How to fix what I’m doing wrong when I can’t ask what I’m doing wrong

I live with my parent (30F) and am trying to move out but need help in the meantime.

The arguing is becoming increasingly frequent and it’s the same thing. I keep doing things that upset them. However, I have zero idea what it is. It can range from running low on refilling the salt to the tone in my voice, but I never have a clear explanation to what it is I do wrong.

I get told what I do is deliberate to bully them and purposely cause fights. I tell them I wouldn’t purposely do stuff to upset them because I don’t know what it is that bothers them.

And they always use the excuse of “if I twist your arm, throw you on the ground, or punch you right now, you’d know what I’m doing to you is bothering you. Why can’t you realize what you do to me bothers me.”

I really don’t know what to do because asking is out of the question. My guess was to constantly keep my guard up and just not show emotion because when we fight we never have these issues. I let my guard down and am more myself, it’s when it happens thus my true self being considered this bad person.

I can’t think of anything else to do and honestly need advice on how do I stop upsetting my parent when I have no idea what bothers them and it’s pointless to ask directly what it is.