I’ve know for a while that my (24f) husband (24m) wants a separation. He just keeps telling me that he wants to work on himself but won’t get anymore specific than that. He says he doesn’t feel the way he used to feel about me.
I moved into an apartment on the first of this month. I texted him that I love him this morning and he responded back that he didn’t know how to respond to me. He knows I love him but he can’t say it back. Then he said he had to get back to work and would talk to me later.
I dont know what to do. I feel so defeated. I love him so much and this hurts. I dont want this separation. I agreed to it becuase this was the “working it out” option but he won’t even say what’s wrong. He just keeps saying he wants time to himself to work on him and that his goal in the separation is to work on him not our relationship.
We have 2 kids. I dont want a divorce and he says that isn’t what he wants either but he still sticks to wanting a separation. We started dating in 2015 and have been married since 2018.
This separation is supposed to last 6 months but I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do here. I feel like I shouldn’t have to wait 6 months to find out if my husband wants to be married to me.
I’m heartbroken and I don’t know what to do. Any advice is appreciated.
TLDR: husband wants and got a separation. I don’t want this and I don’t know how to work on us when he won’t talk to me.
2 comments
I hate to be so blunt but I don’t know how else to say it. He’s slow dumping you. He hasn’t got the guts to tell you that it’s over so he’s framing it as a trial separation and him needing to work on himself.
I’m really sorry that you’re going through this. It really sucks that he can’t just do the decent thing and tell you that it’s over. People who behave like this are as bad as people who ghost.
My advice, for what it’s worth, is to ignore what he’s saying about it being a six month separation. Start trying to get your head around this being permanent. Lean on your family and friends for support because they will want to be there for you to help you through this. You don’t need to go through it alone.
Edit: Jesus, just looked at your post history. Your husband is leaving you to continue his emotional affair – and you’re desperately posting about how much you want him back? I’m really sorry this is happening to you but you need to get some self-respect. Do you want your kids to think they should be treated like this in relationships?
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I’m sorry – but your husband is leaving you. Nobody gets separated to “work on themselves,” they get separated because they want a divorce and, for whatever reason, can’t fully commit to one out of the gate.
You should treat this like what it is: the end of your marriage. I’m sorry, I know you are heartbroken and this is probably overwhelming – but it is what’s happening.
You are so young! 24 is just the beginning. I know having kids will make this even harder but you have a whole future ahead of you – and it gets so much better than this – it really does! But it’s a future without your husband. I echo the other commenter’s advice: Treat this as what it is, and reach out to your friends and family.
You don’t have to go through it alone.