I (f,27) am in a 3 year monogamous relationship with my partner (m,30). Overall our sex life is good and I am happy with our relationship, but I am bi and do miss being with women. I would love to be able to be intimate with my boyfriend and another woman with him. I also have been in threesomes in the past and had a good time.
How can I bring up the topic of a threesome to my partner ? What questions can I ask to gauge his interest?
TLDR
want to have a threesome but unsure how to bring it up to partner
7 comments
You’re in a monogamous relationship. If you want to change that, you need to address it that way.
Make him understand what changes you’d be willing to make, and what changes you would not be willing to make, and see if he agrees with your ideas.
Every couple that I have ever known that did this wished they hadn’t and their relationship ended horribly.
Think long and hard about this because the stakes are very high and it will cause heartache.
I’ve seen threesomes destroy every single (non-married) relationship that went for it. Bringing a 3rd person into the bedroom can get really messy (no pun intended). If you request or do this, you could sabotage the relationship you have – which might actually be the best thing for you. Maybe yer meant to be in a non traditional situation. Maybe yer bf can help you figure out what kind of relationship you really need. Wishing you luck🍀
You’ve been with him three years, you probably have a good idea how he’d react.
Would generally say it’s not a good idea. But if you want to move forward, start with some fantasy type talk when you’re in bed. Something like asking him if he’d think it was hot to see you kiss a girl. And build from there.
Over time as you talk through scenarios, if you’re getting a positive reaction, move to asking him, “Do you think we could ever actually do something like that?”
You mean you don’t want to try the direct approach of telling him, he isn’t enough for you? Are you really asking for advice on how to trick (manipulate) him into it?
Does he know of you being bi? Would it be a big surprise to him?
He knows that you’ve done this in the past, right?
I mean everyone is still gonna be sexually attracted to other people but that doesn’t mean you should act on it. You agreed to a relationship so I don’t think it’d turn out well.