How do guys find themselves GFs? Like.. for real..

30 comments

1. hm thats strange, what do you normally talk to the girls about? and also since your friends have some expirience, why dont you ask them what youre doing wrong? and what kind of girls do you typically go for?

2. Easier said then done but the recipe is: Effort, Humor, and Fun.

   In my experience girls will eat out of your hand if you can make them laugh and show them a good time. Don’t take yourself too seriously and be playful with your interactions with them to start then once you get the friendship started you can have more of the concrete/serious conversations but don’t stop with the playful banter/flirting and if they are receptive you need to escalate the flirting or you’ll be friendzoned.

3. 1. Make her feel special – no girl wants to feel like you’d go out with anyone who says yes. She wants to feel like she is special to you and that you solo’d her out because of something about her that you like. Get to know them a bit, find out what makes them special, then compliment them and ask them questions and let them talk about themselves.
   2. Ask her out – when youre talking, if she mentions she loves iced coffee, ask “Hey, do you want to meet up with me at the boardwalk and grab an iced coffee tomorrow?” the key is to find out what kind of things she likes then invite her to do that thing. If she says no, no big deal, keep being friendly and chalk it up to experience gained. Try again with the next girl you meet that you like.
   3. Follow through – confirm your date the morning of the date “hey, still up for iced coffee at the boardwalk this afternoon?” then after, thank her for the date and ask her out again “I had a great time walking on the boardwalk with you this afternoon. I saw this new restaurant that opened up down the street from me, want to check it out tomorrow?”
   4. Repeat – if you like her, keep asking her out, keep going out. If you don’t like her, be cordial and polite, and then move on to someone new. Repeat the process, keep asking her out, keep getting to know her, keep making her feel special and adored and cherished. When you find the woman you like, move slow with the physical affection, never get sexual via text or phone until you’ve already slept together. Holding hands is a good first step, then kissing, then let her take the lead on when anything else happens. When you find the right woman, this process will turn her into your girlfriend.

4. Flirting, humor, charisma and also respect boundaries. Maybe you look intimidating

5. Don’t lie, be relaxed, show compassion, be confident, and compliment them.

   If you can, make them laugh, I am 100% more likely to go out with a guy that makes me laugh than one that doesn’t. If you get me to snort, then you’ve definitely got a chance.

   Also, don’t be afraid. Women are not aliens, we’re just like men with just a few different external bits.

   You’re gonna do fine hun. 🙂

6. The bars and clubs are not the best place to meet people. Man, I hate shouting in people’s ears to have a conversation. I was just in a noisy bar and missed some funny stories from the lady 3 feet from me.

   You’re younger than me, so maybe that isn’t an issue!

   What are you talking to people about? What do your buddies talk to them about? What topics do the women bring up?

7. Stop looking, focus on your life and your goals and happiness. Learn to enjoy being alone with yourself….when you reach your peak level of zen: BOOM 💥 they will flock to you.

   I was a relationship addict and then was single for 5 years, I moved across country, tried new things, met new people, moved back home again but now older and not as “hot”, but once I got my dog and didn’t really show interest in dating, I was catching all the fish without any bait.

   If you already love yourself, maybe try to hang with your friends and their girlfriends. Girlfriends have friends and If your buddies gfs like hanging out with you, it won’t be long before one of them “has a friend that would be PERFECT for you”

   Edit: changed a not to a now

8. Dude that’s my exact situation. I’m a bit younger but the amount of girls other classmates had seems almost unreal.

9. Go ballroom dancing

10. You don’t find, you attract. And you got to get yourself out there too, like going to social events, having a hobby that intersects with strangers, etc.

11. This helped me majorly when I was in this spot: go out of your way to hang out with girls you don’t want to fuck or have a romantic relationship with (I.e.: family, friends close enough to be family, people who aren’t your type and aren’t into you, people too old for you or with some other dealbreaker that isn’t a toxic thing, etc.). Talk and listen. Not just to what is said but HOW. Ask their opinions and perspectives on stuff and don’t dismiss them. Form closer connections with these trusted women in your life without the implication of romantic companionship. After that, Talking to women you are into and getting them interested in continuing to talk to you will happen automatically!

