You are out with your husband or wife and their friend.

You are teasing the friend and trying to get a rise out of them in a playful manner.

The friend is either taken aback or laughing.

Your husband or wife says to the friend “just ignore him”

I’m trying to figure out why this would be said.

12 comments

  2. If you’re feeling embarrassed by this they were feeling embarrassed by your actions. Maybe reflect on your actions?

  3. You were being annoying and/or embarrassing. They were telling the friend to ignore you to not give you the reaction you were hoping for.

  4. You’re embarrassing everyone at the table and making your spouse uncomfortable. You just don’t realize it.

  5. To me I read it as your partner and his friend are out with you. He (friend) doesn’t have that personal relationship with you but you’re acting in a way he does. If I had someone who I wasn’t warmed up to tease me I may also get awkward vibes from it. You have to do the ground work and build your relationship before becoming overly friendly like you’ve been mates for a decade.

    Ps. if you’re married, you probably don’t want to get too friendly with your husband’s mate.

  6. You were embarrassing yourself and the friend. Spouse steps in help out the friend. Not sure what the variable is you’re missing?

  7. You will drive yourself crazy by analyzing things like this. Just wait for an appropriate time, and ask your partner what they meant by it. Try to think positively about it so that it comes across in a good way and not accusatory. Plus giving the benefit of the doubt can only help. Maybe they were kidding. Maybe you meant no harm, but they know their friend and could tell they were uncomfortable and wanted to relieve the tension, etc. If we can’t trust our partners to tell us small things like this then we’re fucked right? Trust me I have my own issues with my wife that would look easy to fix from someone else so I’m not trying to be condescending. If you get an answer you aren’t good with then it’s a good way to find out what to do or expect next time. Good luck!

  8. Okay, clearly you are the husband. You observed the friend was “taken aback” by something you said. And also that they laughed. That woman laughed because she felt terribly awkward and/or insulted/put-off by something you said, and women are programmed from childhood to smile and laugh for the sake of men’s comfort. Your wife was embarrassed for her friend and was trying to smooth over whatever dumb thing you said and shift the conversation. Regardless, it wouldn’t hurt to have a conversation about it with her (“what did you mean when you said ‘just ignore him’ the other night? Did I say something wrong?”) because I’m pretty positive you made your wife super uncomfortable and you can use it as an opportunity to gain self-awareness and insight, as it seems you may have been trying to do here, and throw her an apology for not realizing your comment was off-color.

  9. You potentially took your teasing a bit to far and your partner is trying to make the situation better for your friend.

  10. Because the “playful teasing to get a rise out of them” was socially inappropriate and possibly bad enough to be a form of bullying or sexual harassment. Some people get their kicks out of making others uncomfortable. These people are also known as a$$holes. If everyone isn’t laughing, it’s not funny. Know your audience.

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