I used to but the past couple of months not anymore. I’m not quite sure why. I *know* he thinks I’m pretty but I just don’t *feel* it. He’s says I’m the prettiest girl in his eyes and I just don’t believe him.
I think it may be the thinks he likes, like girls on instagram or even anime characters. I don’t look like them and I don’t mind if he likes them, but now I just don’t feel like his input has any value on how I feel about my looks because they don’t reflect what he likes.
I spoke to him about it and he got really upset, he kept saying he isn’t doing enough then. I told him I don’t care much about feeling pretty when he compliments me. He kept asking if he’s not enough and I told him he is enough.
Is this something to be concerned about? Physical appearance fades over time anyways, so should it be important? I don’t know how to respond to him about it because it doesn’t seem like a big deal to me. Can someone help me understand why it would be such a big deal?
Tldr: I don’t feel pretty when my bf says I’m pretty. My boyfriend is now upset and thinks that he’s not enough because I don’t feel it
2 comments
I am going through the exact same thing with my boyfriend. Me and my boyfriend have had many problems in our relationship due to his attraction to animated women. It’d take too long to explain it all but long story short he would always chop it up to ” it was a joke ” every-time.
Any time we had these conversations he would also say that he was a terrible boyfriend and sorry.
But the difference is, he does not engage in such things anymore and never got upset for me being upset and insecure after the fact.
If he is getting upset due to your reaction to mistakes he is making, that is a red flag. He should be validating your feelings. And especially stop engaging in animated girls or instagram girls. He is right, he is not doing enough. Because he doesn’t want to. If he cared how it made you feel he would stop.
It is a big deal. He is making you feel insecure. You say you don’t care about his attraction, but do you not care because you don’t care, or do you not care because you are scared how he will react?
I personally don’t love compliments about being pretty. I’ve heard them enough from people who did not care who I am on the inside or how I feel at all. My boyfriend knows it and makes sure that I know that he cares about my feelings and my wellbeing.
I’ve known men who just cared that I was pretty and didn’t give a damn if I was in pain or unhappy. I think what you’re feeling is super valid. Can you ask your bf to express his love to you with different words? If he loves you then it must be about more than just looks, so what else could he compliment about you?