For context me (18M) and this girl (18F) have been going on and off for about a year and have recently gotten much closer since coming to university. As well as this, I’m 18 and a complete virgin.
Last night, me and this girl were in bed, touching each other for hours to the point I got blue balls. After sleeping for around 2 hours, she gave me a handjob in the morning, only for me to last 20 seconds. Bare in mind this is one of my first handjobs, and I feel so embarrassed and less of a man. Although I tried to brush it off, she was laughing/giggling, which made me even more embarrassed.
My question is: what can I do to make sure this never happens again? she’s coming round again tonight so something might happen, I just don’t want to embarrass myself again.
41 comments
“what can I do to make sure this never happens again?”
Pretty much nothing. Bodies are not machines and a lot of foreplay can really shorten the timeline there. I’m 58, sometimes I take a few minutes, sometimes I take an hour or more. I can’t control it any more than I can control how fast m hair grows. Sometimes you will have fast days, sometimes you will have long days, some days you won’t be able to finish, and some days you won’t be able to get hard. Welcome to the real world of sex.
Trust me, your gf did not want to give you a 45-min HJ. Shooting fast is something she delighted in and you were ready for it. Don’t feel bad at all. And stamina naturally builds as the same sex act is repeated multiple times. Just enjoy the ride.
Some women enjoy the fact that they can make a guy finish quickly. They think to themselves “wow, I was so hot and did so well that he just couldn’t contain himself.” They take it as a complement almost.
It’s nothing to worry about until it starts to happen every single time. But, seeing as how this was your first, cut yourself some slack. Understand that you’ll get used to it and fall into your stride.
You’re not a man. You’re a child. Stop having sex. But if you’re not going to listen to that, then relax. What’s happening to you is not that big of a deal and arguably fine and understandable. If she makes it a big deal, especially after you’ve explained why, then leave her..
Just relax right now you are anxious and that is normal just relax I have taken a beer or two prior to help me relax the other thing that I used to do was while masturbating trying to hold it kind of stop and start again kind of training hahahahaa but it worked so have a beer or relax think of something else also play with her more like make her hot touch her eat her let her get there first after that is all you
The embarrassment is in your head. It doesn’t make you less of a man. You only get better with experience. Don’t expect to be a pro immediately.
Who cares if you cum quickly. Pay her a compliment that it’s because she turns you on so much. Flip it around. If you could make a girl cum quick you’d feel pretty good about yourself. That’s how she will feel
Also, sex doesn’t have to end because you cum. Switch your attention to her pleasure and when you’re ready go again. Second time you’ll last longer.
If you’re really insecure about it. Cum before she comes over so you’re not as loaded
I dunno, man. It sounds like she really enjoyed herself, so much so that she wants to have sex with you again. What’s the problem exactly? Get over yourself and the embarrassment. As someone else said, no chick genuinely wants to give a 45-minute HJ.
And yes, she has told her friends about the experience. She might have also told them that she had a lot of fun.
Bud you’re 18, inexperienced, and you’d been getting low level edged for several hours. It’s fine. If you’re worried about it, next time you think something’s going to go down, rub one out a few hours before going over to get the easy one out of the way. If you want to bring it up (and I really don’t think you need to) tell her sorry you went off like a rocket, you had just been so turned on making out all night that you were on a hair trigger.
There is no too fast or too slow. Try to focus on having a good time together and not on the orgasm.
She must have some bomb pussy if she makes you cum in 2 minutes
She obviously had a great time. Enjoy yourselves and don’t sweat it. Young and inexperienced, so you will get used to it all.
Perfectly normal
This is not a problem, normal! Since you came this morning, you’ll last longer tonight. After hours of foreplay, of course you came quickly.
I think it’s totally hot when my 52yo (!!!) boyfriend finishes fast. You’re new to this, don’t be so hard on yourself. Not to mention you had been engaging in foreplay for hours so it’s even more understandable you finished quickly. Sex is goofy, embarrassing, funny, etc. in addition to all the good stuff. Learn to laugh early and it will ease your fears and your partners for the rest of your sex life. May I suggest she was giggling bc it was fun to bring you to climax like that. Maybe she was nervous.
