I’m 17M and I’m sure you lot are aware that I’m having issues with me always having to initiate over text but not in person. They reply to me but they just don’t text me first. Is it because I’m too desperate because I’m lonely? Have I just got to keep initiating until they do. It is happening with my new friends and friends I’ve had for over a year
6 comments
Definitely try your best to not come off desperate. People will avoid you like the plague. You are young. Eat, Lift and Sleep. Focus on becoming the best you. Everyone will swarm to you after that. When women like you they will text first almost 9/10 times in my experience. Good Luck Brother!
Same me too ;( I text them and sometimes they’ll respond and we will have a short conversation before they leave me on read
That sucks and I’m sorry. You will need to keep doing that before they do. Good friends/girlfriends are worth the effort.
People need an initiater like yourself. Initiating can be hard, and these friends of yours might appreciate that low key. People can be easily anxious depressed or generally antisocial these days. If you’re also the one to initiate**actual** hanging out, you play an important role now dontcha?
Maybe try telling them that. I think some people enjoy social interaction more than others, so ur current friends might happen to be people who enjoy keeping to themselves. It’d be nice to tell them smth like “i want to talk to you, but i respect your space, so if u feel like you need you time, then let me know”
Likewise, there are people who are more clingy (NOT SAYING THIS IN A NEGATIVELY-CONNOTATIVE way, my vocabulary bank is small so idk any other words 💀) so if u meet them, i believe they will be able to match your energy!
Hey…I hear you. I’ve felt just like you in the past so I understand that feeling of being ‘desperate’.
One day, I stopped being the first person to reach out. I made a promise I’d wait until someone reached out to me.
Yes. Took a couple of weeks or more. A month sometimes. Never heard from others. I decided it was all ok.
I spent time writing lists of what I liked and wanted more of.
Every time I started focusing on lack of ‘friends’ I did ab exercises. I got a great flat, toned tummy lol
One day I kind of worked out maybe what I needed was some new friends. And through focusing on goals of my own and letting my expectations of others go – it started to happen.
For me, I’m an overgiver and someone who’s always willing to help. People may not notice or care, or return anything.
That’s ok. But give to yourself. Focus inward not outward. After awhile you’ll realise you’re not so focused on people reaching out. When your focus changes, so does your world.
Exercise. Eat well. Get good sleep. Spend time doing things you enjoy. Feel good about who you are. You don’t have to be desperate. You just have to be YOU. That’s your superpower.