    And if it doesn’t… then congrats! You’ve cultivated a support network of women to get advice and ideas from.

12. Humor worked every single time, and it helps you as well. Just be yourself and yep.

13. Same as me but I’m the opposite sex 😭 sometimes it’s hard

14. Corny dad jokes

15. It’s not too difficult. I’m semi fat – not good looking, and I don’t have “game”.
    I just talk to people and be genuine.

16. What might help is to talk to them like you would one of your buddies. Also, emotionally removing yourself from the situation and just being present will help you immensely with your interactions. Try telling more jokes, not just to the girl but to everybody in the room. Be more opinionated and outspoken. Don’t go into the interactions with their approval or feelings in mind. You need to set yourself apart from your friends. Keep topics light and don’t turn it into a game of 21 questions. If you start to see their interest dwindling try to break off before them and don’t take it personally.

17. Believe it or not you’re in the same situation as myself and hundreds of thousands of other men probably. There are so many factors to dating that are out of our control so don’t feel bad about it.
    You might compare yourself to your friends but at the end of the day it will probably appear that their dating life is better than it actually is. Maybe they just try harder than you do or are super comfortable with rejection. Or maybe they are good at flirting and you feel uncomfortable speaking to women in that way. Maybe youve been completely blind to signals girls have given you.
    There isn’t enough info to say much, but one thing is for sure, if you keep trying to be a better person and actually take advantage of opportunities to show girls you like that you’re interested in them, then eventually you will find yourself with someone you really care about.
    You may feel lonely now but if you focus on yourself you will just keep on having more and more to offer as time goes by. And just to be clear improving your social skills is part of working on yourself

18. Sounds like you might have to play host. Your friends are the ones bringing the girls, right? I don’t know if there’s some psychological explanation behind this, but even when introduced to others, guests tend to cling to whoever invited them until familiarity is established. It might be easier if the same girls were invited multiple times or if you were the one introducing them. Familiarity is sometimes more powerful than physical attraction because it gives you a context in their lives.

19. Sorry this isn’t answering your question, but what classes/hobbies are you referring to? I’m involved in a lot of stuff, but find most of the areas I’m in are female-dominated, and I do find myself idly wondering where the heck all the men are—playing sports and video games, it seems, but I wonder what else beyond that.

20. Don’t be uptight, Don’t try to talk like gentleman be little freaky, compliment them, yourself, break the comfort barrier if you find opening, try being physical not sexually but in friendly way.. Dont be boring like 70% guys who try to impress female by doing chivalry thing from movies most girls get that treatment from like every guy and they are not interested

21. Talk to them, like normal people, a lot of them. When I hear guys making these complaints that’s always, always the problem, not talking, and they’ll blame everything under the sun without realizing it’s just a matter of getting to know lots of people a little, and a numbers game.

    And you’ll have to talk to them without expecting to arrange a date of the bat necessarily either. It’s simple but it can be hard, if you’re an introvert.

22. > I have gone out to bars and clubs with my guy friends also but it’s always them getting some random girl and I never get any attention even if *they* bring a girl to the table

    > I try talking to the girls *my friends interact with* but there is never any spark or interest from them to continue talking with me longer than 10 minutes or so before they are just scanning the environment or talking to my other friends.

    So you’re just sitting there, waiting for your friends to bring girls that they’ve already chatted up over to the table, and hoping that these girls, *who they’ve* ***already chatted up*** take a liking to you instead.

    Frankly, it sounds like you don’t take risks, you aren’t exciting to talk to, and you’re waiting for an opportunity to fall in your lap, or your friends to do the work for you, rather than creating an opportunity.

    Since you don’t approach women, you have little game and are more worried about not saying the wrong thing than saying something interesting.