You cumming fast should be a massive compliment to your dance partner. Just remember, it’s not over. You have to return the favor.
She’s laughing/giggling because she’s so flattered she made you so excited that you couldn’t control yourself. Not a problem, unless she tells you it is.
Back in my dating days, I don’t think I’ve ever came at all during sex. It was because I masturbated everyday, sometimes multiple times per day.
Trust me, yours is a much better problem to have. If you are afraid you will cum to fast next time, just rub one out a few hours prior. I personally don’t like to do that though, as it lowers my sex drive.
This exact same thing used to happen to me when I was that age. I literally thought there was something wrong with me, didn’t realize until I was much older how common this is. Don’t forget that you’ve got 2 hands and a mouth. If you finish early, you can still spend time on her until you recover. Or alternatively, focus a lot on her in the beginning. I still have times where I know I’ve got like…2 thrusts in me, so I’ll spend a good amount of time getting her where she’s going before any sex happens.
I hate that society teaches men that our orgasms are a bad thing and can only happen at a certain time. There’s nothing wrong with you. You are not any less of a man. What the fuck put that idea in your head? Get rid of it now.
Has your girlfriend said anything? She was probably laughing because a) it was unexpected and b) she felt high as a kite after making you feel so good. The majority of women would feel great if their male partners came quickly.
As a girl I’ve always found it super flattering and hot when this happens lol. I can’t speak for everyone but based on her reaction I can almost guarantee you that she was into it and is just happy that u were excited/attracted enough to her that u finished quickly
it doesn’t happen too much anymore, but when my boyfriend and i of 2 years started dating, he was a virgin and didn’t usually last very long.
i always thought it was so endearing and made me giggle because it felt like such a huuuge compliment.
he’s built up his stamina A LOT since then, but whenever it happens (rarely, now) as long as he helps me finish afterwards, it’s not an issue and i still take it in a positive way.
From my point of view you are ok.
You are certainly not less of a man for coming quickly. This is all new to you. It’s to be expected.
Think about it, she is coming round again tonight so she is not affronted, dissapointed, embarrassed or whatever. I concur with people that there are women who thinks it’s hot when they can make a guy come quickly and see it as a compliment.
Don’t know how you feel about it but maybe you can go a few rounds. Takes longer with every time or that’s what a lot of people say.
I mean I understand the way you feel. Really do. With my first gf I had a few evenings when…let’s say I entered and that was it. Even with a condom on. Just happens.
Sex and pleasure is not reduced to an erect penis so when you wait for round 2 you guys can explore a lot of other stuff with different body parts interacting in wonderful ways.
I think you’re fine. If it is a big issue for you maybe you can let her know about it and ask what she thinks about it. If you want and can. Could help to take away pressure if she reacts understanding how you feel. And it’s s great opener to maybe ask what you can do for her so she has even more fun/pleasure with you, erection or not.
​
Have fun, enjoy and take care.
Totally okay bro. Tell her how good she made you feel and make sure she feels good too. Good old fashioned practice will build in more time.
And remember she interprets it differently than you do. You had pleasure from an intimate experience. That is a good thing. I’m a guy, so I relate, but it’s more true that harder faster longer is superior and most desired. I promise. You will bond together with this. Show vulnerability and intimacy (as hard as that may be), more so than embarrassment, and you are golden.
You’re a virgin, right?
I wouldn’t be embarrassed, dude. You got a hand job from a girl and at your age, I was beyond giddy by that. It’s natural for you to cum quickly, and it’ll likely happen again. Even me, at 34, have times that I finish in seconds.
That’s life and there are many factors that can contribute. You being a virgin is definitely one of them. The good news is endurance can be built on, but pacing yourself is very important.
Chill out dude. Many young men experience something similar, it’s kind of a rite of passage lol.
In my opinion you’re best move is to enjoy the moment and don’t worry about some arbitrary time limit you made up in your head. This should be a fun and exciting time for you!
