What’s some crazy things you did cuz you were horny?

32 comments

1. I wish my experiences were as wholesome as that

2. Banging my ex outdoor , It was intense

3. Similar. I was on my way to class in college and turned around and went right back to my apartment.

4. I wrote a perverted ass short story on my phone, like legit pages long, got off to it, then deleted it

5. Sex in the middle of a road

   Sex in a graveyard

   And almost missed a deployment

6. I drove an hour for some trash pussy and ran out of gas on the way back.

7. I once scaled a house, heavily intoxicated, by climbing a drain pipe to knock on the window of my FWB’s bedroom for a late night booty call… it didn’t go down well, but I did, I feel off the Victorian balcony and landed on a wheelie bin back first. Lesson learned.

8. Drove almost 2 1/2 hours at midnight only to have her sister tell me she’s passed out drunk. And a long 2 1/2 hour back home.

9. When I was like 13 I tried making a Lego fleshlight, I kinda just made an empty rectangle with pieces. Didn’t really work. Sometimes I still wonder if there’s a way

10. Had sex with a girl that looked like CC DeVille from Poison because I got catfished, but I decided to soldier through it

    EDIT: not CC from Poison’s heyday, CC currently.

11. I fucked a big girl. It’s a whole story. I don’t feel like typing it again or reliving it. Let me find where I jotted down the whole story and get back to you.

    [edit: Found it](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/ZRq0tkOgbq)

    Also edit: after reading some of the comments I realized there was no way this woman was 300ish pounds. She was probably 400+ because of how tall she was.

12. Stopped on a road trip to have sex because I couldn’t wait until we got to our destination.

    Also not related to sex, the weirdest thing I did for a girl was wear a wig going into her house when her parents weren’t home because her dad didn’t allow guys over.

13. I agreed to anything she said while she was giving me a handy and ended up watching her with some guy

    (We broke up)

14. When I was 13 I cut a hole in a huge stuffed animal and fucked it… no I don’t like stuffed animals I was watching pov porn and set my iPad on the head 💀

15. Almost got sextorted online. Not one of my better days.

16. Not crazy things, crazy people. I let my standards go right out the window to looks good and available.

17. Talked to a girl * pfft *

18. Entered into a 12 year relationship with someone with an IQ measured in decimals. At first she was good company, funny and almost sweet but as soon as we found out she was pregnant her whole personality changed (literally the very minute she was holding a positive pregnancy test!) And she became insufferable. Love my daughter and thank her mother for her and since breaking up we’ve been OK and I still see my daughter regularly.

19. Hooked up with this girl on Tinder. She was on a business trip and said: This hotel, room 123, 7pm. I am waiting for you showered, just do what you want to me and leave. No talking. It was crazy

    Edit – full story as described in the comments:

    I was never that kind of guy who is egoistic in bed. I entered the hotel room, we started kissing, after that I told her to go on her knees. I finished her with my mouth, I was always into eating someone out – I love it and it is also for my pleasure. She loved it – I think. She was really into spanking and slapping her face and heavy chocking. The more I slapped her face, the harder I got. I finished with a huge load on her face. She was sitting in front of me, I dressed my self and said: Btw, I am… I introduced myself afterward so she had at least a name to this crazy night

20. Once hooked up with a chick years ago who worked at a Friend’s bar. Every time I started stroking, she’d weez and moan like a donkey…it was weird. I didn’t care though, it was good.

21. I used to go to bing.com on a flip phone and look up 144p pics of boobies

22. Jerked off when car broke down while Waiting on recovery

23. Tried to suck my own dick for real, My rib cage went for a nope that day

24. It’s not that crazy on my end per se, but it was a really weird situation lol.

    I had been messaging with this woman on okcupid. She was much older than me, like 20ish years older. I was 25, and she was like mid 40s. She was passing thru the city I lived in and was leaving the next day. I was at work, and my shift ended at like 2am, we were messaging throughout my shift, and she told me to come to her hotel room as soon as I got off work. I was so jazzed! I told the guys I was working with about needing to go meet up with this gal, and they rallied to let me leave a little early. I left work a bit after midnight and headed straight to her hotel. When I got there, she opened the door, and there were two boys playing video games in her room, they looked to be about maybe 12 and 14. They looked up at me briefly and then went back to their video game as if there was nothing weird about me showing up there at all. I was pretty confused and taken aback as I was definitely under the impression, based on our messaging, that she wanted to hook up. She invited me in, hugged me, kissed me, and then beckoned for me to sit down on the bed with her. I felt awkward as hell with these kids in the room, so I opted to sit on the chair adjacent to the bed she was on instead. I had picked up a 6 pack of nice beer on my way over and offered her one and then opened one for myself. As we sat there sipping our beers and awkwardly chatting, one of the boys looked up from his video game to look over at me and said “I liked the last guy better, he brought her a bottle of wine!” In my head I was like WTF. Turns out the two boys were her kids and I wasn’t the first dude she invited over to her hotel room that night. We did not have sex. I quickly drank my beer and took off. We never saw each other again. 😂😂😂

25. Got a late-night invitation from a friend while I was drunk and high to hang out with him and a couple of ladies he met at the bar. Wound up having some whiskey-dick, poor performance sex on the floor of this woman’s house before mistaking the stairs to the basement for the bathroom, taking a fall down them and punching a hole in the drywall at the bottom with my head. Awkward times.

26. Missed my flight home from college because we woke up and I was like I still got time…I did not still got time

27. Once drove over an hour for some garbage minge…post nut clarity hit hard and I threw my lungs up on the way home.

    I lost my own self respect that night, along with a decent carbonara.

28. I had poison ivy all over my dick and it was there for like a week. Eventually I had to jerk off. The combination of “itching”, pure relief, not cumming in a week was fucking 💥☠️🙌🤯

    So it did it again the next day, took a while for that to clear up lol

29. Had a gf in high school that I rarely got to be alone with.
    Well one weekend my best friend has a house party and I bring my gf with. We’re all feeling the vibes of the UV Blue and my girl and I both get a hankering for some….alone time.

    We searched the house for somewhere private and there was nowhere.
    But, wait, we have a great idea. My elementary school playground is 1 block away.
    It’s 12am, we stumble our way there and get settled in the tube slide. For coverage, ya know?

    Well.

    I get my pants off, get my guy wrapped, and just barely get my guy in there when all of a sudden SPOTLIGHT.
    oh fuck oh fuck.

    I throw her pants in the slide with her and jump in there myself as if we could hide.

    A cop pokes his head around and says “I know you’re in there, come on guys”.

    I stumble out with my pants barely around my waist and my now flaccid member still wrapped for safe use. At the same time she is clumsily trying to put her pants on in an enclosed slide. It was….an awkward feeling all around.

    Both got let go with a warning after they took us home, thankfully.

    One year later I proudly took my Senior photos on that slide.

30. Was doing a longer term field op while I was in the marines (ITX rah?) was away for about a month, decided a week in I was gonna refrain from jacking it so I could bust a fat nut on my wife’s face as the day I was coming back was my birthday. Got pushed back a day and had a wet dream during a nap while waiting at the air station. Had to fly back to NC with trousers full of jizz on my birthday.

31. Film myself masturbating then masturbated to it

32. Got a full time legit adult job where I spend all my time to pay for a big house to hold my children, who constantly need shoes and dentistry and shit.