My husband and I are in our late 30s and he has a high sex drive and I have a low one. Around 4-5 times over the last few years when I’ve said no to sex I wake up during night to him jizzing on my face. Does anyone else’s partner do this? It’s startling to wake up to and upsetting since I know he’s doing it out of anger and for a kind of petty revenge for not having sex with him. I also wonder if it’s some kind of sexual assault I should make note of, for a future divorce if he’s behaviour continues. We probably have sex twice a week and I would make more of an effort if I wasn’t always exhausted from doing almost all the housework and looking after kids as well as being sole breadwinner working two jobs while he’s on his 3rd start-up company which in over 2 years still hasn’t made any income.
Hmmm after reading all the comments seems a lot more serious act than I thought. At least my anger about it is validated, should probably have a serious discussion with him.
39 comments
Well that is pretty damn creepy.
No that is not ok for him to do that. It would be considered SA as you did not consent to him doing that. It’s like having sex with a person who is passed out drunk. You are not able to give consent in that moment. The fact he does it out of spite is rather distressing. You need to speak with him about it (or get him therapy), or it could get worse.
Oh… this is definitely not okay and a good fucking reason for divorce
Yeahhhh that’s not okay. If he’s gonna do that to you what else will he stoop to? If you’re already planning on what to save for a divorce, it’s over. He clearly doesn’t respect you, and is performing sexual acts on you while you sleep without your consent. You gotta get out
It’s not “some kind of sexual assault”– it IS sexual assault.
My vote: Get the hell out.
If you called the police right now for this he would be arrested.
This is disgusting and abhorrent behaviour.
As a guy, this is weird. The fact that it is occurring after you have said no and while you are asleep is sexual assault. He is outside of your consent. Being married doesn’t change that. I’d be very concerned about this guy moving forward. A normal person does not think this is ok under these circumstances or really ever unless verbally agreed to before hand.
I’m so sorry this is happening to you. You DO NOT need to deal with that. I’d give him an ultimatum, either he starts helping you more, or you divorce and charge him for sexual assault. He’ll have a lot of fun as a registered sex offender
I’d divorce his ass over it. Even if it doesn’t qualify as sexual assault, it definitely qualifies as assault (even spitting on someone is considered assault bc it’s a bodily fluid).
Start making note of every time it happens and contact a lawyer. Your husband is an asshole.
Jesus Christ, I’m seeing a lot of posts on this sub Reddit that are disturbing and blatant sexual assaults.
You’re asleep and he’s jizzing on your face without no consent obviously…..YES of course it’s sexual assault get this guy behind bars and divorce this waste of oxygen.
Those are only the things you know that he’s done, what else can he have gotten up to while you were sleeping? Since you’re already the one doing everything, what exactly do you need him for?
This is sexual assault, legally and morally.
Any sexual act that you don’t consent to is SA. What you’ve described is without a doubt SA. I am sorry that this has been happening to you and please do not blame yourself in any way!! You can say no whenever you want and he is not entitled to sex (or anything tbh) from you ever!! Hope you figure things out and can leave if you so choose.
Yeah. Run. All of that. Run.
Is it sexual contact without consent? If so, sexual assault.
Is it a sex act used to attempt to control your behavior? If so, this is domestic violence.
You need to file charges against him. This is abhorrent behavior. Do you have children? If I am desperately worried for you and them!
Is this for real, or are you trolling? It’s a good troll. But in case it’s not, your husband is a sociopath. Bodily fluid is used by low intelligence people to
Mark their territory. It’s also very common in anti social personality disorder. It’s animalistic. It just means that you have to divorce him, or be ready to be on the news some time in the future.
What the actual fuck?
If I woke up to my husband jizzing on my face he would be receiving a swift pinch to the genitals. Absolutely unacceptable- do not let this slide. Why even keep him around? Seems like he makes your life harder than it needs to be.
How fucking gross. We do not put bodily fluids on each other without enthusiastic consent.
Op I would file for divorce. He’s sexually assaulting you. He doesn’t care about you. This is a hill I would die on. I would record him by hiding a camera and then I would have him arrested.
WTFFFFFFFFF
This is 100% assault. Been married 3+ years, together for 6. I’ve said no a billion times for whatever reason I feel. This would never EVER be okay. Please do not feel like this is okay.
Girl. Leave him. Tf.
Call the police every single time it happens.
Also get a couple lawyers. One for sexual assault and one for divorce.
Two times a week is pretty nice when you’ve got a job and family to deal with. Your guy is an asshole for wanting more, especially in his method for revenge. Time to kick him to the couch.
If that’s being done without your prior consent then it is sexual assault. Let him know if it happens again you’ll crush his balls until he’s puking.
Tell him also he needs to get a real fucking job too.
It’s normal for my husband to give me the cold shoulder when this happens. Never ever would he cum on my face just out of spite, because I also shared with him it’s an ick of mine I don’t want to see it I just want to swallow it or him cum in me and he knows that would make me super upset and just break me down. Occasionally I find him on top of me initiating sex but I absolutely love it and it turns me on because it takes me by surprise. I don’t consider that SA because we’re in a relationship, he knows and respects my boundaries, we have built up trust, and he knows not to push it when I absolutely say no and mean it. If my husband did what yours did I would be filing for divorce immediately!
he sounds like dead weight and a predator my love. he’s sexually assaulting you and using you as his sole source of income/housekeeper/nanny. you deserve so much better!
Sweetie would you ever just piss on your husbands face cause your mad at him? This is the equivalent. This is not okay.
Imagine you were on a bus or a train, dozed off, and some random person ejaculated on your face…. How would you feel about it then?
Just because it’s your husband, doesn’t make it consensual or okay. The only thing that would make it okay is if you had agreements with him that it was, and those can still change at any time.
Not only is it sexual assault, but he is doing it as a way to degrade and punish you which is completely unacceptable. This is 100% not okay.
No. If I did that to my wife, I should expect a punch to the tool bag. I wouldn’t anyway. If she said “no” it takes all the fun out of it. Plus, she works full time and is a housewife as well. I get it when she’s tired. When she says no, I roll over and go to sleep. Tomorrow is another day.
lol sex twice a week is a lot for working professionals with kids. He should count himself lucky.
High sex drive here. Have jerked off on my sleeping wife’s face zero times. What he is doing is not only beyond disrespectful but also sexual assault. Why can’t he just quietly take care of himself without disturbing your sleep to carry out a non consensual sex act? Sounds like a real POS.
that is so fucking repulsive of him. if I woke up to my bf jizzing on my face out of anger I would leave him that instant. that’s inexcusable behaviour from him imo
So he
– Sexually assaults you in your sleep
– Does nothing around the house domestically
– For at least two years hasn’t supported the house financially…
I’m glad you’re planning that future divorce because what are you getting out of this relationship?
That is STRAIGHT UP SEXUAL ASSULT, and he is a psychopath!!! If he’s capable of this to you,he’s capable of a lot worse.
Contact RAINN. They can talk this through with you and help you figure out how to handle it.
Also, before you have him removed from your home by court order, sneeze directly on his face instead of using a tissue.
Do you know how little he must think of you to do that?
You’re already a single parent from the work you are doing. Leave!
Talk to a lawyer, get ready for divorce, and keep detailed notes of any of this kind of behavior. And don’t mention a thing about it to him. Also leave the situation if possible.
This is domestic abuse/sexual assault. Just because you’re married doesn’t give him a right to sex and acting out like this is not okay by any means.
I’m sorry, but it sounds like you married a horrible person who doesn’t care about you.