As you have gotten older, has your perception on gender debate/war changed, and how?

27 comments

1. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to keep to myself. Peace of mind is what I want, and anything that can potentially ruin that is cut off instantly.

2. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve wisened up to the part that no one gives a shit about what my opinion is!!!

3. I’ve learned that any men who have a problem with the majority of women are losers, and any women who have a problem with the majority of men are also losers. Normal people don’t generalize or engage in a “gender war,” and unsurprisingly don’t experience all the supposed widespread societal problems that the aforementioned losers are so adamant about.

4. I have not changed my mind one bit.

5. As I got older I realized the women I was specifically complaining about were very small in number and I wasn’t operating in reality. There was never a focus on height when I was younger, and now I see like 100 posts a day about guys complaining that women hate them for being 5’9”, ignoring that they also usually have the most repellent personality possible. Guys take a lot less responsibility for being bad with women than when I was young. Used to just be “I cant talk to em” and now its “The femoids are against me”.

6. > Have your positions shifted in either direction?

   Definitely have become more understanding of where women are coming from and why they feel the way they do. I still see the same problems as before, but am able to explain their cause as societal/technological rather than women causing them by being unempathetic or short-sighted.

   I also see myself being proven right on some things, as the issues I was arguing for 10 years ago are now mainstream to the point I hear men who are not into internet spaces or academics at all mention them.

   > Has your interest/zeal fluctuated?

   I definitely give fewer fucks now. People, as a whole, are dumb. And I would be acting dumb if I continued sticking my head in thought spaces filled with misandry debates and invalidation, and accomplishing relatively little. (I’d like to think I convinced at least a few dozen people in my years of being a Professional Redditor™)

   > Were there factors that catalyzed these changes, such as a relationship or trauma or a random epiphany?

   It’s been mostly post-covid, as I gave up trying to find the right person to lose my virginity to, and decided to try my hardest to get it over with. After that, I started trying more on dating apps, which led to a couple dates/hookups since then, and getting to know a variety of girls on that level (albeit a very small sample) helped me see what they were facing in the dating world, as well as how little some of them bring to the table, and how they reason about and view things. Having several very close friendships with women has also been eye-opening, on the same grounds, but in different ways.

7. It’s changed twice, setting aside the gradual shifts between. Initially, didn’t care and avoided the whole thing as much as possible. Then once I started to care, I started to pay attention and look for facts and the best arguments available. That’s the point where I realized that it’s entirely women’s fault, they’re getting what they want and have been for a long time, after having the ability to vote forced on them against their will (most women were against getting the vote before they had it, it was a small but loud minority who wanted it). I stayed in that state of mind for a while, before the final shift. Now I don’t really care a whole lot anymore, though still some, and I still point the finger of blame at women in general. The difference is that I’ve walked away. Someone much wiser than I once said “be careful what you wish for, you just might get it”. They got what they wished for, now we’ll see how much they like it. It’s no longer my business, but I do have concerns for the upcoming generations, who are pretty well screwed by the whole mess.

8. Not really even as a young lad i had a more mature understanding of both. Knowing what sex was, how many holes a girl had down there, and even was not worried or afraid of death but that death of a loved one can be sad.

9. I’m naturally a compassionate and empathetic person who roots for the under dog.

   This has kind of made me a lot of friends in the lgbtq community.

   I would say 60% of my friends are literally gay or lesbian and I never judged.

   I do however think that mixing children into the subject is a line that we could maybe not cross so aggressively and push it.

   It’s all you see in the news.

   I think in an attempt to be progressive everybody is just pushing basic human decency and rights to their limits for social validation.

   So that being said, I tend to find myself agreeing with more right wing politics.

   Which is kind of like a counter intuitive way to feel, as I am accepting of gay people but also do not vibe with their narrative.

   There are some points they make which are factual and worth hearing but it seems like a virtue signal to me most of the times.

   Nietzche warned against the slave mentality or herd mentality and that’s what I feel like this movement is culturally.

   Feminism and racial issues get lumped in together with gender and it seems like a group of banded minorities just being angry they aren’t straight white men. And then over empathetic white people virtue signalling to become part of the angry group of victims.

   I also don’t trust the intentions of tribal white hating minorities who are also misandrist against men for simple having a gender.

   They complain about a lot of issues like white men making more money, but they’d rather complain than to put their money where the mouths are.

   When you see minorities who have made it, they always have a hardworking attitude and usually don’t subscribe to being a victim which I respect way more.

