Hey everyone, any advice on how to make good friends at high school?
Some backstory: I’ve been at my new school for two days, I use to be quite socially anxious and awkward but I’ve grown a lot more self confident and even my social skills have improved even without practise just from self confidence I guess due to the fact that I started going to the gym 7 months ago, anyways I just can’t connect with people very well. I know it’s only been two days but it seems like everyone else my age is either immature and trying to be funny and are just annoying or quiet and I can’t talk to them because either I don’t know what to say or they close the conversation. The rare few who seem like I could get along with I don’t really talk to because their friends are like I mentioned imo annoying. I don’t really have any friends tbh. I had some great friends but I moved away two years ago and haven’t really had any since. Just want to make some any advice or tips would be great thank you!
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For one thing, be patient. You won’t connect with your new best friend right away. Those relationships take time to cultivate. In the meantime, enjoy the people you’re with. Take advantage of opportunities to work with partners/groups in class. Sit with strangers at lunch. If the interaction lacks chemistry, that’s just 20 minutes lost and it just means those are not your people. But it doesn’t mean you don’t have people. Eventually, you will find chemistry and click with some folks.
One thing that will help is to understand that ALL teenagers are immature and annoying. This, by default, includes you (not a criticism; you’re a stranger on the Internet and I don’t know you, but I do know teenagers, as I work with them for a living.) You are all very wary of one another and suspicious of each other. Teens are very judgemental and will avoid people based the most arbitrary observations and interactions. And yet, more often than not, when they actually engage with someone they wrote off, they find that they have depth and are interesting. It doesn’t necessarily mean they are best friend material, but they are able to move past their initial prejudice. I say all this to encourage you to recognize your own prejudices and give people a shot anyway. Our first impressions of people are often wrong, or at least incomplete.
The best advice is to join a club or two. Check out your school website or visit the athletics office for a list of what’s available. Find a group of kids with a common interest, and you automatically have a shared connection. If you don’t see a club that already reflects one of your interests, there are some that are always going to be welcoming and chill. Drama kids, cultural clubs, DnD clubs, art clubs; you don’t have to earn your place there, they’re excited to have new members. If you have zero experience with those things, that’s okay; it’s one of their favorite things to share and teach their thing. Getting involved in a school play is a guaranteed way to make friends, and you don’t have to be in the show to be involved; there are more people backstage than on stage in a theater production. Not to mention it’s hella fun.
Good luck! And be patient. Put yourself into social situations, and you’ll make connections. Be vulnerable
Be bold. Be flexible.