I’ve been talking to this guy that is in my uni for a few weeks now and I’m having a crush on him.
I invited him to go to a concert in a bar with him, but in a friendly way even though I would really want this to be a date… I am very socially awkward, what would your advice be ? What to talk about, how to act at the bar/during the concert, how to flirt ?
30 comments
The best way is to be as direct as possible. Most man even if they notice your hints would not do anything about it as not to be seen like creeps (we would usually put your hints into “I’m delusional” Basket)
So pushing it shortly saying something like “btw it’s a date” Or just telling him you have a crush on him would work… Probably
A few drinks of liquid courage never hurt. Don’t get shit faced of course. If there is a standing area with a crowd get in the middle with him. You will be pressed close together and a bit of dancing to the music and “accidental” body touching along with the booze can go a long way.
You should just…ask him.
If you can find a way to hold his hand, he’ll know it’s a date. If he doesn’t pick up on that hint, he’s probably too dumb to have a relationship.
You should probably just tell him directly you like him or that you could see yourself being more than friends. Best to be direct with guys and they’ll respect you a lot more and feel a lot more comfortable than if you’re making subtle moves and they’re unsure
Men like direct communication. Tell him you like him, why, and ask him out.
I like knowing that it’s a date. The date itself doesn’t much matter, but if I’m on a date with a woman that I find attractive, I’m happy.
Instead of saying “let’s hang out,” say “I would like to go on a date with you.”
It’s much easier to just “hang out” because you are less vulnerable. If it’s a “date,” you don’t even have to do anything differently. Just be yourself, he should take the hint if he knows it’s a date, and whatever is going to happen will happen. It’s just the first step.
When women keep touching me I clue in eventually.
I like to be fed well. So picking the right restaurant is essential for me
You should tell him, most men aren’t very good at picking up on those kinds of hints.
If you want to drop some hints to prepare him for when you do tell him so it isn’t a huge reveal out of nowhere, maybe send him some pics of the outfit you’re gonna wear (not in a sexual way of course, don’t come on too strong), tell him you’re looking forward to spending time with him, just the two of you. Some physical contact around the shoulders and arms, a kiss in the cheek maybe. These may not work completely, but they may make him wonder if there’s something more to this.
This may just apply to me. Ladies when you’re on a date with a guy, stop endlessly talking about your exes.
If you strategize “how to flirt” it’s going to come off more awkward or disengenous and may just ruin the moment and make it feel clunky. Just feel out the moment and have a good time doing you! Only thing I would suggest is to grab his hand and take him places or be touchy and get close. Don’t plan it out just have fun and go with your feeling.
Why do women insist on being as indirect and subtle as possible? It doesn’t work, ladies.
For crying out loud. If you want something or someone, ***just ask***
You have a far better chance of having a positive reaction than if the shoe were on the other foot…
jesus christ…
Men don’t care about formal dating, we do it because women like it so much. You’ve been talking for weeks now just do the ol netflix and chill
You should ask him and to be honest, if he has a brain in his head, he’ll already have an idea that you’re into him after the invite
If you try to play the indirect game, you will lose
Doing an activity — something other than eating or watching something on a screen.
If you are socially awkward I think a good strategy is to take your time. Get to know him, build that sense of comfort and if you enjoy spending time together and keep doing things to hang out eventually something more romantic can happen organically.
There isn’t this window of time where if you don’t start dating the opportunity will just pass – he is either potentially into you or not.
Hold his hand
Just be yourself and act how you feel. If you want to kiss him, go for it. Don’t overthink it. Don’t focus on what to do or say or act. Stay out of your own head.
Text him and ask will he be able to come to the concert/bar “date”.
That does it.
Just tell him it’s a date omg
My best advice is that, if the point of interest is the venue, then it’s just a hangout. Just two people hanging out. If the point of interest is the person, it’s a date.
I don’t think concerts are great for dates, especially a first date. Too busy, too loud. My first date was in a museum, it went pretty good. Just walking around together, lots of talking points, easy discussion, free admission, great gift shop, picture opportunities.
I’d also argue that you don’t need to make it a date if you don’t know each other. You know him better than I do, so take this with some salt, but some men wouldn’t accept a date out of the blue with someone they don’t know. Get to know each other first, then explicitly ask “would you want to go on a date some time?”.
Trying to turn a hangout into a date halfway through is asking for trouble. He might be fine with it, but might not be – he didn’t say yes to a date. Think how you’d feel in the same situation (and not with this guy, but with a friend).
Have fun at the concert and soon after tell him you had fun, you’d like to go on a date with him.
Breathe, take a step back. Do you have friends? Buddies? Pals? What do you talk about with them? Do the same with him.
Ask him questions, get to know him, talk about stuff you enjoy, let him talk about stuff he enjoys, ask him about the stuff he enjoys, tell him you enjoy hanging out with him, that sort of stuff.
OP, do you and your crush a favor. Be straightforward and let him know that you have feelings for him. He is likely not going to clue in on anything less than a concrete statement or gesture that says you like him.
Men don’t want to come off as creeps by assuming something, and will likely avoid pursuing you if they’re unsure.
Well depends…if you asked him as like “he let’s go here as friends” pack it up we’re done. No turning that around unless you suddenly become an entirely different person with the courage to like…completely flip on him and flirt constantly the whole night…that’s not happening.
Now if that’s not the case…then you should probably just tell him you like him. You can do other stuff like make excuses to touch him, hold eye contact, and get in his personal space but…just going to point this out to you…if I go to a club a strange woman wearing next to nothing can grind up on my entire body for almost the entire night, looking into my eyes and even make out with us for a bit…and that doesn’t mean she likes me…that’s the world men live in btw…just. use. your. words.
This is where flirting and complimenting comes in. You have to rizz him up and make him know you fancy him. Sometimes casually dropping ‘I liek you’ is enough for him to know your feelings.
Tickle the balls