How do you guys deal with this, it happened more than once so got me thinking.

[I originally wanted to make a sample with her but I’ll do this instead](https://youtu.be/PmYvEAxrbKU?si=1USnkzeO90zEeQcY)

25 comments

  2. Didn’t see the post and I know you probably feel really shitty but just remember. One looks are subjective and two for the most part it doesn’t really matter I can honestly say I personally know lots of less than attractive guys that still do pretty well for themselves dating wise. So rather than focusing on the aspects of yourself you can’t change try.. and I know this sounds corny but focus on being the best version of yourself

  3. Here is the thing. As long as you were just asking her on a date, and didn’t stawk her, cheat on her or anything @”, then anyone who responds with anything other than “no thank you” or” I don’t feel the same way about you “, that is on them.

    What you have perhaps learned is that a woman who you found attractive is, in fact, ugly inside. And that is not a reflection on you as long as you were respectful in the asking.

    In the 12 step community there is a saying that is often shared with people with are dealing with abusive Alcoholics ” if they call you a chair, does that make you a chair”

    The other thing that you want to be asking yourself is why you are taking her word for it? Is she a professional portrait photographer? Is she a casting agent for a large Hollywood studio? What qualifications does she possess that makes her the arbitror for who is attractive, and who… Isn’t? Like we all know some guy who has absolutely terrible taste in women. Like he brings you his new girlfriend and he has been talking her up, and then you finally meet her and she is as some kind of meth head with green teeth, half of which are missing. You are getting all bent out shape about the opinion of this woman, and she may have the worst taste in what is attractive in men of any woman on the planet.

    Why take her word for it.

  4. The lower you are on the attraction scale (to an extent which almost nobody I’ve seen has reached) the more likely the one you get is “the one”.

  5. If she called you ugly while rejecting you I think you dodged a huge bullet because that’s extremely mean.

    People are entitled to their life choices but going out of their way to make you feel less is awful behaviour and energy that you don’t need in your life.

    Don’t listen to that sub, if you want to improve yourself, find a sub that gives you possible tips on how to improve (in terms of hair, grooming, posture etc)

  7. Wait is that link you provided her voice mail? If so, what did you say to her that made her so upset?

  8. I believe looks are always in your control.

    Bad hairstyle? Find a new barber.
    Bad dressing sense? Find better clothes.
    Bad body shape? Hit the gym.
    Bad facial looks? Reduce body fat and get a jawline. See what suits you – grow a beard or clean shave.

    Make this rejection your motivation and get over it.

  9. This world is brutal fuck. I don’t know what to tell you man. People are shallow and cruel as fuck. I learned that at a very young age. If I were you I’d get jacked as hell and do everything possible to become more attractive

  10. This is probably not the healthiest way and probably borderline narcissistic but I say consider her delusional for saying that. Just don’t accept it, you know? You know for a fact you’re not ugly and anyone who says differently is clearly a mental patient, simple. One thing I notice helps me and lots of other girls in general is listening to songs with confidence boosting lyrics. I assume you’re a guy and so I don’t know if there’s a lot of songs “directed towards men” that are like that but I suggest maybe trying that.

    Secondly, start to look the way you want to. Buy the clothes you want to wear because you’ll feel the most confident in them, and style your hair the way you like. Start exercising, not necessarily for a better body but that just makes people happier. Take care of your body through hygiene—a lot of people who think they’re ugly or who others think are ugly are just unkempt. Also, invest in your hobbies and decorate your space. Then if another delusional person comes around and says some shit like that, you can brush it off easier because you’re already about 70% happy with yourself and content with your life and environment.

  13. Ugliness comes from within not from without people have no right to judge without first looking at themselves your question should have been what makes you think I’m ugly not am i ugly as only you know the answer

  14. The reality is there will always be people that think you’re ugly. That’s how it goes for ALL OF US. Even the celebrities who are “objectively” attractive are seen as ugly by some people. I know some people would probably find me ugly as hell. But I don’t let it get to me because I couldn’t care less about what strangers think. There are plenty of other people who don’t find me ugly. Life goes on.

