basically ive been talking to this guy, and i follow him on instagram, he seems normal hes in college and were planning to meet up. he said he could pick me up and i planned on doing that, but then i realized theres a change it may not be safe because you never know. but were not really going on dates, i think we both just want a FWB relationship.
even if we met up for coffee first tho, i still feel like theres always a possibility it could be unsafe to get into a car with him because you never know? at the end of the day even a guy you think you know really well could harm you or not respect boundaries.
but also what if i see him irl and hes not that attractive and i decide i dont want to do anything sexual with him. he seems like he respects boundaries, but again you just never know. idk i really wanna meet up with him, but i just dont know how to safely do it. again he seems normal, there are no red flags, im just being careful cause i dont wanna get raped or kidnapped š
5 comments
Iād go with ur gut itās pretty rare chance that youād be any of those things if the dude is as chill as you say
The red flag is you just want sex calling it FWB with a guy you don’t really know, and you’re worried about being raped. WTF. This is just stupid. If you want to meet him in person, go in your own car or whatever. Do not get in his car and do not have sex with him at this point in time, if ever. He may be an honest guy, but nobody knows. He could be another Ted Bundy.
since it is the first time, you can decline his offer about picking you upā¦ my advice would be to do the safe thing : send your localisation, texting your homies about that date etc. if you really canāt ignore the car situation, ask him to pick you in a place just a little far than your place, try to make him park in a public space (so people can see the both of u) and you feel unsafe, your guts will manifest themselves + you can always pick excuses like āoh, i need to go the supermarket, emergency hahaā, āoh, my friend is waiting for me at x placeā
Donāt get in if he doesnāt have candy!
The first time (and probably second) you meet any stranger should be in a public space where you can easily leave by yourself. Always have a backup plan of someone you can text or call if things go south. Never trust the word of someone you meet online at face value. It doesn’t matter how nice they seem. Horrible, horrible people are great at acting nice. Do not become another statistic, take your time, and play it safe.