I’m (22M) friend with a girl(25F) at Work for more than 2 years. She is attractive and have good figure. We got good bond always talk joke around, have lunch at work pretty good so far. But slowly things going intense between us. And we’re getting close more and more. And we hooked up at her apartment this weekend. Sex was amazing but after that I’m unable to focus in work. And I think I ruined my friendship with her. Now everything is different between us. I want everything back normal as it was before sex. I know she is beautiful hot and had good time together but I don’t want any relationship right now. And I’m scared that I will loose her if I tell her that.
5 comments
Sex *transforms* friendships. Whatever level of intimacy you shared before now has a new layer added onto it and no, you can’t just magically wind the clock back and pretend like that layer wasn’t added.
Two friends can be sexual and then stop being sexual and still be friends but that requires *both* people to want that outcome. And regardless, whatever friendship could exist later isn’t going to look exactly like it was before. It will be different but that doesn’t make it worse.
But it may also be that sleeping together changes what she wants out of your friendship and if you’re not interested in taking it there (or vice versa) then that could very well end your friendship.
This is *always* the risk with sleeping with a friend.
Sometimes, depending on those involved
Usually in my view friendship and sex don’t mingle and pertain to different areas, so when adding a sexual component to a friendship of course it will change. But also nowadays it seems a lot of people have friends with benefits so maybe I am wrong and it can add up, depend on the people involved ?
Anyways if you don’t want any relationship now, you’ve got to be clear with you and her : do you want to go back before and not having sex anymore ? do you want to keep intimacy AND keep the friendship ? and then you will have to talk to her to sort it out, maybe she wants the same, maybe not, that’s not solely on you anymore now that she is involved.
If you are having sex with someone…they are no longer truly your friend. I don’t know what you want to call it, but that isn’t a normal friendship.
And honestly you both should have discussed this before hooking up. Now you may have a mess on your hands
I think what you really fear is a relationship….because she sounds like an ideal girlfriend.