If you were skydiving and your parachute failed, what would be some good last words to send to the group chat?

33 comments

1. Cancel my lunch order.

2. delete my history

3. I left a few gold bars in my …

4. “Matt, I fucked your sister.”

   There are 3 Matts in the group chat of our University friend group which we still use pretty regularly. All 3 have sisters who also attended our University for at least 1 year while we were there.

   Should cause just the right amount of chaos.

   Edit:

   I should add that, at least in college, I was probably the last person you would want your sister to sleep with.

5. I think I’m just gonna crash later

6. It’s been real.

7. Bury me with my guitars 🤘🖤

8. So long, and thanks for all the fish

9. “Better Odds Than Marriage… Less Painful Than Divorceeeeeee!!!” SPLAT.

10. Now I’m free…

    Free falling…

11. hey guys just a warning my par-

12. I actually thought I might die not long ago so I texted my friends “I want a comedian in my funeral”

13. Wish you guys are heeeereeeee

14. I’m learning to fly. Progress report coming.

15. At least the casket won’t be too heavy

16. Oh no, not again.

17. “Well, this is it. My desktop password is *420Asslover69*. Somebody log in on my desktop and clear my browsing history. And make sure my tombstone says ‘Here lies Eponymous Titular. He died saving kittens’. I love you all and I’ll be seeing some of you very soon!”

18. It’s not the fall that kills you. Can confirm.

19. Thanks for all the fish

20. Oh nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

21. Ironic that skydiving is my hobby but I’ve never thought of what my last words would be.

    I’d probably just hum Ring of Fire or something.

22. Hey guys, I love you all. I need to let you know that my family has millions hidden at

23. Last one to land has to pick up the tab

24. There’s probably not enough time for this and it likely wouldn’t work but could you guys stack a few hundred trampolines on top of each other?

25. If i don’t survive, tell my wife “hello”

26. Give my broads to Regardway.

27. “Forward this to 10 other people or one of your friends will die suddenly”

28. True story – when my friend was dying (he got ALS aged 37) and he started choking for one last time, his wife told me there was an email on the laptop still being composed to me, and it read ‘well I’m not dead yet…” but he never finished it.

    Miss that guy.

29. If you’ve never skydived, just know that there is basically no chance that you’ll be able to pull out your phone and send a text message while you’re in freefall without a chute.

30. “And what’s this thing coming toward me very fast? So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like ‘Ow’, ‘Ownge’, ‘Round’, ‘Ground’! That’s it! Ground!”

31. Sorry, looks like my calls about to be dropped.

32. Can someone please come and pick me up. Sharing location…

33. Realistically probably some nonsense that my fingers swiped over on the screen while the wind rips my phone out of my hand.