I’ve been seeing this guy casually for a month. We both don’t plan on long tirm serious relationship. He asked my thoughts on our casual relationship. I told him I wouldn’t stop him from seeing other girls but I would feel jealous and obviously won’t feel good about it. He said he’s not going to be looking for other girls, but if it happens naturally, than it happens.
But when I was out of town for 2 weeks, he told me he met a girl at the club. And just kissed and slept at the other girl’s place, who lives in the same town, I got really pissed.
He told me our relationship is different, and special.(It is true, we have nice connection and chemistry, there’s no doubt in this) The “other girls” would be just ons. I don’t have to worry. He told me thats why he don’t like telling me all this. And I feel so weird about this. I think he wants someone to come back to whenever he feels lonely. And see someone else whenever I’m out of town.
We are going to have a conv about this next week when I come back to town. I think the easiest way is to tell him and make us exclusive but even if I convince him to stop seeing other girls, how can I trust him from? He can just lie.
This is first time I’ve encountered this kind of situation. I need some advice on how to tell him. How I should carry this situation?
6 comments
You’re a place holder while he finds someone he likes more. If he was into you he’d be exclusive, but he doesn’t want to be. Nothing wrong with that, enjoy the sex and keep meeting people too.
If you’re getting jealous you are probably not suited for open relationships. Also you probably shouldn’t tell people it is casual when you don’t feel that way.
Hi there. By trying to work things out with this guy, you’ll be putting yourself in a tough spot. On the one hand, if you really want to continue having this casual relationship, you’ll have to discard the complete transparency since you can’t handle the truth that he might (and likely will) continue sleeping with other girls. On the other hand, if you opt to become exclusive, first, he needs to agree to it, and secondly, you’ll have to trust him. So the question is, can you? Hesitating is an indication that your trust level isn’t quite there yet.
So to answer your question, there is simply no fancy way of putting it. Be straightforward about it. You want an exclusive casual relationship with him, so say as it is. Good luck!
*He told me our relationship is different, and special.(It is true, we have nice connection and chemistry, there’s no doubt in this) The “other girls” would be just ons. I don’t have to worry. He told me thats why he don’t like telling me all this. And I feel so weird about this. I think he wants someone to come back to whenever he feels lonely. And see someone else whenever I’m out of town.*
Of course he did. He’s telling you what you want to hear, so he can keep you on the hook. People can have chemistry in the moment and not feel anything afterward. He’s living his life, and you’re his back burner girl whenever he’s lonely. If you’re jealous of other girls, you’d better get used to it.
So you mentioned not being in a long term/serious relationship, seems like a casual sort of situation. Should clear up confusion before continuing seeing him.
You’re nothing but a back burner. Someone to run to whenever he gets lonely. Better to leave now before you get anymore feelings.