I am not a good communicator, and I tend to react quickly to things and regret later. However, I don’t quite understand why I am expected to apologize because I lost my cool, but the other person who said things that are upsetting just gets away with it. It’s always my fault at the end, and honestly that felt hurtful. Shouldn’t the apology be both ways?
3 comments
When you lose your cool you will need to apologize. I don’t know what the other person did.
>However, I don’t quite understand why I am expected to apologize because I lost my cool, but the other person who said things that are upsetting just gets away with it
It might be a question of intent and proportion. If the other person hurt you *unintentionally,* that might merit an apology after the fact, but if you react by hurting them back *intentionally,* and if your reaction is “bigger” than the initial offense, most people are going to take the view that you’re the asshole in that scenario.
On the other hand, a lot of people seem to think that you should let any and all offense roll of your back, and that if you react at all you’re in the wrong for failing to “be the bigger person,” which is bullshit, but also an extremely common outlook that not enough people scrutinize.
Without more context, it’s hard to know which category your dilemma falls into.
I have always been a very emotional person. When emotion is high, logic is low. I am now going through an extremely stressful time, with emotions running at all time highs. When emotional (hard not to be) I ask myself if a decision on my actions needs to be made right away. If the answer is no, I wait and make a decision later. I just wish I had followed this simple technique years ago.