I’ve always been quiet, reserved & lacked confidence & have always been described as ‘too nice’ & I was always a people pleaser & never had a smart way to respond to bitchy comments by mean girls.
I sometimes got picked on by the ‘popular’ / ‘mean’ girls at school & I was so weak & nice that I would just smile & agree with them to get it over & done with, & then later get angry at myself for not being tougher & giving it back to them.
Below I’ve got some situations I dealt with where I smiled & stayed quiet.
I just wanna know, what would you or a socially confident person say to comments like these?
• Once when I was 21 at work as a sales assistant at a pharmacy & I had just finished cleaning some shelves. I was walking back to the bin with the dirty cloth to throw it out, & a girl I worked with who was an ex popular/mean girl at school walked past me, looked at the dirty cloth in my hand & said ‘ew’ with a condescending bitchy smile.
My response: frowned eyebrows with a wtf expression on my face
• in grade 9 in high school, a girl was trying to get back to her desk & my chair was in the way, so I pushed my chair in & said ‘sorry’ as I was making way for her. She then really rudely said ‘why don’t you just MOVE’. As if she was trying to say ‘don’t say sorry, just MOVE’
My response: “I AM moving”
• at my previous medical receptionist job, there was an annoying girl who you can tell was one of those bitchy/mean girls in school, she was the same age as me (25). We were talking about a patient that came into work & another colleague asked what she looks like. The annoying girl made a joke & smiled saying ‘she looks like (my name)’. I then just smiled & said no haha she doesn’t & then the annoying girl said ‘come on don’t be embarrassed, she’s literally your twin’ & then I said ‘girl she looks more like you’ & she just kept whispering to that other colleague ‘she’s just embarrassed’ & I just ignored her after that cause she was just gonna keep going.
How would you have reacted to these situations?
The problems with comments like these is that they’re not rude enough to complain to a teacher or manager about, but they’re still annoying to deal with & I just want some ideas on what kind of responses would be a smart way to deal with those comments.
5 comments
I totally get comments like that all the time! I completely relate with you!
*Once when I was 21 at work as a sales assistant at a pharmacy & I had just finished cleaning some shelves. I was walking back to the bin with the dirty cloth to throw it out, & a girl I worked with who was an ex popular/mean girl at school walked past me, looked at the dirty cloth in my hand & said ‘ew’ with a condescending bitchy smile.*
This one is a bit confusing, a look can be easily misinterpreted, had the girl frequently given you shit?
*in grade 9 in high school, a girl was trying to get back to her desk & my chair was in the way, so I pushed my chair in & said ‘sorry’ as I was making way for her. She then really rudely said ‘why don’t you just MOVE’. As if she was trying to say ‘don’t say sorry, just MOVE’*
This is pretty typical high school stuff and not something that should be concerning you in your 20s. Your interactions in high school are something that you should try to forget if they were mostly negative. I know that’s easier said than done.
*at my previous medical receptionist job, there was an annoying girl who you can tell was one of those bitchy/mean girls in school, she was the same age as me (25). We were talking about a patient that came into work & another colleague asked what she looks like. The annoying girl made a joke & smiled saying ‘she looks like (my name)’. I then just smiled & said no haha she doesn’t & then the annoying girl said ‘come on don’t be embarrassed, she’s literally your twin’ & then I said ‘girl she looks more like you’ & she just kept whispering to that other colleague ‘she’s just embarrassed’ & I just ignored her after that cause she was just gonna keep going.*
So the girl compared your looks to a patient (I’m guessing the patient was not very good-looking). This is just shockingly immature behavior for a workplace with adults. I mean at that point, if it’s someone that you work closely with you may need to inform a supervisor that your coworkers are poking fun at you and that that’s a completely unacceptable work environment. I mean jfc what are you gonna do get into the dozens with a coworker like it’s still middle school or something? Like idk be like “yeah you’re not a vision of beauty yourself there toots, and I can tell by your need to tear me down you’re insecure too.” You can be like I’m just trying to do my fucking job here, LIKE YOU, and I’d appreciate it if you dialed back the completely unnecessary snark.
Although I feel you can spend your time more wisely I think you should carry a note pad and pencil at all times. Whenever You think of a comeback, write it down. Do this for a while so when the situation comes you are ready.
You could also have something to do if they ever pull stuff like that again.
Man, I’m a dude, I’d either just ignore.
Give them a look or say “what the fuck did you say?”
Or maybe get ready for a first fight 😂🤷🏼♂️
Im sorry theres no such thing as too kind. Maybe walked on but not kind. You only need to not take bs from idiots. I say you wish because they wish you were what was said. Please keep being nice. Just be nice to good people.