I am M18, usually not very present online, but you gotta get started smh.
**TL:DR:**
Struggled socially due to mental health, improved skills but friendships remained superficial. Persistent search for like-minded friends from childhood to workplace. Rare positive encounter highlighted potential for genuine connections. Currently, surrounded by friends with mediocre interests, impacting motivation. Relies on distractions to avoid negative thoughts. Ongoing quest for meaningful connections despite challenges.
**Long Text:**
Growing up, socializing didn’t come naturally to me, but I managed to make some friends. Over time, my social skills improved despite setbacks related to mental health. However, the friends I made never quite fulfilled my need for genuine connections due to differing interests. They remained more like ‘work friends’ – people to engage in conversations with but not truly connect on a deeper level.
This pattern persisted from my early days in Kindergarten to my current workplace. Despite my efforts, the search for that elusive, practically-minded friend who shared my interests continued. Engaging in conversations and attending social events didn’t help either. I remember one specific instance after school, a rare moment where meeting someone brought genuine happiness, even if it was for nothing special. It made me realize the potential for positive connections amid the ongoing challenge.
Even today, I find myself surrounded by friends with whom I share mediocre matching interests. The desire for a close-knit, small group has always been present, but finding that one group with whom I could share and do much proved to be a challenge.
I’ve noticed a significant impact on my motivation, as well as my mental well-being when I don’t have anyone around. Thatswhy i currently spent a lot of my time distracting myself from the reality, so it wont get into my head again.
1 comment
I think I’m similar to you in that I don’t seem to immediately connect with very many people at all.
What I’ve learned by 34 is that you need to really take notice when you meet someone you click with, or someone you really genuinely like meeting. Then you have to be brave and get their number! Tell them! Ask if they want to hang out. Pursue the friendship. If you felt that connection it’s likely they did too!
If you want specific way to phrase it, here’s the kind of text I have sent in the past: “hey! It was really fun meeting you and hearing about your house and your PhD, I think you’re really cool! I would love to catch up again some time if you’re up for it! Are you around this weekend for coffee maybe?”
I think most people like it when someone likes them 🙂 so they should normally be happy to receive a message like that. Of course not everyone has time for a new friend, so you have to be prepared for rejection, but it’s much much better to try than to just sit home lonely and not try, in my experience.