That’s all that’s the question, sorry if its been asked before i just want to know because i’m pretty hyperseuxal. I’m looking to start dating again, and within my experiences all my exes have had lower sex drives than me, and it’s been quite a struggle

32 comments

  2. I wouldn’t say a turn off, but it can certainly be inconvenient if a person’s libido was higher than their partner is able to catch up with. Regardless of man or woman, it’s more about sexual compatibility between two people.

    I have heard some men might have an ego hit about not being able to match their partner’s libido and take it out on their partner, which would be a red flag.

  3. Nah it’s not a turn off, it’s a turn on. My sex drive is very high but my girlfriend’s is higher. She’s in a relationship with *me* and my boyfriend so she has two guys to satisfy her. If it was just me I probably couldn’t handle it haha

  4. I would die of happiness to be honest, my wife’s is nonexistent most of the time, I could have sex 2-4 times a day, and have been like that since I was 18 (I’m 32) and don’t see it changing anytime soon.

  5. Men are expected to be always sexually available and always interested. And men usually have a higher libido so this usually works out. But when it doesn’t it can be kind of a mindfuck for both parties. It’s not a turnoff exactly, but you both have to understand that if he’s occasionally not up for it it doesn’t mean he’s not attracted to you and it doesn’t mean he’s less of a man. People will internalize this cultural expectation and it burrows into your subconscious. You might have yourself figured out, but if he hasn’t been the LL partner before he might have a bunch of stuff he suddenly discovers he needs to work through. That’s something you might find yourself having to help someone with more than once, if you tend to date people you like.

  7. I mean for what purpose exactly? Relationship wise is probably need some management on sex because resentment out of incompatibility is not fun or funny. ONS probably fine for me then again there’s a lot of other factors to make things a turn off.

  9. My gf has a way higher libido then I do but to make up for it I use toys or I use any other way to get her to finish for me besides just having sex. But no to me it’s not a turn off for me.

  11. M36. If it is much higher libido that mine – yes, it can be a problem. First, logistically (always multiple times a day may be difficult when you have other responsibilities and interests in life). Second, it may lead to feeling not being able to satisfy your partner enough, which may be emasculating.

  12. I mean I am horny most all of the time. The only time it was a turn off was when 10 minutes after I finished, a girl started grabbing it again. I told her that nothing was going to be able to happen for at least another hour and her reaction was annoying. So as long as your not pissy about it it should be fine

  13. Not at all. A woman that knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to get it is very attractive

  14. I’d love it! My SO has a lower one than mine so someone who’d match me would be perfect.

  15. To me, the problem isn’t the libido, it’s the lack of understanding. I’ve always had a higher libido than current/past partners. They never really minded until they would use the line, ‘Is that all you think about?’ Or ‘You want it at the worst times’

  16. Libido is such an oversimplified concept. It isn’t really helpful to think this way. I prefer to think about desires. Do my partner’s desires match mine?

    I don’t date monogamously so I have different partners with different desires. I know what to expect from each one. So I don’t schedule dates with two super horny partners in a row. Maybe I have a horny date one night and a chill date the next. There’s balance.

    So no, it’s not a turn off at all, just something to keep in mind.

  17. No not at all. Although I used to look for clues as to why she is like that but eventually just concluded some people have higher libidos than others.

  19. If the drive is aimed at me? Great, someone who might match me. If she’s just horny in general? I wonder if she’ll be faithful if I don’t have the libito she does. This question is the role reversal of my former marriage. My ex thought I’d just cheat if she didn’t submit, never did.

  20. It doesn’t last long until the partner’s libido reduces and you’re now the one with higher libido. Usually after a couple of years or after the first kid

  23. I have a very high sex drive, and dated a girl who also had a high sex drive. It was not a turn-off, but there were times when I just wasn’t in the mood. I’d say the same went for her as well, just like any normal relationship. For the two of us, we could not find a good balance.

  24. It’s only a problem if they are going to get frustrated that I’m not on their level.

    Which is a legitimate concern

    I don’t want to get emotionally invested in someone, so only have them leave me down the road because I’m not looking to fuck at all hours or the day.

    I had this problem with an ex once who was WAY more kinky than me, and it caused problems in our relationship, and ultimately led to her having an affair

  25. I WISH my wife wanted to fuck all the time. She was wild as hell when we met. Not so much anymore.

  28. 10 years of marriage to my hyper sexual wife. I have a lower libido than average, It’s not a turn off and it is fun. It’s hard to navigate her insecurities. Open communication is key. And find a guy who isn’t easily prone to jealousy. Find things that he finds fun and sexual that aren’t sex. Get toys.

  29. That would probably be scary since my libido is very high but I would have no problem trying to keep up. 😉

  30. Ideal world is having the same as the partner. But im hyper sexual. For me it would be a turn ON

  32. Wow, no. Not my case for sure. Maybe some men could feel intimidated, but i really don’t understand why could it be a turn off…but probabably it might be alpha male insecurity if you know what i mean.

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