  15. You know the saying “one mans trash is another mans treasure”? Some people aren’t gonna like you, or the way you look, and that’s okay, what matters is that YOU like yourself, and the way you look, that builds confidence within yourself and draws the right folks in. If someone’s this shallow and surface level about at least talking, you shouldn’t be asking yourself what should be done to get closer to them, you should be asking what can be done to get further from them. You don’t need that energy in your life.
    I wanna say as well, a weird thing that helps me is to imagine yourself as a fruit. Perhaps a cherry, or maybe an apricot? Some people don’t like cherries or apricots, and some LOVE cherries and apricots, find the people who love and cherish the cherry or apricot 🙂

  16. Yo no soy feo, a algunas chicas les parezco atractivo pero me han rechazado por mi falta de experiencia, y personalidad de “chico bueno o chico bonito”, la verdad gente no sé que hacer… Esto ha sucedido varias veces, las chicas me suelen ver como un amigo más que novio. Talvez debería ser más malo, atrevido o fuerte? Aún estoy joven, creo que hay remedio. Recomendar mejorar tu apariencia sirve pero no es suficiente, mejora tu confianza y labia también.

  17. I looked your profile post showing yourself and no you are not that ugly. Just need to lose weight, get haircut or grow it long.
    Welll,, your nose tip is kind of unusually large pulpous looking in that pic and could be fixed is surgery i suppose, but theres really nothing that ugly other than that. Dress better, better hairstyle and lose weight. Atractiveness is like cocktail of multiple things and you have to learn how to make it

    This usually works:
    Run or some other cardio to burn fat from face.
    Dress well/cool and fitting haircut.
    If needed some surgery

    Personality and behavior is big part of it also

  18. You are likely not ugly appearance wise, but there are probably other aspects of you that makes you seem ugly (personality, interests, behaviors, what you say/communication style, who knows).

    It hurts for sure, but a person’s perspectives or opinions of you aren’t facts. It’s not your job to figure out the whys, but how and what you will do to carry forward that will determine your outcomes.

    I’m speaking from experience. Don’t let other people’s judgments or harsh criticisms cloud what is efficient or important to your development. Only you can decide how to go on without hatred, but with kindness and self-love.

  20. This has happened to me before. Actually my first ever crush that i asked out at that time he said he has a girlfriend. Later i found out that he was single at time time. After few years when we contacted he said he was single his whole life. And he also commented on my body saying you look fat , how much you weigh and all. And then he called me ugly. I was 21 when this happened. I never date anybody. Like no one.

    Now i’m 26 and i still don’t have courage to date anyone. My head always tells me that i’m not good enough to attract someone. Actually i kinda believe it because all these years not a single boy asked me out. I still think about it.

    Am I really ugly? Is it okay to be ugly? Does ugly girls can fall in love and live a happy life?

  21. One person’s ugly is another person’s handsome. Listen, don’t start thinking you’re ugly cos you’re not. People really underestimate the impact and cruelty of thier words and they aren’t worth it.

  22. 40-year old woman here. I saw your photo and don’t think you’re ugly or below average at all. People will call others ugly just to hurt them. Imagine what that girl is like in a relationship if she is this mean already.

    The other poster below is right that someone will always think we are ugly, no matter how conventionally attractive we are.

  23. i’m sorry this situation happened. i just looked at your page and i don’t think you’re ugly at all. you seem like you’re in the midst of building your own aesthetic and style. what you’ve got going on seems like it’s working for you – you’ll find your way that eventually brings you to the people that cherish and value you as a person. i always think of the term “rejection is protection” in these situations. this door may be closed, but an even better one is bound to open for you. 🙂

  24. If that was her, she sounds like she smokes and is an alcoholic and has been for 40 years

  25. Assholic behavior says everything about them and nothing about you. You’re doing great pal, keep being you, you deserve someone kind

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