3 months ago, my friend(girl) decided to matchmake me with her boyfriend’s good friend (28M). At that point I had broken up for 6 months and I told her that appreciated the thought, but wanted to take things slow and I was busy with different aspects of life as well (mental health and work). She and her boyfriend introduced me to the guy and we started chatting. He was gentlemanly.
last week, I met her and she asked me how things were going with the guy. I told her it was good and to my horror she started telling me she would call the guy to ask him to make it official asap. (I was horrified as I did not want her to give him false hope as I was not ready for anything official yet). The first time she said it, I just laughed it off. But after she repeated it again, I became serious and told her I would prefer it to not be rushed and it is too soon if we became official within the next 2 weeks. After we left, she texted me again saying she will tell him to ask me official. I replied to just let things be and not rush things.
Fast forward a few days later, the guy and I met and on that day he asked me to be official. At that moment, I was too shocked and said yes, but afterwards he told me that his guy friend had called him to advice him and halfway through, my friend had burst in and took the phone and gave him more advice. After a few days and more pondering on my part, I’m hurt/angry that my good friend would totally not heed my advice or respect my wishes and still go over my head to talk to the guy and (potentially) rush things from his end. Even after I had told her to let it go, she still continued. I am annoyed as it might extended further and she might overshare about my details with him in future again. But at the same time I don’t know if it’s too entitled of me to think this way, as maybe she just wants the best for me. Am I thinking too entitledly? Should I confront her even if it might ruin our friendship? Should I be honest with the guy and tell him this is too fast for my liking?
TL;DR – my friend is nosing in my relationship with my date (now bf) (28M) and rushing him to rush the relationship. Should I have a serious talk with her?
2 comments
Your friend definitely overstepped. She put you in an awkward position. What if you’d been planning on ending things? That’s not ok if her and I’d definitely tell her not to interfere like that again.
You should also tell the guy that you still want to take things slow as you have goals you are working towards in other areas of your life too.
Don’t be a pushover. Why are you letting her do whatever she wants?
Be assertive and draw the line. I am not saying be rude or mean.. just assertive and direct. Your business is your business. You will decide if you want it to be however.