during the beginning of the semester we had frequent fights because he was growing closer to another woman. when i confronted him he said it was alright if i did that too now. (during initial phase of the relationship i was all bubbly around everyone, at that time he forbid me from talking to other men) we’ve had a really rough patch since the semester started. and now the semester is about to end in around 2 months he wants us to breakup.
he thinks i have too many expectations when i only ask for the bare minimum. as of now we are on good terms but he keeps talking about breaking up in a couple months. he also keeps body shaming me (im just on the verge of overweight im not overweight yet). he keeps saying if i loose so much and so much weight then he’ll think about keeping the relationship.
he always keeps talking negatively about us and he says harsh words during fights. he said he lost interest in me during my birthday period. he keeps saying im boring and he isn’t attracted to me and that he’s going to stay in the relationship only till the sem end to avoid awkwardness irl. he keeps saying that i should put in efforts so his feelings would come back but at this point idk what should i do. he has interests in things which i don’t understand at all. even if i try he laughs at me as if it were basic gk and makes me feel dumb.
im devastated because my feelings for him are still high. i cant let him go so soon. im not really ready to give up 2 years efforts rn. im not ready to start from the start again. what should i breakup with him or try to get his feelings back? and if try to get his feelings…how?
tl;dr Maybe stuck in a mentally abusive relationship need advice
7 comments
You don’t want to be with this guy. You know it. You don’t want to be alone, but this guy is an asshole to you. If he really dislikes you this much, do him a favor and break up with him. He literally keeps telling you that he doesn’t like you.
Sunk cost fallacy. You’ll be super pissed off at yourself in a year if you stay. You don’t keep an infection for sentimental value.
Oh wow, this guy is so not nice. No, honey, you need to walk away from him, block him on all socials. You deserve someone who thinks you’re beautiful as you are, that you’re smart, fun, and loves that you’re bubbly. Anyone who stops you from talking to a whole gender? That’s someone who has issues with themselves.
YOU have to put in effort to make him have feelings for you? Nope.
There’s nothing wrong with you. There is a lot wrong with him. Not worth your time, your energy, or your love. I’m so sorry, I know it’s hard. But he is not going to be your end-all be-all.
So many red flags here! Forbids you talking to other men, while having an emotional affair. Keeps talking about breaking up with you. Tries to guilt you into losing weight/says you’re unattractive now because of it. Sounds like a jerk overall, but especially during fights. What is this man doing that’s so worth holding on to, other than just being there? You can find someone so much nicer. 2 years feels like a lot, but you won’t miss him once you’ve processed the loss.
Break up with him! This will absolutely not be the last time he requires you to change for him. You will lose yourself in this person who is not worth it at all.
What you are asking for is the bare minimum and you deserve more! I went through exactly the same thing and trust me there is someone out there who will meet your expectations and go above and beyond for you.
Get his feelings back? You must want him to go and hurt you again in round 2. Obviously it’s his way or the highway and he made his decision when he suggested breaking up. You deserve better
You deserve so much better than this little boy who thinks he is better than you. Let this other woman have him.
Think about your best friend, imagine this is her talking to you about her boyfriend. It this back to you from her perspective, what would you tell her to do?
2 years in the grand scheme of things is not a very long time, there will be greater lives in your life!!