I (36f) and my husband (34m) have been together for over 2y. He has a friend (I’ll call her Megan) who is a 28f. She has a boyfriend (together for over 1y). Up until today she and I were friends as well.
Today she and I got into it because she called me a liar over something and I showed proof I wasn’t. This apparently pissed her off and she said “I can make (husband) leave you.” then proceeded to attack our relationship and my custody arrangement with my kids dad (which I’m waiting for a court date to change).
After she did this, I did the same to her and told her since she feels my relationship and how things are with my custody arrangement are on the table, then clearly that means the same for her, and it became gloves off.
Well, now she’s playing the victim, having her boyfriend message me harassing me. They’re both sending threats to me of things involving a g*n (trying not to get my post removed). Saying they’re gonna call my husband right when he gets off and tell him in a narcissist.
Do I let him make the decision on going there Friday like he planned? Do I tell him I feel he needs to cut ties with them due to threats? I have no idea how to handle this…..
Update : husband has been told everything. My dad was helping me handle some stuff and could see my phone screen (which I didn’t know) so he saw everything. He pulled my husband aside while they were grilling and told him that everything he (dad) heard me just telling him (husband) was accurate.
They’re still outback grilling right now so idk what’s happening as far as him and their friendship. I’m laying down with a migraine from hell.
As far as the threats, my dad is taking me in the morning to try and file a restraining order and see about pressing charges
36 comments
does your husband know about this?
Sounds like both the women are TA
He needs to support you 100% and let go of those toxic people.
Tell your husband asap. That would be a toxic behavior (I can make your (weak willed) husband leave you). I suggest you talk to your hubby and jointly decide wtd about her but I strongly suggest you both see less of her.
First you need to calm down. Then you need to have a calm talk with your husband and tell him what she said and what’s going on. But you need to make it clear she can no longer be in your lives.
Period.
Once she threatened your marriage that was IT.
Then guns and physical threats? That’s when you involve the authorities.
Do. Not. Engage with this woman, her bf, friends or family. No one.
And the same goes for your husband. He needs to understand that you are his wife. Wife trumps “friend”. Doesn’t matter who was initially at fault. She took it WAY too far.
And you both need to block the both of them.
For the threats, even if you think they’re not credible, if you can prove it came from them, call the police. Period.
They want to take the gloves off, then take them off already.
Just start with explaining the situation and allow your husband the opportunity to make his own decision. Once he’s done that, you’ll have a clear idea where you stand with him…
For the record, he should cut her off immediately.
First, tell your husband. Second, if you think their threats hold any weight, report them to the police. Third, grow up. You’re an adult woman and shouldn’t be wasting your time with petty fights with other adult women.
Tell your husband everything that has happened. If she was stupid enough to text you, show him the texts.
Block her and her bf.
If he’s okay with people literally threatening your life you’ve got a serious incurable issue. Tell him immediately. Joining her in the low blow insults was a terrible idea – but nothing justifies threatening you.
Sounds like she’s immature. Best to block and move on, if the husband doesn’t support you then that’s a bummer deal
UpdateMe!
show your husband immediately
If they made physical threats with a deadly weapon, I’d talk to the cops.
UpdateMe!
This whole post makes my head hurt at the absurdity. The childish back and forth. The tit for tat behavior.
This whole ridiculous drama is just, frankly (go ahead and down vote me people) trashy as hell.
The moment she said she could make your husband leave you, you should have blocked her and then filled your husband in when you picked him up from work and he blocks them too. End of “friendship”, end of story.
You probably won’t do it, because this is a Kardashian world, but it would be the simple and logical thing to do.
Save all the texts and show your husband. If he’s willing to still be friends with her then you know he is not valuing you at all and if he’s willing to be friends with a women who threatened to physically harm you I’d leave him. If they are threatening you I’d show the police those texts. Regardless of what happens with your husband I would not engage this women or her boyfriend and stop arguing with them stop talking to them altogether. If your husband continues a friendship I’d leave him and talk to none of them ever again. You’re 36 and in a custody battle don’t have people like this in your life
Call the cops, really?
How your husband reacts/responds will show what kind of person he is.
You need to let your husband know that his friend told you that she could make him leave you and that she and her boyfriend are sending your threats. Then make it clear that his friendship with her is officially inappropriate.
Call the police and let them see the threats.
100% report the threats and if you stopped respond but they continued to send messages that’s legit aggravated harassment. If anything, a cop can scare them into stopping. Obviously tell your husband, if he supports and respects you this will be a no brainer.
FYI Anyone who calls someone else a narcissist when they’re threatening etc IS the narcissist.
Jesus.
if he cannot cut ties or support you with these horrible “friends” then you are better off
Gun threat = stop posting on reddit and call the police.
As to your husband, this is a sitting down serious discussion.
Nothing to do with if he is “allowed” to go over there or not, more a “Why are you friends with this horrible scum” discussion.
UpdateMe
All of this drama in one day, how does it even get this far?
Show the whole thing to your husband on how they threaten harm, etc.
Of course, he should cut ties with them due to threats. He should know better to do this himself without you having to tell him this.
UpdateMe!
Why are you posting here? go to the police with these gun threats. Do you want your kids to lose their mother? Cause that’s what’s going to happen if you sit here and do nothing about it.
You have messages. Screen shot that shit and send it to him IMMEDIATELY.
Next, they aren’t your friends any more. Block them on everything.
Finally, husband needs to do the same.
Did they threaten you via text? If so report them to the police. Hell report them for harassment and threats anyway. Also time to have a serious convo with the husband about cutting this friend off.
I’m curious as to why the friend thinks she has your husband’s ear like that. Do they have history?
Update me
First thing you do is call the police and tell them you’ve been threatened with use of a gun. You get a RO and you immediately tell your bd what happiness and what’s happening. I’m sure I
You know this but seems worth saying….you’ve shown really poor judgment engaging in any of this. I get that you wanted to defend yourself but engaging in the same crazy and harassing behavior as she has….really not wise or helpful for your custody case. Good luck OP
Tell your husband you feel physically threatened and want nothing more to do with this couple. They are no longer welcome in your house and any further incidents will result you involving the police.
Then it’s his choice to make on how he responds.
Between this and the domestic violence charge from her previous post, I find the credibility of what she’s saying suspect.
Something just smells off.