She wasn’t laughing at you. She was laughing and giggling because she enjoyed it. She liked how turned on and excited you were.
Lasting takes practice. At first you aren’t going to be very good at it but there are plenty of ways you can satisfy her. Try not to worry so much and enjoy it.
She probably didn’t even want to be doing it in the first place lol chill she don’t give a fuck. Men are fucking goofy bro.
From a woman’s standpoint, I might just say that all that thing with being “less of a man” is something you need to let go of.
I have never met a women who consider it an ego boost to have a guy getting off fast. As long as it’s not something that happens consistently to the point where having sex is impossible every time, no matter how hard you try, it’s all good, dude.
In general, all those measures of being “a real man” is something most women don’t give a fuck about and the ones who wouldn’t sleep with you for those reasons are people who wouldn’t be worth sleeping with to begin with.
If I was able to do that to my man I would be soooooooo happy, she is feeling like she’s on top of the world because of it, like her hands are made out of magic. Don’t feel embarrassed or bad, you made a girl’s day I promise 🙌🏻❤️
Bruh you essentially edged for hours then went to bed of course you came fast. You can tell her that if you want, but I doubt she cares much.
Is “lasting” even desirable with a handjob? She probably got a big ego boost from making you cum so fast. Like how would you feel if you fingered a girl and she came in 20 seconds?
If you think it was intended to be foreplay, okay. Sex doesn’t have to be over when you nut. You can return the favor and finger her out give oral, and if you can get it up again then you can resume the fun.
Ive had two guys last about 2-3 seconds in me and they aren’t virgins, I felt flattered but I wish I was taken care of after which I wasn’t.
I don’t think you need to feel
Embarrassed and I don’t know what you can do to last longer, maybe jerk off before?
It’s going to happen again, my dude. I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t overthink. You may last long one day and cum after 20 second the next. What matters is that both of you are enjoying each other.
Coming fast is not embarrassing. That’s my preference.
She was laughing and giggling because she made you cum and she was excited!!
My husband still has moments where he doesn’t last 5 minutes. I just think “damn I feel that good”. He gets me off after.
A lot of times I tell him not to wait for me and I go feral the moment he busts. I love seeing how fast he finishes. And sometimes I laugh because I’m excited
Dude there is no reason for you to be embarrassed about cumming quickly when you’re backed up and a virgin. The more you two do it, the more stamina you’ll build! Trust me, this isn’t gonna be the norm for you. And if it is, then that’s something to talk to your doctor about
You touched each other for hours prior. It’s not surprising at all that you came so fast. That was completely normal after a marathon session of fooling around. There’s nothing wrong with you and nothing to be ashamed of.
a couple thoughts
– women often see this as a compliment of sorts
– as you continue your relationship with this girl, you’ll get more relaxed around her and this will happen less
– this will also happen less as you get older
– you can always compensate with more foreplay
She probably jus thrilled she didn’t have to give an extensive hand job.
It happens to everyone regardless of gender. Sometimes things just line up and you’re done for. My bf was teasing me a couple weeks ago and it took just a few minutes and surprised both of us. Bodies are weird.
Personally, if my bf is done quickly, I take it as he was incredibly turned on *by me*. We laugh and clean up and then go another round later.
Dude, you’re 18, it happens. I can all but guarantee that she’d be turned on if you said something like “you make me cum so fast”. Learn other ways to please her with your hands, mouth, and toys. Communicate communicate communicate. Practice edging to increase stamina, slow down the pace, rub one out before you’re about to get intimate. And I can’t say it enough, but stay tf away from porn. Porn ruined my sexual brain for many years. It wasn’t until I stopped that crap that I learned how to listen to my wife’s desires and how to truly please her in bed.
You touched one another for hours, to the point you got blue balls, and then when she gave you a handy you came in 20 seconds. It’s all sex! All that touching for hours counts toward how long you lasted. Lots of guys cum in their pants without even being touched. You did great! This doesn’t make you less of a man, it makes you a King!