I’ve been dating my partner who has his own tattooing business for about 1.5 years. Recently, I noticed he had connected with a woman on insta and when I asked him about it he told me that he met her at the surf shop where he also works and that she was interested in a tattoo. A few weeks later, they got together she got a tattoo and posted on her story that they met surfing.
He told me that he lied to me because he was afraid I would be mad at him. A few weeks later, he told me that he had gotten a new surfboard and didn’t tell me because he didn’t want to make me mad (I’ve never gotten mad about this in the past).
Flash forward to this week- his ex had followed our band page and I had asked him about it months ago. This week, when I asked him a question about his ex, it turns out that he lived with her and they were together for about 2 years ago back in 2009-2011.
We had plans to go to Puerto Rico for the winter and I was going to leave a job that I love. Now I don’t know what to do…any advice?
29 comments
If its meaningful to you then admit it and take the steps you feel are necissary. The bigger elephant in the room is why you would leave a job you love given the circumstances?
So if he was never caught, would he have eventually told you? I don’t think so. This is going to be a judgement call but as the saying goes ” fool me once- shame on you….” If you feel like he’s gonna keep lying about dumb things, maybe there’s more he’s hiding.
Just mentally prepare yourself for disappointment if you’re gonna stay. It’ll be taxing on your conscious but at least it will lesser the blow. Have you ever asked why him and his didn’t work out?
Those things are definitely fishy and this fear he seems to have about sharing info with you. Sounds like he knows he’s doing something wrong. I would confront him directly and express your concerns. Especially if you are thinking of leaving your job, you need answers and if he can’t give them then that’s all you need to know.
If you don’t have trust, what do you have?
>I was going to leave a job that I love
It can be really hard to find a job that you love. I think you should think long and hard about leaving the one that you found.
If he’s lying and hiding bcuz he thinks you’ll get mad, he’s already headed down the rabbit hole.
He knows what he is doing is wrong
I’d cut ties-without any explanation
He knows exactly what he did
( u didn’t witness it-that is irrelevant)
You’ve seen what You’ve seen with your own eyes and You’re here so u have already noticed the red flags.
You’re looking for support and reassurance
You have mine💯
…look into my comments on my profile
U’ll get a taste of where ur life will be heading in the future of you don’t save yourself the trouble now
It’s a lot easier to leave a BF than it is to get out of marriage….. And Do Not Leave Your Job
Tell him. Be honest. Be prepared for a break up.
Yeah if the guy was worth it he wouldn’t make you feel this way. Especially if you tell him this and he doesn’t apologize
It all depends on you and how you feel. Don’t force yourself. Just be painfully honest and if you loves you or cares about you and then you should be understanding. But remember we are human beings. It is natural to get upset, angry, and say things we don’t mean to say or mean to hurt you. We are vulnerable and fragile inside even though we may not show it. Believe me you will feel good. Remember communication is very important in any relationship
Tell him how you feel that you’re unhappy with his lies and that you’re not his enemy
Tell him also that you going to be there for him no matter what. Just be honest
Please keep in mind he’s a tattoo artist. That means they’re the rock stars and live. The rockstar life lies will pour in
So he’s been lying by omission. Him lying should be enough to end the relationship. What else has he lied to your face about? What else is he not telling you?
Somebody with his type of work is gonna meet and know a lot of people. It’s just his job. You can accept it fine if you can’t then you have to move on. I am a very jealous person and this would be difficult for me.
Girl, I’m sorry but your stories all over the place I’m not following. If your boyfriend is hiding things from you for no reason, then that means he’s lying about bigger things too. I dated a tattoo artist before for six years and he lied about everything all the time and he use this business as a way to flirt with women and told me that he had to flirt with women so that they would get a tattoo by him, which is obviously BS but I was also naïve at the time I think you should just go to Puerto Rico for vacation and you should never leave a job that you love??? Especially for a man, unless he is very financially successful, and he is paying all the bills, but obviously, that’s not the case here. I think you need to Center yourself and break up with him.
coming from a man that’s lied in the past, always follow your gut. Don’t listen to your mind or your heart when it comes to a situation like this.
From my own personal experience with shady mf’s hiding shit i would definitely say end it! Life is far too short to stick with shady lying assholes and believe or not there are guys out there that don’t lie and sneak around.
Just be honest and ask. Are you planning to get back with your ex, because of all the evidence (basically what you said in your post) I don’t think I cannot trust youa nd I would like you to be honest instead of having an affair. But you have to be able to let him go.
Go on the trip alone, give yourself some time to think about if this is what you really want. Relax and enjoy the trip, and then when you get back maybe you’ll be ready to either end or fix things. You got this, i believe in you.
Don’t leave a job for him. He is cheating. Go to surviving infidelity.com. It helped me with a cheating. Trickle truth and gaslighting are what he is already doing.
Leave him. Seems like he’s making a bad habit outta hiding things. Big things.
When someone says they lied because they knew you would get mad, its the most telling sign of guilt possible. It’s their guilt that causes them to lie because they know your BS detector will go off.
Ultimately, it’ll be your decision with regards to how much deceit you’re willing to put up with, but you can be sure this insta woman isn’t nothing.
End it.
Hello. God told me to tell you to run!! Definitely I would suggest you end that relationship. His lies alone would be is Enough to end things for me. To me it seems you are hook on to him. Your priorities are all about him. Your world revolves around him. Your decisions are base on his needs and not yours. And honestly that’s not cool. You’ve to put him on a pedestal. Why do we do that? When In reality we should be putting our selves on that pedestal. Learn to put your food down and don’t take no shot. Love your self girly. End things with that fool. There is more fish in the sea, his not the only men alive. Sending you much love. And I’m going to pray for you, for god to give you wisdom.
Yes, end it. It’s only going to get worse from here. Plus, if he was right for you, you wouldn’t be confused in the slightest. If you wouldn’t lie about things like that, don’t settle for somebody who does.
He’s up to no good. Honesty is everything in a relationship. If he’s being shady it’s for a reason. There’s no way I’d leave a job I love to go spend the winter in P.R. & I love P.R. Not for a whole winter or to lose a job over. & definitely not for a partner who’s up to no good
He is a liar. No WAY would I go on a vacation with him, let alone quit a job!
Dump him, quit your shitty job, and go to Puerto Rico.