To preface this I’m 14 and obviously going through puberty, I don’t feel like I’ve changed all that much
but in the ways I’m perceived definitely. I’ve gotten a lot more male attention and general comments about my appearance – it’Il be friends parents’ thinking I look older than I am, getting cat called and asked out while at work, whatever. I had a hard time with school (mostly on my part/ mental health reasons) and made the decision to move almost a year ago. At the old
school everyone had seen me “grow up” from 11-13 and at the time still considered myself really ugly, I
had friends with boyfriends already and I got it in my head something about me had to have been undateable. Only after leaving have I been told of “ALL the boys” that had a crush on me and whatnot, and as
shallow as it sounds if I had known I would’ve felt a lot more comfortable in how I carried myself.
It was a huge change going to the next school and being considered pretty at once, I made the usual
effort to be friendly to everyone regardless of whatever I might’ve heard and just wanted to get to
know people (I’d fully intended on not having any friends at this school and just getting on with it so I was happy with the attention being ‘new girl’ gave me) Boys were asking for my Snap, and a LOT of girls were talking to me trying to make friends. A couple days ago I found out one of these girls had a mental breakdown over me joining because she worried I’d take all the ‘dateable’ boys from her (fast forward a year and I’m no closer to getting a boyfriend so l’d
hoped this would ease their minds)
Based off this and other small things I’ve noticed in how these girls
talk to and behave around me I struggle to believe they genuinely consider me a friend as I have done.
I’m very much a “girls girl” and not the type to embarrass anyone else for these boys validation where I’ve noticed a lot of these girls do. I don’t know what is wrong with me, really. I crave close female friendships and I feel it’s always one-sided or the appeal is based on how I look. None of these boys approach me in my daily life, I’ve only ever heard the
things they say about me so I can’t help but wonder if I’m undateable. I’m not going out of my way to find a
boyfriend but I’m at that age where I’m giving it some real thought and I feel this is another thing that’s
affecting my confidence because I do value my friends first and a lot of the time I’m not so sure they even like me.
tl;dr I moved schools a year ago and have noticed a change in the way I’m perceived, girls are a lot more competitive with me despite never having entertained any relationship with boys.