Well, not quite… I’m having a medically required circumcision next week so I’ll be out of action for a few weeks while I recover (no gym, no cycling – my only method of transport) I need to tell a number of people who are not close friends, why I won’t be doing anything during that time period, but I don’t want to say the real reason. What part of my anatomy can I say I’m having surgery on? (Obviously not my face or anywhere they can see scars – thinking legs, back, chest, torso?)
19 comments
This is the internet, you are allowed to say penis.
Say you’re getting haemorrhoids removed from your ass hole
Just say you’re having a procedure that requires limited activity during healing.
“I’m having a surgical procedure, and must limit activity during recovery.”
They do not need to know anything more than that.
You dont have to tell them anything. You’re having a private medical procedure done that’s none of their business
Appendix removal?
Tell people you’re getting it shortened.
“It’s just too big. I got a lot of complaints from women.”
Kidney stone removal
tell them you are having surgery and don’t elaborate
My excuse was I’m having an inguinal hernia repaired. That even covered the awkward walking and stitches getting caught.
Just saying a minor surgery is enough. If they pry, just tell them it’s private. You really shouldn’t have to elaborate, and if anyone has a problem with that, that’s their problem
My general play for this is to say I’m having a procedure and when I’ll be back in action.
When asked for more, I provide ridiculous answers like “I’m having a brain-ectomy”, “getting some gills installed” or “you ever see that movie face off?”.
To protect your privacy, you might need to make someone asking questions as uncomfortable as they’re (unjustifiably) making you feel. “I’m having a procedure and I’ll be out x days, limited to xyz upon return.” When they ask more questions, just tell them you aren’t going to disclose that, and they don’t need to know. Most will back off at that point.. if not, rinse and repeat till they knock it off.
Just say you’re having surgery and don’t elaborate further.
You wouldn’t ask them for advice on whether or not to have the surgery, so don’t accept their criticism either.
First off don’t censor the word “penis” lmao
Secondly you don’t have to lie to them dude. Just say you’re having to get a surgery and that you’re alright. People don’t press for medical details
Back surgery — bad case of sciatica. This is on my mind because my surgery is tomorrow.
“I’m getting my dick shortened, I got tired of accidentally stepping on it”
You can be a man about it and say “I’m having a surgery done. No, I’m not talking about it. Don’t care, deal with it”. Or go full joker route and say you’re having a penis ensmallment surgery done since the constant weight of it is starting to hurt your testicles.
How is the gym your only mode of transport? The cycling machines can’t even move.