23. Go talk to a girl by yourself during the day. It’s an easier environment to practice. Work on your good vibes energy, be genuine, don’t focus on the outcome, and be a little playful. Throw in a little compliment here or there but don’t overkill it. Talk about things you really are interested in and engage with her to do the same. If it goes well, ask for her number and suggest something fun right there so you guys have something to text about while you learn a little more. Give her like a few days if you make a plan near the weekend bc if it is Thursday, her Friday is likely already booked. Go out on date. Maybe you’ll want another date and you guys progress. Just really be yourself because women smell that like it’s bear shit if you aren’t.

24. Stop putting girls on a pedestal. Strike up a conversation with girls in real life when you see them in those public social areas. Genuinely connect with people in real life e.g. ask how they are, their hobbies, interests goals, opinions, etc. Listen and pay attention to what they say. Share those things about yourself when asked. People also subconsciously attach you to the value you bring. The value you bring is a clear, unique, and convincing reason why people will interact with you, let alone do so constantly. So Find ways to add value to their lives. Having In person interactions is the easiest way to stand out from countless people who text or message. People remember and favor in person interactions because of the positive vibes. If your hobbies, skills, talents align with their interests or can help them, bring it up and offer to help them. Finally, learn how to be genuinely busy in your life pursuing your goals and hobbies, while interacting with people on the side. People are hardwired to be repulsed by neediness and desperation and instead gravitate towards those who are self confident and well rounded in life. They want to see active confirmation of you actually doing something in your life other than just talking to them. So chase excellence, not people.

25. Try complimenting a women non-sexually without the expectation of a number or anything. Just to be social.
    If you see she still wants to talk ask open-ended questions that can’t be answered with a yes or no.
    Try this 5 times a day for 8 weeks.Pimps don’t talk to that many women.
    It’s a numbers Game sadly. And that social skill is a skill like any other that needs to be worked on. As time goes by and your trying this the Game will come second hand and you can be more yourself it’ll be unconscious. If at the end of those 8 weeks talking to 5 girls a day you still don’t find someone then it’s not them that’s the problem.

26. The information that you have provided is not enough.. the only thing that is obvious is you’re doing something wrong and I’m going to guess that your communication, flirtation, charisma are lacking something, the best and the fastest way to know what’s your sticking point is to hire a dating coach or go on bootcamp about picking up girls, or watch PUAs content and infields and learn from them and that’s gonna take a lot more time and practice

27. “So I have male dominated uni classes, male dominated hobbies, and go to the bar with all my male friends, and never talk to women unless they bring women over to the table but we can never keep a conversation for more than 10 minutes. What am I doing wrong!!??”

28. You need a combination of these three factors visibility, compatibility, and availability.

    1) If she can’t see you because you have zero social media presence & only hang out with dudes, then chances are that not many women even know you exist. Find some gender neutral hobbies like art, gaming (41% of gamers are female), or whatever you want & be active in your local and/or online community to make yourself visible to women.
    2) If clubs aren’t your scene, then you probably won’t have much in common to talk about with the women there. Find a scene you actually like, so you can find women that you are compatible with.
    3) Availability means being at the right place at the right time to make good connections with women. If you say no to going to a party, are too lazy to go to the park, or you decided to not host an event, then you might’ve missed out on meeting a girlfriend.

    You need all three factors. If you’re not visible, you don’t exist. If you’re not compatible, you won’t get along. If you’re not available, then you’ll never meet.

    PS, It also helps to research how to start a conversation and be prepared with topics to talk about.

29. Read how to be a 3% man

30. You’re looking for one, hence, by the law of all things unreasonable, you won’t find one.

    Don’t ask me how, but women can tell.

    Ex.
    You go to a bar/party/club/whatever to find a girl to hook up with = Might as well stay in.

    You go there with your friends to have fun. Period. = Anything can happen.

    Apart from that: Grooming, attention to details, make sure your shoes are shined/taken care of, ask questions (and be interested), general rule, ask more than you tell.