend time and text a person I didn’t really have feelings for simply to be “dating,” which I don’t want to do because it’s not fair to them or me.

    I’ve effectively given up for now as despite being in my mid 20s, I don’t have the patience to deal with the dog shit that is dating.

  17. I met a very special girl, I was very attracted to her, I REALLY liked her as a person and she liked me back. It was honestly one of the best connections I have felt with another person in my life, at 26. I had the best date I’ve ever had with her, just sharing a few beers and talking.

    But, I had to move away and the whole thing never went any further. Since then, I’ve been trying to find something like that, to find her, in someone else, but I don’t think it’s meant to be.

    I cherish what could have been and I am at least content knowing that there was truly a person out there for me, regardless of the fact that we will probably never be together. I am a very “weird” guy, so it’s not very likely that I will ever meet and get feelings for a girl who will like me back.

    I am slowly , very slowly, learning to be ok with that.

  18. I didn’t give up so much as I didn’t really get started. The closest I came was trying a dating app. I sat there for several hours swiping left on everyone before wondering why I was even there. The experience just wasn’t resonating with me.

  19. I realized I was not happy pursuing the women I was attracted to, nor were they decent people. And the times I ended up in a relationship, or as fwb, I felt I was putting in more work than them.

    I find I can be happier being single, instead of over complicating my life with a partner. If the right person comes around then great, but otherwise I’m good.

  20. I’ve only dated three women my whole life. Each one about ten years apart. It’s just not worth it anymore. Online dating has absolutely ruined dating. It gives the impression that there is someone always better. The smallest “ick” will scare anyone off and then they ghost.

  23. I’m not the best looking guy and I don’t have the charisma to make up for it…

    I have been depressed about it for too long so giving up on it completely has given me a false sense inner peace.

    False sense because deep down I know I want to be with someone.

  26. Long term girlfriend died unexpectedly of an unknown medical thing, first woman I dated after that drugged and raped me, and the one that finally caused me to give up was a friend I’d known for many years turned girlfriend. Broke up with me on valentines day via snapchat. I’d taken her out of town for the time of her life, and we had an amazing trip. Got back and she wouldn’t speak to me. Turns out she told our friend group some pretty horrid things about me and I only found out when they confronted me about it a few weeks later. I had receipts proving she didn’t tell the truth, and we all got to comparing notes, and it turns out that she had lied about almost every single thing in the 3 years we’d all been a friend group. She spent every bit of effort she could muster trying to ruin me the last 10 months and and only after sending screenshots and texts to enough people did she quit her shit mostly. That’s why I’m done.

  27. Almost all girls that I’ve interacted with in my life treated me like i don’t have feelings. I do have feelings. And I’m tired of chasing people who don’t appreciate me and who never ever showed any sort of effort to be around me.

  29. I just got so used to being single. I can do anything I want whenever I want. This is a recent choice so I don’t know if I’ll ever backtrack. But right now, I’m learning how to be alone and it’s been good so far. Sometimes I get lonely but at the end of the day, I take my mind off things through my hobbies. It’s comfy. Why ruin what I have with compromises and unnecessary schedules?

  30. Time + energy spent = very little benefits = better things to focus on in life with more value = happier / healthier life

  32. – I have unwillingly (I was unaware) been cheated with (not on) too many times.

    – I have been canceled on day of every time I schedule a proper date.

    – Too many (not all) women want free handouts or added clicks to their social media.

    – I am treated too often as entertainment or a means to pass time vs an actual person wanting to form a connection.

    I am attractive and in great shape. I make good money. I have no problem meeting women out for an evening ONS if I so choose, so there is no reason for me to put up with any of the bullshit that seems to be plaguing not only women, but men as well these days.

  33. The modern, social media saturated, woman has standards that are basically impossible for most men to live up to.

    And it is clear that, with some rare exceptions, the vast majority of women don’t want, or even like, the vast majority of men.

    According to data from dating apps 95% of women find 80% of men unattractive by every blind survey, and by actual data usage (“swiping”, “liking”, and responding to vs ignoring messages) on dating/social apps such as Tinder, OKCupid, Bumble, etc.

    So, for men that aren’t “high value”, that is to say, model good-looking, rich, and/or famous, the best we can do is enjoy our own lives.

    Dive into our careers.

    Be passionate about our hobbies.

    Invest in our own friend groups of men.

    Volunteer our time.

    Focus on self-care.

    Don’t waste our time and energy on pursuing women.

    Certainly don’t waste our money, or risk our career, social standing, or reputation.

    If I have to approach them, that is already my answer.

    The message in our current culture is clear: If a woman is interested in me she will approach me.

    You can read the not at all uncommon horror stories here, from ghosting, to Tik Tok gotcha bait, to “foodie calls”, to being one of a stable of side guys…

    For me, the peace of simply being who I want to be is basically awesome.

  35. I’ve been divorced for almost a decade now, and haven’t had a serious relationship in nearly five years, by choice. After my wife had an affair and divorced me, I then found somebody who I thought was perfect as well. We spent four years together, took vacations, made each other very happy, great sex life, the whole package. Then she got a new job and was screwing her new boss within a month. After that, I pretty much gave up hope – I still go on dates every now and then, but for the most part I just can’t find the motivation to care.

    Why should I invest so much time, energy and devotion into somebody who will likely just end up betraying me?

  38. I hate to use such a tired phrase, but the juice just isn’t worth the squeeze.

    My last girlfriend I really thought was going to be the great love of my life. We knew one another in high school. We were friends, but never dated back then. We reconnected in our early 40’s and hit it off almost immediately. I fell for her hard. I gave her everything I had to give as a partner, a friend, and a lover. I did all I know how to do to keep her happy and feeling fulfilled and loved and cared for.

    And after all that, she dumped me in a text message after 7+ years together. And she did so, conveniently, right as I was going through the hardest time in my recent life. After years of support, I had a few months of weakness and she bailed. So after nearly a decade of supporting her mentally, spiritually, emotionally and even financially in some cases, the minute I had a small dip in my situation it was enough to drop the whole thing.

    I’m sure there are men who can keep a woman happy. But I don’t know their secret and I’m tired of trying to learn. I’m done with it. I won’t ever be part of a couple again. And I’m not someone who believes in “hook-up culture” either. So I’m gonna go it alone from here on out. My happily ever after turns out to just be me keeping to myself and not living for someone else. All in all, it’s not a bad life if I’m honest. I’ve always been good on my own. I enjoy being in a relationship, but I’ve never needed a companion. If I do, I’ll rescue a dog. Canines will stick with you until death, unlike the women I’ve known and partnered up with.

  39. Be me. 6’3”. Athletic. Handsome. 6 figure salary. Decent human with a lot of friends that would back that up. Loyal dog owner. Home owner. Better at putting dinner together than anyone I know. Etc. By almost any fucking rubric you can put on a napkin with pen I’m worthy of at least a date… and I don’t say these things to boast, but to point out that IF I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYONE THEN CERTAINLY A LOT OF US ARE (OBVIOUSLY) HAVING PROBLEMS AND SOMETHING IS THE FUCK WRONG WITH SOCIETY.

    also this comment is not at all indicative of my personality, I’m just trying to make a point

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