Met this woman (27F) in July, we started hanging out in August-September. At one point she asked if we were dating after we spent the night together (I refused to kiss or go further with her because of a number of reasons), and said that we were already basically dating this whole time I said “Idk, I didn’t even know we were dating” (I know, I know how oblivious could I be? But I’m just a young, inexperienced guy so that’s why I thought that), she took this pretty hard at one point threatening to kill her self. (Sidenote: I don’t think she was attracted to me, I just think she was lonely). I introduced her to my friend (29M), who they’re now happily engaged, and they really are quite happy together, she really did seem over me from the way she spoke and behaved, it seemed like she was happy and stopped caring about me. She’s attracted to this new guy much more than me, so good for them and for her. Since they got engaged (4 days after they met, but believe me this doesn’t matter, they really are very happy together and aligned on every goal and value), her and I stopped talking. My friend that shes engaged to now, he and I have been talking significantly less but are still on good terms.
Yesterday (after about of month of their engagement and of me and her no longer talking), she texted me about some money that I owed her sister (I’d type in age but I don’t know it, I have never met her sister). I told her to tell her sister to reach out to me and I would pay her sister directly, she was very upset that I wouldn’t just pay her to pay her sister. She started insulting me and calling me a loser and coward, saying she hated me, saying “F\*\*\* you” and blowing up my phone with a dozen angry text messages. I told her I wasn’t gonna read the messages and I was gonna block her and delete her contact and message history. Once I did this my friend texted me that she’s very upset.
I’m very confused, I thought she was happy and didn’t care and successfully moved on, we didn’t even have a serious relationship, I treated her quite well the whole time. Why was she so angry? Why does she not care?
2 comments
I’m going to speculate that it’s not at all about you and her, and probably more about the money, and her coming after you for it.
For some reason, I suspect that if you gave the money to this woman, it would never make it to her sister. This is why dealing directly with the sister was unacceptable, because it denied her the opportunity to intercept the money for herself.
Blowing up your phone with angry messages further supports this idea. If the sister getting back the money was really the goal, she wouldn’t be angry about your offer to work directly with her… in fact, she’d probably be *thrilled*.
So her relationship with your friend, and with you, probably have nothing to do with this.
It’s all about $$$.
Ask your friend to pass on your contact info to the sister. Pay her and be done
Given that she’s engaged after just four days, I’m guessing that she has issues that extend beyond you.