Why are you not happy in your relationship?

26 comments

  1. He lacks self awareness, self-accountability, find the thousands reasons for abuse and self-absorbed.

  3. Neglect, hot and cold, doesn’t prioritize me “as much as he should” his words, every moment of emotional connection is on his terms. Doesn’t acknowledge a lot of my small bids for attention. This is why he’s now my ex/situationship lol.

  5. He doesn’t try to understand me in a deeper level. This causes many misunderstandings.
    I have to tell him my needs every time, he just forgets.

  6. I guess i have the mentality of a guy… Not enough sex… I miss the honeymoon period… We’ve only been living together and married for 1-2 years… Already I’m numb to it… Thinking… “this is it…?”… I envy single people… An yes i love my husband… But when they say marriage kills your sex life they aren’t joking. And we don’t have kids. On top of the fact he’s on antidepressants and now every time we try to do it, i bleed… I just miss… The passion.. The lust.. The romance… Yes i love him.. But the roommate phase is real.. And it can happen even if you don’t have kids…

    The people who choose to stay single bc they enjoy sex, i honestly don’t blame them, for both men and women. Because you only live once…

    He seems happier now that his labido is down… Now he doesn’t want to even discuss sex like we use to…

    Maybe im wrong, but sex is one of the main things that differiants it from a platonic relationship, or just friends…

  7. I have an issue with his porn usage. I’ve communicated that it makes me feel insecure, amongst other things. But society has normalized it so much that I think I’m crazy for having an issue with it. I also don’t think it’s fair of me to ask him to quit because it’s really not my business to tell someone what to do with their personal time. So I just sit with my emotions, hoping I’ll get over it eventually.

  8. Out of being young and just not knowing any better, I let a lot of severe red flags slide at the very beginning of our relationship. Though we’ve both done a lot of growing and he isn’t even remotely the same as he was when we first started going out (a little over 6 years ago), I can’t seem to permanently shake what it’s done to my sense of self as a now young adult

  9. We are supposedly trying to work on it. He’s admitted he’s been selfish and often considered his needs above mine instead of finding compromises with me or just giving me the small things that would make me immensely happy (hello, video date to watch a cute holiday movie together so we can close the physical distance at least a little bit while we are apart). Most of the time when we are together we focus on things he likes… going out to drink with his friends, trying food places. Whereas I would love to go to a local space museum, go rock climbing or hiking, and play a game together. I like drinking and trying food too, I’m just bothered that those are the only activities we ever do together. When he has rarely indulged in something I’m interested in trying together he would always redirect it towards something he likes better in some way. I called him out on this last night and supposedly next time I visit he intends on finally going to that museum with me. Right now there’s not a lot of flirting or attempt at showing sexual interest, while I displayed pretty consistent levels of thirst. I’ve pulled back a bit out of respect but also because I’m sad it isn’t reciprocated. Sex started out with more mutual pleasure but lately the focus is on his. He stated he was open to trying my interests in bed (which aren’t all that kinky, what I’ve proposed) and every time I bring one of them up it’s always “we will try that next time” with no follow through.

    There are also some greater issues, like when I tell him directly how I like to be supported when I’m down, he somehow always needs reminding *while* I’m going through that hard time. I try my best to support him in ways he feels love, like calls and giving a few days of space or limited contact, and offering to send him things like soup or medicine when he’s sick. It just feels like I have to fight or pitch a fit to feel considered, which is discouraging because I’ve tried hard to learn to kindly and calmly present my wants and needs to my partner without putting them on the defensive. It’s weird and exhausting to have to get highly emotional just to be taken seriously. It’s also emotionally exhausting to have to say so over and over again when I’m already emotionally exhausted by life and my depression.

    I’m supposed to visit him in Jan. I almost broke up with him over the phone, but he asked if we could be in person, reconnect and have a heart to heart before we resort to breaking up. I’m really not that confident in how things are going right now, but he’s become a better listener and more empathetic lately so maybe there’s more hope than I am thinking.

  10. How many women actually fantasize and or would act on said fantasies about Jesus? Aka the real slim shady 😂

  11. I feel like we don’t have a deep emotional connection, he’s also very passive aggressive and disagreeable making communication undesirable

  12. I hate physical touch, I despise it. I don’t want to hug, kiss, or cuddle. (It’s not just him, I’ve felt this way towards every partner, friend, and family member I’ve ever had) but his love language is physical touch. And I feel like I’m failing him as a partner if I don’t do those things (sex is fine, but I HATE foreplay of any kind)

  14. I don’t think he actually likes me a person anymore , he gone down the red pill route and talks about me not being in my prime, over time he started telling me I’m irritating and annoying now he tells me at least once a week I’m irritating or annoying. Gets annoyed if the house isn’t spotless- we both have very good jobs I’m expected to do most of the house work because he took on a single mum. Currently pregnant and he’s told me he worried I won’t loose baby weight- I’m actually haven’t put on any weight as yet and he isn’t attracted to pregnant bodies ( that isn’t an issue most men aren’t) but I’m luck that he still has sex with me. No he wasn’t always like this. I do think he has the capacity to treat someone he likes and loves well in just not that woman. I am quietly grieving what I thought was going to be my forever person ready to face life as a single mum of three.

  15. I’m overall happy with my partner but nobody can have everything. He’s good-looking, smart, kind, overall treats me well and is so fun… but he’s not the most empathetic person. It’s not bad enough that I’m unhappy in the relationship, but I wish we shared that

  16. he sucks:///… i remember how when we first got close he told me i deserved better than a fool like him. months later, he was fucking right and that should’ve been my cue to leave.

  17. The same day I said I love you to my bf, I read a text he sent about me to some friend of his. He said, “well I am seeing someone, but calling her my partner would be too strong”.
    It’s been a year since we dating. I think I gave him too much and got really invested while he just gave me crumbs.

  18. His happiness is the only thing that matters. If I want to do something and it’s a inconvenience for him then I shouldn’t be doing it. I could go on and on. Now he wonders why I’m cold.

  19. I don’t know that I’m not happy, but I also don’t know that I am happy. Been together almost 3 years, we’re engaged, both in our mid 20s, he’s really great and I love him. But it’s so hard being with someone that just doesn’t have a sex drive and if I bring up that we don’t have the sex life I want he just gets sad and upset and starts saying he’s sorry and that I’m making him feel bad. Just not completely compatible with sex I guess.

  21. he lied to me for our entire relationship.. found out at the beginning of this year and while he has been swearing up and down he wants to be better i haven’t been okay. i just can’t get over it.

    how easily he constantly lied to my face. how gross his messages and behaviour were to women online. his excessive porn consumption, the texts to his ex.. the cam girls.. all the money he pretended not to have to spend this way.

    he says he has changed for real but after weeks of manipulation and deception i just don’t believe him. i can’t.
    he was so perfect. my world. now i feel disgusted when i look at him. sometimes i still love him so much but i cant help that i see him for what he is.. a liar.

  23. I struggle to be the wife he deserves. One who’s attentive and keeps her family up well. One who’s able to worship him when he needs it and humanize him when he needs it.

  25. He has a strong bachelor mentality. We’ve been dating for almost a year and he can’t tell me he loves me. We don’t talk about a future together; no mention of what moving in together, getting married or having a family would be like. The only way we spend “quality time” together is to go out to the bar and drink. He’s 38 and hasn’t lived with a partner in over 15 years.

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