Something incredibly awkward happened to me at our office Christmas party yesterday. I am new at my job and I don’t usually meet any of my coworkers as I work solo (home cleaner). I was invited to a Christmas party, my boss and supervisor insisted I come if I can, so I said yes because I didn’t want to offend them. My supervisor is the only one at work I know and have a somewhat friendly relationship with. I worked many customer service jobs before I landed this one, and I did have some anxiety, but I still presented as this cheerful “people person”. I never thought I’d have an issue dealing with people…but I admit being with coworkers after clock makes me unusually nervous.
So to cut it short, I came to the party and my supervisor has already left. I didn’t know anyone, everyone was like twice my age and already in groups talking. I panicked. I felt this irresistible need to just get out of there or I will have a panic attack. My boss was trying to introduce me to people and offer me drinks, but I was totally out of it. I literally ran away after 5 minutes and my boss looked very confused. I apologized and said I wasn’t feeling well (while shaking). This job is for people with disabilities and I am the only one who has one for mental illness, everyone else has physical issues. He knows that (not the specific diagnosis tho), but still I feel so embarrassed by what happened and I am worried he might think I am not good at dealing with clients (but they love me, I work with elderly and enjoy spending time with them).
I was surprised at what happened to me.I have GAD, but not social anxiety. Although I have trouble dealing with groups and new people (like family, colleagues, friends of friends) I am generally good at dealing with clients because it’s not on a personal level. Lately I have been more introverted and rarely spoke to anyone, I feel like I am becoming socially awkward because of how much time I spend alone. I don’t really want to interact with anyone though. I used to be a life of a party, but now I am just not. Should I tell about this to my psychiatrist? Is it normal when you become older?