   War? I’d fight for my country if invaded…for my family. But I’m not going and fighting for some rich man somewhere far away.

10. I just try to be a decent dude. All I’ve ever done.

    The rest is just…watching the mud fly online and occasionally posting an observation.

11. yes. I’m very skeptical of women. divorce has made me even moreso.

12. I’ve learned men have a lot of emotional issues and problems that they face every day, many insecurities and struggles that are placed and perpetuated by men and women alike. But no one cares, and if a man tries to bring up their problems, they are immediately disregarded, laughed at and ignored. And if that is pointed out, people get mad.

13. I’ve always been for “a fair go” but as I age and learn more the more I realise that I’ve had a lot of advantages for a variety of reasons, gender is one of them. So for people to get a fair go, some need a bigger hand up.

    I’ve also realised that my gender has disadvantages too.

    But the thing is. Generally the problems for men are caused by the men in charge or its men committing the crimes. So like its men who send men to war. It’s men who generally encourage men to burry their emotions rather than being in balance with them. It’s men who coward punch men at 3am outside a bar etc etc.

    Having said that. As I’ve seen women get into more positions of power over the decades. I think its fair to say that every group has people prone to abusing power. So while more men are in charge of things men will cause more problems. But as things equal out, women will be an equal share of the people causing problems.

    Of course there are some way that men will always have the advantage, say muscle mass. So its likely that men will always be the cause of more violence.

14. It’s the same. I’ve never cared about it.

15. I have gotten way more pessimistic. I used to think that all women were hetero, liked sex, and liked men. Now I don’t think any of these things. I think only a small portion of men will ever be in love. And the rest of us are going to die alone, while the women have lesbian sex orgies.

16. Not a single thing has changed except I view women as humans now not sex objects.

17. When I was young and naive in many things – mother was a feminist. Its funny, but her hope has failed in some ways, due in no small part of how modern feminist have manipulated the masses. The fact her sons are so against her stance that should in no small part – be making her roll over in her grave.

    how did I get here and what made me move my stance. Working in a woman dominated field for one. There are some personal points as well – as I mention my mothers passing, etc., Also how in part I have been treated in general especially within the last say 15 years the slope of the slide has gotten much more steep.

    So I would say my perception has changed. I have learned more and removed the blinders to the rhetoric that modern feminist use. The same narrowed conversations to make women look as the victims. etc., such garbarge tired old approach. I worry about the younger generation that are being lead to the poison trough of modern education, and ***the lack of counter arguments being offered in such “saintly” institutions***. Without this – how can a strong base of common ground be had. frankly it can not.

    so in total I would say I am more jaded in how women think, and harder now. I look at them as to what the angle they shooting for and how they are going to try to get it. Sex, flattery, or some thin veneer they think is going to pull the wool over some ones eyes.

    so yes I have moved from one spectrum to the other over time.

18. Why would I give a fuck about such silly semantics? Be yourself and worry about yourself.

19. I’ve learned to never listen to what anyone says online about those things. There’s only bait, bots, loudmouths and trolls on both sides there/here. In reality there’s little to none discussion about genders.

20. I think if these people spent a 1/5th of the time they spend bitching online about the opposite sex as they do having social interactions we would be in a place.

21. I’ve started caring less. I’ve realised that There are indeed crazy women out there – but it’s not too hard to avoid them.

22. Observed most of the time, put out my two cents here and there and when I learnt the most relevant lessons from the whole drama I moved on. There is no reason for me to fight anyone on behalf of other just as capable adults

23. Less of a reductionist now.

24. I continue to support people’s self autonomy as long as it doesn’t directly impact me. That has not changed.

    If someone wants to identify as nonbinary and fuck their gender fluid partner, that’s fine with me.

    If you are neither and want to criticize them, fuck off.

25. I realized it is a cope of undateable, Trigglypuff looking women who spend their days playing with Fluffy who hates them.

    This realization came to me around the age of 21 when i had to take a “Women’s Studies” class to graduate.

26. I’m old enough that nobody talked about a “gender war” when I came of age. There were complaints, of course, like “Don’t you hate when women do…?” or “I’m sick of when guys do…!” But the idea that there was some colossal struggle between the genders or that some organization called “the patriarchy” needed to be taken down was mostly restricted to fringe academia. It wasn’t a topic that really affected interpersonal relationships.

27. It didn’t change for me. I cared less and less about it until I run out of fucks. Don’t include me in that debate and gtfo.